Dateline Normal: "The Saga of Control Data II"---FICTION

Dateline Normal: The Saga of Control Data II----Fiction

(Ed. note. Control Data (click on the post for the history) was a historic corporation that grew out of the cryptographers of WWII into the new computers. It had as its first employees, Seymour Cray, inventer of the Cray Computer, as well as the founder, William Norris. As a young gradeschooler, my father invested my piggybank in Control Data stock at $1. per share. Thanks, Dad. My wife also has a history with Control Data, working on the lawsuit that Control Data won against IBM that broke up the monopoly. I dedicate this story to this strong family tradition---controlling the data.)

I had been listening to all the speeches, reading all the graphs, and doing all the research surrounding the budget stuff of our locale, and got data overload----so I headed up to the Northern tundra, up Hwy 10 to my favorite town, Normal, Mn.

I met Herman, as usual, at the little railroad car diner, kiddy corner from the bait shop, the one with the colored stones on it, and settled into the leather booth seating and launched right into a very strong coffee, lots of sugar and whipped cream.

I told Herman that I had been thinking about all the good times and the days of Control Data and how it had changed Minnesota.

"Shucks, Wolfman (that's what he always called me,) I know you get sentimental about controlling the data, but up here in God's country we have a little bit of Control Data II----It's quite the scandal.

"Whatever are you talking about, Herman, I asked?

"Well, it seems that the local prison warden, Willie Schwartz, was pacing in the local prison cafeteria a few months ago. He was deeply dissatisfied with the size of his office and the general sad state of funding for projects that he loved. Most folks would have given up. Not Willie. He had the tenacity of the American Way. He had creativity. He had determination. And he loved numbers and -----yes--- controlling data.

It seems that the major problem was the data. The prison population had been very static up here in Normal County for at least a decade. That did not stop Willie. He knew all about data and how to use it. He talked to the local Normal sheriff's association, and the guys all agreed. If it was data that Willie needed----that is what they would provide."

"What possibly could they do," I asked.

"It's just real simple, Wolfman. You are just so naive an all---they had a little roundup----a real no holds barred clean up in all of the local counties. The arrest citations just soared. Everone was shocked that it could have happened up here in God's country. All those arrested folks were given some generous time for court appearances. A little compassion------- as Willie described it. The statistics on arrest were noted. They were soaring.

Then Willie got out his Applied Population Model and prepared the Willie Planning Model which showed that at the current rate of arrest, all of Normal was headed for a catastrophe in corrections. It was clear that they needed a new, large correctional facility---he wanted to call it "The Rock". The stunned voters----- deep in fear mode----- approved the referendum that was rushed through.

Then, months after the referendum, those arrested folk with the delayed appearances were seen in court. And their cases dismissed.

Willie just smiled.

"It's all about the numbers," he said. "I'm just a numbers guy."

Well. Thank goodness I'm back in good old Wisconsin. Where we don't just gather the data and make the numbers work out for our grandiose plans. Where we serve the community interest and even listen occasionally. And where we work on the freedom model and not the prison model.