Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Saturday, April 1, 2006

"How Normal got its name"-----FICTION

Last weekend was that annual peak moment when the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers met on the football field of the Metrodome in Minnesota.

It was great to get the vehicle out on the open road with the Packer flags waving on the side windows all the way. It is true that when one is a true Packer fan, one likes the open air stadiums----- not the Metrodome.

I well remember one such Viking game back at the old stadium near the airport -----on a crisp cold fall day with the leaves changing and the stands crammed full of fans in bulky jackets breathing plumes of steam in the cold, cold air. Alas--those days are gone. Now one can watch the wall to wall tv. monitors and never really even see the turf in the Metrodome.

Rather than struggle with the traffic, I simply steered the car, Packer flags and all, around 694 and headed up HWY 10 to good old Normal, Mn, just south of Garrison. On gameday at the Hideaway Lounge, they always saved a special parking stall for us out of towners.

As I entered the Hideaway Lounge, the guys were abuzz in discussion about the "field" vs. turf of the Metrodome, and whether this would be a curse for the Packers. Being in a more reflective mood, and yes maybe dazed a bit by the long drive with the loud rock music blaring, wondered how we named things these days. It used to be a football "field" when I was young, but now it was "turf". So.....I just blurted it out:

"Herman, I just wonder how we name things these days. Why DO they call it Normal, MN?"

The whole group was pretty startled by my question. They all listened while Herman rose to the occasion to give the answer.

"Well, Wolfman (that's what he always called me.) You are correct that it was not always called Normal, Mn..( In fact, readers who travel up Hwy 10 well know the bait shop with the colored stones so often referred to in these fictional tales. I trust they will keep the secret.)

But the answer, Wolfman. Years ago our fair city was graced with a creative citizen who had a .....plenty of ......wonderful ideas for improvement and investment in our town. And what's even better for...well...him...each idea had a substantial investment necessary from the taxpayers. At the beginning this was wonderful. Folks were excited to get the very latest. Over a longer time, and once the taxes had skyrocketed in town, the city fathers gathered together to take dynamic action to preserve the essence of the town and guarantee the peace of fishing that has made it famous."

"In short, Wolfman" they offered to name the town after him-- Normal, Mn.. In return, he would propose no further taxpayer funding for his ventures. Mr. Normal readily agreed. He was thrilled. So were the taxpayers and citizens. Today---just as the major football stadiums are named after corporate sponsors---well....that all started up HERE in Normal, Mn. We did it first. And the best part----today, since we have no white elephants to contend with, we have the lowest tax burden in Minnesota. Everyone is happy here. Affordable living. Peace. What could be better?"

What a shocking idea!! And yes. A wonderful one too.!! Rather than letting him buy the city....they named it after him instead. WOW.

It was a wonderful game. Brett Favre set the all time touchdown passing record. Soon it was time to head on back to good old Wisconsin.

It sure is good to be back in good old Wisconsin...... good old cheese country. Where tycoons are bigger than life. Where any tycoon worth his cheese could never settle for just having a town named after him. Never!! That's just no substitute for owning it.

Still. During the long drive back home...the more I thought and thought...Maybe...just maybe...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've heard rumors of a Normal, WI incorporating about 17 miles west of Janesville. There is still some red tape yet, but I think the trusted officials will make the right decision.