Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Monday, April 12, 2010

"There's Real Swearing at the "Swearing In Ceremony" in Normal, Mn."---FICTION

This past weekend, in order to get away from all the acrimony of politics, I headed on up to the peace and fishing of Normal, Mn.---and during a Saturday night session with the locals at the Hideaway Lounge, where my favorite Tex-Mex band was playing, I asked the group what the local tradition of the "swearing in ceremony was". The folks at our table just erupted in joy as they explained the local traditon.

It seems that years ago, to fight the boredom and status quo mentality of the locals toward politics, the swearing in ceremony in Normal, Mn. was seen as the last time that the candidates and their supporters could curse their opponents out loud----and one minute was given right before the swearing in ceremony to get all that animosity out---after that they had to be civil to each other----so over the years it had developed into quite a scene---literally there was a whole lot of swearing going on for that one minute each election cycle.

Well it sure is good to be back home....where we are not limited by just one minute of swearing...anyway...it sure should be interesting.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

All the Candidates use robocallers in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, MN.: FICTION

Well it has been pretty upsetting...with all the unauthorized robocallers wandering around doing their stand up cold calling cowboy routine for the local candidates.....kind of like hijacking the gold bullion stage coach headed to Carson city...in them olden days.

So I wondered...and just called my old friend, Herman,...the countryboylawyer from Normal, Mn....he was a lawyer...he should know...

Herman just let out a huge bellylaugh;

"Shucks Wolfman( that's what he always called me); Up here in Normal, Mn., we are long past the point of human contact in politics---its just too messy...we love the digital age...with all the ipods and the Ipads...and the inhuman aspects of it....

So...we made it a local ordinance that all candidates MUST use robocalling, and absolutely no human interaction with any citizen...that is best....and we have made the robocalling free of charge...just to make it a level playing field.....after all...it is about fishing up here...and the politics is extra...even below fish cleaning."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

"Leave it up to the Building Inspector"---the national role model of Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well last week, the local planning commission voted to address one of the most contentious issues worldwide----the issue of set back from floodway, or floodplain, for the purpose of construction of homes or commercial ventures---if you search google, you will see whether it is the British and the Prime Minister living in the flood plain at 10 Downing Street, or whether it is the locals, citizens are struggling on how to say....well...."no"---to those who would buy cheap land, build, sell to the unsuspecting, and then when the inevitable comes and the structure is damaged---have the buyer demand to be bailed out from the damage at taxpayer expense.

I wondered.

So I just picked up the phone and called my old friend Herman, the countryboylawyer of Normal, Mn. He should know.

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh.

"Shucks, Wolfman,(that's what he always called me)---we faced this issue years ago---and after deciding at the common council that we did not want to decide cause it was too difficult...we let it up to the "building inspector"----and presto---it was so successful that we have extended the idea toother contentious issues, like...teenage drinking, sign ordinance issues, animal control issues....and lastly world peace."

WOW. What a solution!!!!!

It turns out that locally we have been in the forefront of the solution to some of the vexing problems of our time.