Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

"How to Furlough Government Civil Servants and Hire Your Relatives at Huge Savings and other funny stories": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

One of the books of interest lately is the above text that has all of the copies out of our Normal, Mn. library----our newly elected governor has made this text required reading...stay tuned as I follow the logic.

New Governor Says only will Obey Laws specifically enumerated by the Almighty Himself: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The Newly elected governor of Normal, Mn. has proclaimed that since the billy bob administrative bodies have been enumerating items in legislation that have been sheer fantasy and not the original intent of the Almighty Himself, that henceforth only sins or breaches of law specifically banned by the Almighty will be prohibited...Everything else will be fair game. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Let's Cut your Expenses... Not Mine Party Wins Big in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well there it was....the primary election when one candidate asked the open forum of couples assembled....."Where would you cut?"

And each couple instantly found ways to cut their spouses' expenses, not their own...and that gave the leading political party its slogan....

"Let the Other guy sacrifice, not me" and it was the winning formula. It was so totally American and natural.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Pet Donations Overflow Cannisters in Yuletide Season: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Such a special joy for the season.

Napoleon Hill Millionaires Club Formed in Normal, Mn.: See it and Believe: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

This new millionaires club will be meeting monthly in Normal, Mn., and the beginning text will be the classic by Napoleon Hill, "Think and Grow Rich"---now you too can be a millionaire by beginning the journey...just visualize the dream and it will be yours....stay tuned.....

Special Memories Group Forms in Normal, Mn.: Book of Uniform Nostalgia distributed in Leaflet Form: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

How special....Now seniors can treasure the same identical memories with no factual errors...stay tuned as this story is developed.

"Police Drinking Sweep nets ZERO Violators": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Unbelievable that after all that effort noone was caught....a fully funded initiative has been launched to help in the vision...stay tuned.

Local Homeless man Gift Wraps Junk, Offers Free Shipping, Hailed as Hero: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

This is a story under development today...Seems a local man has come to the forefront in the competition for entrapeneur of the year in Minnesota for his innovative business plan that has featured local content shipped FREE in delightfully wrapped boxes....stay tuned.

"We are All Irish Now" Celebration planned for St. Pats Day 2011 in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In a press release today, a group of locals from Normal, Mn. has announced the theme for St. Pat's Day 2011---"We are All Irish Now"---bring on the bailout, junk bonds, whiskey and austerity...in that order.

It seems that in the local community that has few Irish, judging by all the green decorated cakes left unsold on the day following St. Pats, many folks are feeling a kindred spirit with the Irish this year in light of the fact that the Irish economy is in peril and ...well...we are too....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Patriots Lobby for Higher Taxes in Normal, Mn.; FICTION

A small band of elderly citizens have launched a campaign in Normal, Mn. to have taxes increased so that the ammo that our troops fire will be paid for rather than having funds borrowed. They have stated that fighting wars with borrowed money is dumb....and ultimately will destroy us....And in a larger sense, borrowing money for everything is dumb when compared to paying cash.

Stay tuned as I follow this political action group.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Normal, Mn School District Moves to New Born Care: Cites Decline in Enrollment: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

BREAKING NEWS from Normal, Mn. via text today----

Normal, Mn. School District will be providing newborn care for all infants....and why? cause they're such special kids....and besides, with declining enrollment we have the space to enlarge the mission to serve our community more....and capture more state revenue to support our wonderful staff and employees.....

If you are planning on a newborn in the new year, if you are married and considering having a child in the new year, or if you are unmarried and having a child in the new year, call our toll free hotline today for the full information packet...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Miss Toosie's Petunia Society to hold Christmas Holiday Charity Ball: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The Annual Charity Ball sponsored by Miss Toosie's Petunia Society will be held at the local Masonic Lodge on Dec 20th---This event has been held for over a hundred years. As the usual custom, tickets are $50 per couple and participants are asked to bring a dozen Christmas cookies to serve at intermission for all the guests.

The guest dance band this year will be the legendary Whooopie John Old Time Band from Minnesota....

At this event each year folks can display their favorite old time fashions and there will be awards for the most historic costume and attire.

All proceeds from this event will go to the Rose Fund, the perpetual care fund funded to care for the roses planted in local parks.

St. Patricks Day Celebration is Cancelled in Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Pretty stunning news from Normal, Mn. this morning; in a text from my old friend Herman, it seems that by civil ordinance they have cancelled celebration of St. Patricks Day in Normal, Mn.-----

Just the whole thought of being like the Irish and having to be austere was too much...the locals who for many years now had believed that they had not been saved, that it was just the parasite bankers that had got the bailout, were shocked by the depth of the national political bailout of corporations, school districts, cities etc with TIF projects, sewer projects, senior center projects and all sorts of good projects that the federal government needed to be involved in and fund totally so that they could move forward------it was all so shameful that they in one sudden moment got sick to their stomach and did not want to party anymore...I know that is hard to believe...but it's the news.....

And they decided to hang a banner across the road entering Normal, Mn. that declared in bold red letters...."We're ALL Irish NOW"...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Miss Toosie's Petunia Society to Meet Wednesday: Economic Development goals cited

Miss Toosie has announced that the annual Petunia Society Christmas Luncheon will be held next Wednesday night at the Elks Lodge in Normal, Mn. The society, quite famous for the past century in the frozen tundra, will focus on the wonderful achievements in economic development of the society during the past century.

In a brief interview, Miss Toosie explained that it may seem to some that the members are just caring for petunias, but in a larger global sense, when one truly cares for a petunia in the proper spirit, the whole community benefits and thus the result is community development and economic development.

If anyone attending the meeting could get a picture of the petunias, I would be most grateful.

Santa Comes to Normal, Mn. EVERYDAY till Christmas: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Wonderful news from Normal, Mn. via text this morning...it seems that Santa had come to town with his sleigh all the way from the North Pole on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but the kids in town had been too busy with other things, like football, hockey and their iphones and ...well...forgot to get downtown to see Santa....

So Santa has decided to make the trip to Normal, Mn. each and everyday till Christmas just to make darn sure that every child in Normal, Mn. has a chance to visit the wonderful local mall and tell Santa personally in the presence of his or her parents just what must be purchasedt for Christmas..

Stay tuned. It sure is a lot of commute time for Santa, but one does have to admire the committment.