Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Normal, Mn. allows guns in State Capitol---bans AK-47s: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Normal, Mn. city fathers moved swiftly this morning to approve "concealed carry" of guns in the state capitol---regular guns will be allowed, but not AK-47's. No ammo will be allowed however.

In reviewing the logic with citizens of Minnesota, city fathers explained that it was important to be competitive with Wisconsin, and allow the appearance of a macho Wild West manly style, and at the same time, it was important not to let gunfire damage the historic interior of the State Capitol.

Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Fear of Running Out of Beer Consumes Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Responding to the neverending litany of bad news, the Common Council of Normal, Mn. today announced that the usual celebration for the 4th of July has been extended for a full two weeks---until July 14. Over the fourteen days there will be 28 bands playing and a limitless variety of entertainment for the whole family----

There has been some concern that with the rising beer consumption of Wisconsin that there might be a veritable "run" on cheap beer supplies with none left for Minnesota---but city elders have issued a decree that a full supply of the cheapest beer will be available in plentiful supply---it has been purchased in advance and is in secure coolers----did I say it was cheap?

Stay tuned as we follow the story.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Family Planning cancelled in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Click on the post for the latest.

Family Planning Cancelled in Normal, Mn.: Need for Cheap Underage Labor Cited; FICTION

Shocking news from Normal, Mn. this morning, that all family planning services have been defunded as of today---seems that as part of their comprehensive plan, it was determined that the only way to counter all the youth leaving Normal, Mn. for the big cities, and the resulting severe labor shortage....or more correctly phrased...." severe CHEAP labor shortage"---the elimination of all family planning will help fix this problem.

A companion bill will be presented shortly to lower the minimum wage law..Stay tuned as the news just keeps getting better.

Normal, Mn. Celebrates Large new Trash Dump--Explains Why Important: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. on the latest news that the Mayor of Normal, Mn. has cut the ribbon on the brand spanking new trash dump for that fair city---and eliminated the recycling program immediately.

In a brief ribbon cutting speech, the Mayor said that this was all in the effort to be competitive with emerging third world countries---where the competitive edge went to countries that had large dumps where the kids could pick up garbage and other things for their homes. Normal, Mn just wanted to be competitive with the world class third world competition. The recycling program was eliminated because it was just too expensive.

Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Normal, Mn Moves to Eliminate Child Labor Laws to Compete With Wisconsin: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Got the alarming text today that Normal, Mn. has met in emergency session to eliminate all child labor laws in order to compete with their Wisconsin competition.

It is unclear what effect this will have at this time...since there are very few children left in Normal, Mn., a small fishing town in northern Minnesota. 99% of current residents are beyond child rearing age, and most indeed are either fishing or in nursing homes. They go to sleep early.

Even though way beyond their competitive youth, the town of Normal, Mn elders felt that they wanted to be competitive with Wisconsin or even China.....

Stay tuned.