Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

Follow by Email

Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Cash Trumps Wall Street Bull this Christmas: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn,,at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where all the guys have had a long coffee session since the weather has been so unseasonably mild that their ice shacks are very close to sinking into the water....and they have been glaring at the news on the old black and white tv over the coffee roasting machine that has been blaring out how stocks are plunging world wide....and they came up with a new indicator----the sinking ice shack indicator...that seems to sink just like their investments in 401K etc....and the old guys were mentioning the failure of traditional portfolio management in that when there are times of panic..Both stocks and bonds can plunge...and so the old guys just smiled and all vowed to never forget the mantra that they had learned as kids...."CASH trumps Wall Street BULL." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

.25 cent gasoline: Memories of the bass fishermen of 1974:;; Tales from Normal Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....they were sipping coffee this morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and the guys were remembering the good old days of 1973...when gas prices were .25 per gallon....and of course they also remembered that the prices of three bedroom ramblers was about $24,000 for a nice one used....and entry level jobs were about $500 a month.... Every single man was excited with the drop in gas prices and could not wait till they returned to .25 per gallon...and also they were waiting till the price of a three bedroom rambler in Minneapolis or St. Paul was $24,000...and that price included a new modern kitchen with dishwasher and such....Until then...the rule was just rent...stay tuned...those youngins are so hip.

Americans proud of the power of fracking to lower gas prices and also proud of Saudi efforts to destroy them...nice: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...in an amused session at Betty Lou's coffee shop this morning...where the bass fishermen were all assembled because of the fog conditions....were all abuzz about the fall in the price of oil, and the enthusiasm of the political pundits that this was great for America, even though it might mean the destruction of some banks for the third time in a decade, and all conservative income investors nationwide, and also all the newest fracking operations.... One older bass fisherman called the whole operation "911 Part II"....nice.

Church Leader prescribes Heart softening pills and hearing aids for all Bishops: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

A well known pontiff...who as some insiders know once owned a motorcycle...has now prescribed an infallible dictum to all his bishops...that from now on hearing aids will be dispensed..on the assumption that they are needed...and further that a supply of new breakthrough heart softening pills will be sent along with the hearing aids...both in a plain vanilla unmarked envelope...the bass fishermen in Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn. were just wildly enthusiastic with the news....imagine they said...a person at the top of an organizational chart that actually gets it..wow....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Fishermen looking for BABA certified financial Statement: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. who have been drinking coffee steadily this morning in preparation for Pres. Obama's immigration speech tonight...and one of the men was wildly enthusiastic about the Chinese internet company, Alibaba, with the symbol BABA....yes it was the symbol that was pretty catchy...but he did pause when one of the older bass fishermen asked him how to obtain a certified financial statement for this company...the guys just smiled...then one spoke...."nothing is "certified" in China...its all make believe"....then all the guys laughed...and the subject was dropped...but then in a note to all of my readers...if you find a certified financial statement for a chinese firm....bravo....to you...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Clerics are told to end obsession with dogma...begin compassion..some pushback: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Well just got the tweet...the Pope has told folks, and bishops too, that the deal is to focus on compassion and not just dogma...but the bishops have had some pushback...and have some concerns that the end of dogma might end their proclivities...but the laity has been enthusiastic...and so it all remains as it was...with the laity, elderly going to church with only the elderly and praying for those who are not there...stay tuned.

Housing Rebound expected after Death: Tales from Normal, Mn. : Fiction

Just got the tweet today...the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn. were pretty amused to hear that the economic recovery via the housing rebound will occur just after their death..how convenient..stay tuned as I follow this story....

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Fox News considers reporting election results before polls open: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Some pundits are speculating that if Fox News is reporting the results before the polls close..it will be just a hop skip and a jump till they begin reporting the results before the polls open....stay tuned.

Economists excited by Consumer Dreams: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...that this very morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. a distinguished economist from the Twin Cities, Son Won Upchuk, spoke to the small group of bass fishermen there...where the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge....He began his presentation by saying that no matter how pessimistic voters might be today, and no matter the difficulties that consumers are presented with, there is room for hope....he cited a recent poll that stated that even though consumers have not been purchasing more goods...things..products that make the world work for all of us workers...yet they still have dreams of some day buying things when they can some day afford it...and those dreams, while not formerly the realm of economists, have been duly noted....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Cheap Gasoline Christmas...simplified: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The bass fishermen at Betty Lou's were pretty excited this morning...they had just heard that the falling price of gasoline at the pump was going to be their Xmas present this Xmas...and that it amounted to QE4, and trillions for the economy....It was just their first cup of coffee...and yes they might have been a bit rusty...but to a man they whipped out their phones and did the numbers...one guy led them..."If we were as successful as Warren Buffett and drove 5000 miles a year, and saved .50 per gallon and got 30 miles to the gallon...it would amount to something over $80 per year to each man...so they began to think of how they could break it down monthly and how they would spend the $6.66 per month that was the bonanza of cheap oil...and one by one...they decided that the best thing would be to just buy some extra minnows for bait, and forget the shopping...since it is pretty hard to find something good for $6.66...

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Distinguished Trust Representative Urges investors to hold:; Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A distinguished executive from the Frozen Tundra Investment Fund was in Normal, Mn. this morning to speak at the Big Minnow Rotary Society of Normal, Mn.,,,a group of older bass fisherman in these parts...and after his presentation, in which he urged the locals to keep their holdings in stocks and bonds and not sell in a panic, because he was hoping to sell those shares held in margin accounts on a short sale for his company and make a killing...as he had been doing for all the past year...well...the bass fishermen were pretty stunned, and then after a second cup of coffee they got a little angry...why...just to think that all of the baby boomer generation had been fed a bunch of pablum to be long term investors so that the wise guys could sell them short and make a killing just made them furious....stay tuned as I follow this story...

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Bass Fishermen Love Lots of CASH on the Table: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...the bass fishermen were glued to the black and white tv that hangs above the counter at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn as the stock market news flashed nonstop all morning long covering the plunging US stock market....one pundit expecially got their interest...he was a large multi-billion dollar fund manager that reminded investors that over the long term, cash was a bad investment since it left "lots of cash on the table." The bass fisherman to a man just smiled....finally one spoke up..."Having lots of cash on the table is just fine with me"....and besides he said, "long term is just this afternoon when you get to my age."

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Distinguished Economist Fears Nation's Poor will Trigger Inflation: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop...in Normal, Mn....the iconic coffee shop where all the coffee is double black, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and where this very morning there was a special guest from the Twin Cities...a celebrated economist who during coffee this morning shared his latest theory...and a theory he has written of in his latest book, well..in fact a theory that he has written about over and over and over again in all of his twenty books over the past 30 years...and that theory is that the very poorest of the poor of America risk the entire economy of the USA by triggering inflation by buying goods during the upcoming Christmas season, with money that they do not have, but might spend anyway with credit that they do not have, but might somehow get...and all this spending will trigger inflation, which could ruin American prosperity, or at least the prosperity of those who have it presently.... The bass fishermen just smiled...and finally after a few minutes, one old guy spoke up: "Ya mean that Wal Mart sales will rise?" The economist replied that he did not understand the question...so the old bass fishermen persisted: "WalMart sales and earnings have been a big disappointment lately since the poor do not have the money to buy much...and consumer staples stocks have also suffered because of the same problem....So it seems that you are fearing that the poor will get jobs that they have stuggled to get in the past, and that they will buy goods that they have not been able to buy in the past...in short...you are saying that if a miracle occurs, there will be inflation...." The economist replied that he still did not understand.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Famous Athlete Beaten as youth, beats 4 yr old son: Be Like me: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that a famous football league that is known for its toughness, was totally shocked by the scandal that occured when a famous running back who was beaten as a youth, and was proud of it, as a sign of his toughness, then beat his 4 year old son....so he could be great also, one presumes.... The bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop this morning were pretty puzzled by all this...they had thought that memory loss was caused by the extreme hitting of the linemen which caused memory loss; but in this case, it appears that dull vision and memory loss has also crept into the executive ranks of professional sports....and they wondered whether rather than having 5 or so high priced suited sports commentators with no helmets on the sunday sports shows....maybe just 1 or 2 regular folk with helmets might be an improvement....after all, just needing 5 guys to describe what happened means that there must be some memory loss at even the public relations level....Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Launching planes and ICBM's as an Economic Stimulus tool: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen on Sunday morning...they have been watching the weekly recap of news and were in awe of what has become of the distinguished economics theory of economic development...it seems that at the highest level of government...or maybe just Russian government, but when one reflects maybe others share the theory, when one is faced with the plunge of value of ones currency or is facing an ominous recession...one of the tools of stimulation is of course "printing of more money" but that technique does get old after a while, or after one has printed trillions of money...and the next tool from the Chicago or maybe Russian theory of economics is to launch bombers and ICBM's on just a "war games" exercise of course, to get some economic stimulation going, and of course to develop some real patriotism of the locals....this all seemed pretty stunning to the bass fishermen....and they wondered to a man what has become of the Economics department worldwide....maybe they just got a little bored with the traditional texts and decided to expand the tools of the trade to include world war.....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Rise of the "Buffer Zone": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet on Sunday morning from the Bass Fishermen in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---they were all there this morning and watching the overhead black and white tv which was broadcasting news about the "Buffer Zone" in place in the Ukraine....17 miles or so of planned neutral space that the rebels and the Ukraine troops have agreed that they will withdraw from....but have not so far.... And the more the guys talked about the "Buffer Zone" the more they liked the concept...and they felt that in cases of conflict, one needs some space to sort out the issues and reflect a bit...and when it came time for them to leave for Church...they resisted...and decided to declare a "Buffer Zone" between themselves and the Church .....until the Church could sort out the mismanagement and abuse that it had been involved in for the past...several...decades...or maybe a couple hundred years....it must have been a while...since all of the higher ups that have been called to testify in St. Paul "cannot remember" anything....which is usually a sign that it has been a while...or that all the higher ups have lost their memory with alzheimers or maybe that they played football in the early years...or maybe that they were in fact hired because they could not remember much, and promised to be faithful in not remembering.... Anyway...the bass fishermen were very firm this morning....they would create a "buffer zone" between themselves, the prayerful faithful, and their Church and remain outside of 5 miles from the Church and its collections till the issue was decided in the courts in St. Paul...and maybe longer...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

After Two Manhattens, General Seeks Wider War: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet....from my bass fishermen friends in Normal, Mn....who went to happy hour last Friday nite at a night club that will remain nameless...anyway...just after happy hour closed, which had been offering highballs on a two for one basis...a local retired General, who had been a legendary paratrooper in his younger years, stood up and announced to the crowd of elders surrounding him...that he was ready for a wider war...and would be seeking support among them....well...everybody cheered...as was usual after a bout of heavy drinking...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

City Adds to Parks despite having 30 Year Supply: Tales From Normal, MN: FICTION

Just got the note from the bass fishermen...the town elders from Normal, Mn. have just completed their five year park plan, which has noted that our dear city has enough parkland to last for the next 30 years at the current rate of development...and maybe even longer if things slow down....and in related news...they have disregarded their five year plan and gone ahead and added more parkland since developers wanted to get rid of some swampland rather than pay the city cash...how sweet is that...to be forward thinking and dream big for the next 100 years, or maybe 200 years and just think of those future wonderful citizens that will be paying for all these wonderful things we are doing today....

All the Busboys have Phd's in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn. FICTION

It's been pretty chilly up in Normal, Mn...that hotspot of bass fishing..and the guys, at least all of the regulars, over 60 yrs old mostly, all gathered last week during the rain and overcast weather...and they began to wonder....and wonder more...as they watched newscasts on the overhead black and white tv...that told of the current employment situation where students were so loaded up with student debt, when in fact most of the open jobs were in bar and restaurant wait jobs...so that in reality, most of the busboys that the fishermen knew had Phd's....They tried to think back...and ya the football players had a hard time in the remembering, but they relied on the others to help piece together the history.... Over the years from what they could remember, there were more and more jobs that required a college degree, and it became the fashion that folks pretty much understood that in order to get ahead, despite whatever the cost of the loans was, one simply had to click on the mouse and sign the electronic signature and get in debt...bigtime...it was a "Whatever it takes" moment....and the educated administrators of the colleges and universities kept saying that it was a wonderful investment...and they believed it since...well...they had never made any investments before...and they had not reached the age of "reason" yet, since the education had delayed it.. In the old days, there had been a universal belief in "lifelong education", which to the bass fishermen had meant that they could constantly learn new things about bass fishing and other hobbies and crafts that they had pursued...and home improvement had been a big part of it...now the phrase "Lifelong education" had switched to mean, lifelong indebtedness...the state of going to school forever, and because they had gradually begun to believe that knowledge that one acquired on ones own was worthless, they had totally bought into the idea that if you did not pay for it,,,,knowledge was pretty much worth zero...and the corollary...the more you paid for it...the more it was worth....and so they had forgot the old days in college when a whole room of furniture was pretty much available down on the street if one just searched a bit.... The guys were just a bit stunned in the review of this development....the term deja vu did not reflect their amazement at the state of affairs....

Friday, September 5, 2014

Fishermen worried that rising bait costs might ruin fishing: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

What an amazing morning...on the morning when all over America corporate pundits are worried sick that wages might rise and throw a wrench into the nirvana of the US economy...even though there has been no effective wage improvement for the average family for decades....still the fear is strong this morning....and at the same time...we get the tweet from the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn....having coffee at Betty Lou's coffee shop...that they are very worried that the local bait shop and the proprietor, Janet the bait woman, might raise bait costs and throw total chaos into the wonderful world of fishing...a world where it is really important to have fresh minnows to work with, and important to hook them properly so the hook keeps their mouth shut...but above all, cheap bait is the best... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The best "Invasions" occur when you are on "vacation.": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got back from a getaway to Normal, Mn for the Labor Day weekend...what a great time visiting with the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop right before we went out early to catch some bass...although I will admit we did have to fight lots of weeds since there appears to be an abundance of weed growth in the lakes up north...anyway...the guys were pretty amused to hear on the local news that the Russian military that invaded Ukraine and who got killed, were described in public reports from Russia as guys that were just on "vacation" or as guys who just wandered over the border by mistake....In a more cruel note...those Russian military guys could not wear their dog tags, so when they died, their heirs could not get military pensions...how wonderful is that to cut costs for the Fatherland.... For the guys..the moral is "when you are on vacation, go fishing...don't go to war.".

Monday, September 1, 2014

City Restricts Beer Floats to the first 500 Entries: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

What a thrill today to watch the Normal, Mn Labor Day Parade....it started early at 8am so that all the folks that had to hit the road to head back home could still enjoy the festivities...and to shorten the Parade, Normal, Mn. City Council ordered that there would be a strict limit to the first 500 beer floats...there has been such an enthusiasm for specialty brewing, and indeed in some cases bathtub brewing, that there has been more enthusiasm than the Parade could support....and so for all those who are trying to drive the long drive home....good luck...

Friday, August 29, 2014

What the World Needs is a Great Tank Battle as adjunct to a Humanitarian Mission: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen...who in their youth were mostly tank guys from Iraq....and they cannot wait till the Abrams tanks get to take on the Russian tanks in the Ukraine...of course this battle would be purely a military exercise and would of course have an associated humanitarian mission, consisting of last rites to the Russian tanks...and of course we could dedicate the battle to all the tank heroes from WWII from Janesville, Wisconsin....may they rest in peace.....stay tuned....Just think...the armed drones on top and the tanks below....what a combo....

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Americans Very Confident about 1.50% Growth: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.---they have been amusing about the newscasts this morning where consumer confidence is up since folks are very confident about the 1.5% growth in the economy forecasted for 2014...in fact they are so confident they are not buying much retail goods, and most certainly are not buying homes...and new home sales are down....and they have decided to buy overpriced small apartments that may someday look like hotel rooms in Japan...anyway....how sweet it all is....like the rose and the thorn...but mostly thorns....

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Russians decide to drink all of their Vodka themselves: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn...and they all have been watching the world news this morning...and as they sat around the black and white tv at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where the coffee is the latest, but everything else is very vintage...to a man they came to the same conclusion after hearing about the chaos in the Ukraine and Russia...it is clear that the Russians have decided to drink all of their vodka...their behavior proves it...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Priceless Heritage found in cave in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...via tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, who have taken the rainy morning off and are holed up at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop..where all the coffee is double strong..and the whipped cream is no extra charge....it seems that this past weekend some young boys were exploring in the caves around Normal, Mn., and they discovered on one wall something pretty unusual...and in a moment they were thunderstruck because it just proved that hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago...humans were here and well..they were our ancient heritage...they saw the words carved out that we see all over the world today from humans of the highest order....." We need more and better weapons."

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

All the Lakes in Normal, Mn. are filled with sewage: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen...seems it is a classic story...the town had wanted to be so historic..being in the land of 10,000 lakes...and some of the outlying farms surrounding the fishing areas of Normal, Mn had wanted to feel touristy too...so they got the bulldozers out...created some artificial lakes...and planted some attractive trees around the ponds...all went well for a short time...seemed like a picture out of a Norman Rockwell painting...but ya cannot smell a Norman Rockwell painting...and soon the manure from all the surrounding farms gradually seeped into the ponds...and thus...all around Normal, Mn. there are ponds that...if you have nose plugs on...look like a perfect painting...sweet....

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

So Russia May ban Bourbon imports? Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---and they were stunned this morning to hear that not only is Russia going to hassle McDonalds since there is fat in their products, but may ban American bourbon....the "Gentleman's bourbon" made in Kentucky....the bass fishermen were amused by the speculation that was rampant that the next thing would be for the Russians to keep all their vodka for themselves...it might shorten their lifespan further, but then...anything to further the trade sanctions....to a man, they all hoped that we could export cheap wine coolers since no self respecting fisherman liked them anyway...and also those cheap flavored vodka brands...the choice is only to export or to give the stuff away...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Publishers Scramble to remove lies from books: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's---wild celebrations this morning with free coffee for all as they celebrated the legal victory of Jesse "the body" Ventura in his lawsuit for defamation....and in a postscript, the publisher of the book, HarperCollins is removing the chapter of the book in question...and all over New York this morning, and yes in Wisconsin too, publishers, who are people, cause corporations are people under the Constitution now---publishers are rushing to review their books to see whether they can paste over the lies, or maybe just remove the books from publication...and in related news, the Normal Minnesota Library announced today that they have removed 500 books from circulation...and they were non-fiction...they kept all the light romance novels...which are the most popular requests in the frozen tundra...and all over America online book publishers are wondering where to begin....their first thought is to just publish fiction....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What Putin Learned from HW Bush: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's coffee shop...seems that the guys spent some time this morning sipping strong coffee since the weather was foggy....they thought back to the time when HW Bush, faced with the Vincennes case, said it did not matter what the facts were...he would never admit that the USA was wrong....and they reflected that it appears that Putin is following the distinguished lead of HW Bush....and oh yes...Stalin...in forming his conduct...stay tuned....

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Train and Bus use skyrocket as Plane crashes average 1 per day over last week; Tales From Normal,MN; FICTION

The bass fishermen have spoken...they only want to fly on airplanes that have "defensive measures" and will only take buses and trains till they see changes...so they are fishing local...and they love it....why fly to the Ukraine when you can fish locally...stay tuned.

Cars rented as Exclusive minimulist housing emerging across America: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a simple parking ticket recently that was dismissed by the local authorities has sent shock waves across America....a bass fisherman who was residing in a truck and camper setup was absolved of any penalty when he revealed that this was not just a car, but an exclusive minimulist apartment that,,,if rented to a stranger for what would go as "fair value" in Minnesota, would be about $1000 per month....the court agreed quickly and described the man...not as a transient..but as a new age hipster that was creating new horizons for America...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Normal, Mn Airport Bans Flights to Russia: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

"Blue Sky Airport", the local airport just outside of Normal, Mn., boldly announced on Tuesday that they would be banning all flights to Russia due to the high risks involved....as the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop noted this morning, this was pretty much a ceremonial gesture...since all the planes at "Blue Sky" are just single engine Piper planes, and there is really no control tower, and pretty much the pilots do what they want...still...it was a bold move, and it captured the imagination of all the flying public, which just wish all airports across the nation could be like..."Normal."

Students in Justice degree program seek justice;;allege misrepresentation of prospects: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got tweet from the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's in Normal, Mn---seems there was a vigorous discussion this morning about the students at Globe Business College that have alleged that after spending considerable money, debt mostly, to attain a degree from the institution, they cannot even use this degree in Minnesota...and their prospects were widly misrepresented.....the article the bass fishermen read suggested that the case might have wider implications....so the bass fishermen just let their minds wander about what the broader implications might be....maybe even marriage would not be possible under the current state of affairs if a full and fair representation of what the risks entailed were not signed off on...but the bass fishermen after reflection felt that this was being handled by the reluctance of men to marry....they have already signed off on the risk by aversion to marriage...but then what about other misrepesentations....lets see...you can insert a few here......enjoy.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Hospital in Normal, Mn endorses "Self-Care": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the 24 yr. old single hospital administrator of Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Hospital in Normal, Mn....and acute care hospital of 35 beds in addition to an attached extended care facility... The hospital administrator announced that because of the recent emphasis on cost saving, the hospital would be placing more emphasis on "self-care" and how to not admit patients to acute care by providing them with with alternatives...like living at their own home under heavy medication and other possibilities...and the hospital also announced converting half of the current patient rooms into executive suites for hospital employees who were very busy with lots of paperwork...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

"Bear" Traders on Wall Street Angry that "dumb" investors are still buying stocks: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The Wall Street trading rooms look like vacant caverns like the salt caves in St.Paul...ya where the mob during the 1930's hung out.....bear traders in hedge firms have been pretty wrong...some are still hanging on after they called for the big short when the Standard and Poors was at 1640.....most have capitulated....so they are angry...and broke...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fall Comes to Normal, MN.; Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Temps dipped today in the frozen tundra, and locals began the precious ritual of looking for their winter snow gear which they had just packed on the landing to the basement just a couple of months ago...after all ---it is July 15, and it is the time to begin the preparation for ice fishing....

Special Prison proposed just for Illinois government officials: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Story still in development...talking to authorized sources...stay tuned.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

"Underwater" Rich Trash the "Underwater" Poor: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just heard the news...quite a disturbance yesterday morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, MN., where all the bass fishermen gather each morning to chat before they launch their boats...seems that one of the wealthiest men in Normal stopped in to have coffee, and after a couple strong ones, with the whipped cream, started to rant about how all the problems of America were due to the poor not paying their own way....all the fishermen just paused and smiled...to a man they knew that the rich guy had just lost his large home due to foreclosure...he had bought at the peak of 2003....and his investment had been cut in half in value.... So....with the silent response...the rich guy understood...they all knew...it was not the poor he hated but himself...and he left the coffee shop quietly....

Fishermen Celebrate Jesse "the body" Ventura--the Truth Matters: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's this morning...they are all waiting for more news on the trial in St. Paul where former governor Jesse Ventura is suing for libel...and to a man all the fishermen are rooting for him...they observed that in the world today, where all news is half fiction, half fact, and it is hard to know which is which...it is high time that authors are held to factual accuracy....the case in St. Paul which is in progress right now, can make a difference in a world where publishing has degenerated to mostly "lies" whether it is in politics, investment, religion...(you fill in your suggestion here.) Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Give Away Everything you have....so you can buy more: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---who were watching the news on tv at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, and the segment on "Cleaning the clutter"...a special ten part series on how to get rid of...well...almost everything in order to achieve the inner peace of perfect organization... To a man they just laughed..."The purpose of giving it all away is to get "the new"....that is the way it always has been...the purpose of giving is either the tax deduction, or a veiled strategy of convincing the spouse of getting new stuff to fill the embarassing vacant space...thus it was never about love or gift giving, but just more greed..... yes...its been raining for days and the bass fishermen are a bit down...they will liven up when the sun gets back up...stay tuned...

Monday, July 7, 2014

High Water Brings Peace to Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. who have been sipping coffee for days as they have waited patiently for the water to go down so they could go back to some serious fishing...the recent high water, low wake situations where only sail boats and pontoons have been usable has crippled the entire prosperity of normal, Mn., but it has brought wonderful bliss to the regular citizens who have been given some peace from the usual noise of boating, and also a break from the regular drunkeness of visitors who have stayed away due to the poor fishing conditions....Now the fishermen just get up at sunrise to watch the sunrise...nice...

All Kardashian network launched in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.....seems some of the men have become confused by the intermixing of fact and fiction in their computer browsers, whereas right next to a major story of war and woe is the story of the latest escapade of the Kardashians....so the guys...after a couple strong coffee with the whipped cream at no extra charge, have come up with the idea of a 24 hour tv network, and a computer site as well that is totally dedicated to the latest bare breasted shot of the Kardashians...that way, the news can go back to the days when the facts and the fiction were in different sections...whereas today they are back to back...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Employers hope that lowering wages will increase hiring: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...that local employers were very pleased with the some 280000 jobs created in June 2014, and they hoped to create even more jobs in the coming months by reducing the effective wages of current employees by moving them to "On call" or hour to hour employees that could be sent home in cases of slower traffic of business, which was becoming a reality as customers were getting more and more dissatisfied with poor service caused by demoralized staff...still the upside is that all those temp workers caused the national numbers to skyrocket and thus it created the appearance of economic growth...nice....

Cities held liable for Hearing Loss from Fireworks: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Cities all across the frozen tundra were alarmed yesterday when the appelate court ruled that cities that sponsored loud music events and fireworks for the fourth of July could be held liable for hearing loss of the spectators...the court noted in an extensive opinion that just a casual review of recent events made clear that the music could only be heard clearly from six blocks away due to the extreme loudness that must be deliberate to hide the poor quality of the musicians....and the court also noted that over the years the tradition of fireworks has blossomed into a loud extravaganza that clearly went along with hearing loss events of the viewers....all cities and towns were notified to make sure that their municipal liability policies had clauses to include the liability exposure....

Currency Stabliizes at Zero....Janet Pleased; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

"Janet", the legendary wait person at the Normal, Mn Bait Store, where they sell only fresh bait and lures, spoke quietly to a bass fisherman this morning, as she was packaging up some fresh bait...."I am so pleased that the currency in the US has stabilized, even if it is now valued at ZERO....and I also know that it takes 20 to 30 years from a major depression event for the economy to recover, and surely the current seniors will stop complaining about the low yields on their lifetime savings, once they have died...a serious saver who has been very frugal and saved 5 million dollars, will have an income of $50,000 and it will be a tough retirement but who knows about the unfortunate ones that have saved less..." Stay tuned as I follow the musing of Janet the bait wait.....

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Unpaid Volunteer Job Numbers Skyrocket Higher...Wall Street Happy: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the unpaid jobs number has skyrocketed higher...and the dogshxxx jobs category has skyrocketed higher too...and Wall Street has responded by moving higher in pleasure....a brief moment of predator bliss...stay tuned.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Foreign Nation decides to fly armed drones in USA to protect its foreign exchange students:

Just got the tweet...seems that foreign countries are pretty impressed with the action of the USA to fly drones over Iraq to protect the 75 or so US soldiers on the ground...so the foreign nations are beginning to fly armed drones over the USA to protect their interests and of course also the foreign exchange students studying here...after all they want to imitate the actions of our great country to show how good learners they have become....stay tuned.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Politicians promise to mend all wrongs, return to golden age: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet..seems that the politicians from the frozen tundra have promised, if elected, to repair all the wrongs, replace all the lost income in the past seven years, turn water into wine, and still have wonderful economic development and jobs for everyone....nice...

Church Leader cuts off Mob: Local bishops are silent...still hoping for contributions: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a courageous church leader has called out the Mob for their criminal activity and cut them off from the Church...and the individual faithful, the regular church goers on a daily basis have cheered...the local parish priests have also cheered but their superiors, the bishops have just stayed clam faced and are still hoping for some donations to come their way...stay tuned...

Conservative Politicians decide to Sue Everybody: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the head of the Conservative politicians of Washington, DC has announced that in frustration with not getting his way, he plans on suing all branches of government and all elected officials for not doing their duty to follow his instructions and vote as he has indicated....I would think since all the defendants are lawyers anyway, they will get the message that he is conveying...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, June 23, 2014

Retail and Home Sales Plunge---folks optimistic: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it is the home selling time of the year and yet home sales are down...and retail sales are down too...but...the pundits are still smiley faced...gun sales are up....nice.

Friday, June 20, 2014

City of 500 Celebrates 5000 page municipal code: Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the tweet....the entire city of Normal, Mn. is celebrating next weekend....and they call it "Municipal Code Days"----even though Normal, Mn is a city of only 500 that remain year round, they tout a municipal code that totals 5000 pages, and normally there are two Harvard lawyers that are available on Skype that can help in the interpretation of it....Yes there has been no growth for the past 30 years...but still...the Code is something to be proud of...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Politicians and TV Personalities sought to be "boots on the ground" in Iraq: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...and after a long day of coffee and political talk by the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, they have reached a consensus that if all the TV political personalities and in fact all the politicians themselves would volunteer to be "boots on the ground" in Iraq...two very special things would result...we would have some peace here at home, and they would find some peace there...stay tuned..

Distinguished Church seeks alzheimer candidates for Leadership Opportunity: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....seems that the Church of The Perpetual Fisherman is seeking new applicants for their church leadership, and because they want to begin again, they felt that the candidates with the "cleanest slate" would be those with alzheimer's disease...or at least those who pledge to not remember anything that they are not supposed to remember...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, June 13, 2014

"We're all car dealers now." Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the boys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn---seems that to a man this morning at coffee they all admitted that "we are all car dealers now."...in that every where you go, you hear the buzz,,,"well this item is very expensive, but you can lease it now for a monthly amount of $24...and with that comes the warranty that this is not a defective product, and that you will be satisfied...and the lease goes for 36 months unless you die, in which it is terminated....Whether it is cars, phones, appliances ...whatever....it just made me think....maybe I could lease my old 1996 Toyota Camry with 200000 miles on it...it might be too much for you to buy for cash, but you could lease it for 36 months....and the more I went over the sizzle of the sales presentation...the more I began to like the idea...stay tuned....

Friday, June 6, 2014

Excited to Exchange High Pay for Temp Work: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning---seems Wall Street is pretty excited about the job numbers...they are up...because the folks that had lost their high paying jobs are now getting the opportunity to work temp jobs...and the number folks make NO distinction between the two sets of numbers...one has to wonder about that..I wonder if they are still working on an abacus...stay tuned...the bass fishermen just rolled their eyes when they listened to the news of the financial world...they knew better...they knew about the "bait and baloney spin." as they called it...

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Financial Heavy Weights Summit will have keynote "Dance of the Money Changers" Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet...tomorrow at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.,,,at a much heralded meeting of the very pinnacle of financial types from all over the world, who are bass fishing all day, but before that will conduct the urgent business of making serious comments about fiscal policy...well at this meeting, where form and tone is far more important that substance...and in fact this has been the dirty little secret about high level financial types the world over...at the very beginning...before even the introductions of the symposium speakers, there will be a short dance of the money changers...yes it looks like just a Hawaiian dance, but to some financial types it can have a deeper meaning...and well..we will just see what the stock market does with this ominous dance that will occur just before the markets open in New York on Thursday...stay tuned....no live video will be allowed, but I will do my best to convey the nuances of the dance....

Hedge Firm says "Losing" is the key learning Technique: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A hedge fund guru that was up in Normal, Mn. bass fishing last week sat down with the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop...he explained to the fully caffeinated group that losing money was the principal way that regular investors learned...and this really worked well.... since his hedge fund was short most stocks...when investors invested their hard earned cash and lost money, they learned, and at the same time the short hedge funds made tons of money...so a win-win....How sweet.... The guys just smiled...to a man they had given up the intangible investments years ago, and now preferred to invest in bait and gas for their boats...and ya...maybe a pontoon boat for the very successful type....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Cities claim "Cheaper Beer" could get our economy moving again: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from Normal, Mn. where the preparations are underway for the fourth of July ....and this year no stone is being left unturned to ensure that the locals will NOT run out of beer, and more importantly...cheap beer for the holidays...local police are bulking up on "warning" tickets, and smiley faces...and all over the Midwest folks are getting ready for the celebration that is the pinnacle of events for the year.

Everyone Leaving for Seattle: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...seems all buses and trains and planes are filled as citizens from Normal, Mn...and in fact the entire Midwest are leaving for Seattle...where they have passed a $15 minimum wage law....citizens are literally voting with their feet....

Folks buying Bigger Homes to fill them with...cobwebs: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the local fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. are talking this morning about the national news media story that the average new home is even bigger than in the past...because folks are demanding that it be so...and the assumption is that folks with cash want to fill these homes with more and more amenities...and furniture...because they are not filling them with kids....stay tuned....Realtors are silent as to whether any small homes are in demand..

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Some Concerned that Illegal Voting will be Curtailed: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the local progressive political action committee, which meets every six months in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....and yesterday, in a short meeting, Louise, the chairperson, noted that with the decline in voting participation in Normal, Mn, which some have said approaches zero, there is a danger that if there is any curtailment or discouragement of illegals voting, there will be no votes to count period....and that the reputation of Normal, Mn. as a sound civic community might be in peril....one person in attendance did note that if there was better transportation options for the residents of the Our Lady of the Perpetual Fisherman Nursing Home this might increase the voting, with the warning that all of these residents needed to have their identification and proper documentation.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

"Le P" and "Le PP" open their doors in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal: FICTION

Today the citizens of Normal, Mn. were all abuzz as two historically accurate outhouses, one for men and the other for women were opened in the Normal, Mn. downtown..."Le P" and "Le PP" ...for the technical types, these were "one holers" not "two holers"...they are decorated in classic French decor....pretty unusual here but they go with the new French Bakery launched recently, and also with the new French breakfast spot, which specializes in crepes....all in all this is pretty unusual since this is a historically German community with some English mixed in, with a strong history of preferring beer, brats and beef, in that order...but many of the upstanding citizens hope that visitors from afar will be tempted to come to the community to see the wonderful French culture, and use the French outhouses and be uplifted....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Talking Heads" excited about retail "sentiment" while actual sales Dismal: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Normal, Mn. Chamber of Commerce...where every Monday noon they meet the first of every month to chat about commerce....and this morning they were very pleased to note that the "sentiment" numbers from some study nationally indicates that normal folks are very positive about the idea of buying something...even though they are unable to do so, and have been unable to do so for many years now...they have a burning desire to buy something as soon as the economy turns around, and to a person, they hope this happens before they die...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

"Everyone Agreed--Interest Rates Would Go UP": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. are in the midst of one of their retrospective coffee days---when they bring in all the old newspapers they can find from the past year and compare what the pundits SAID versus what REALLY happened....and they were all smiles when they concluded that all the economists, all the politicians, and all the stock market pundits on CNBC said that it was surely inevitable that interest rates would go up--in fact they have gone down....how nice is that...when every suit is WRONG...savor it.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"Build it and they will come": Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that the economic development department of Normal, Mn. decided to allow the building of a spanking new hotel in Normal, Mn., anticipating that if they built it....customers would come...Pretty convenient that the law office that incorporated the new hotel is just kiddy korner to it....and last week, with the 75 rooms having been vacant for almost a year, the hotelkeeper just went back across the street and filed bankruptcy...and the locals are now wondering about "Build it and they will come."....wondering whether it maybe just applies to baseball in Iowa...stay tuned.

"Car Buyers are still excited about buying defective cars": Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they were sipping their coffee this morning and just were amazed by the story all over the television news...that Americans have heard all about the recalls of defective cars, about the deaths from at least one of the defects...but to a person...according to the news, they are still excited about buying defective cars....speaking of the power of defective thinking...stay tuned

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

"Half of All Brat Purchases are INVALID": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...seems that the CEO of "Alleluia Brats" that is conducting a truly inspirational bratfest this weekend in Normal, Mn. stated that over half of all brat purchases across this fine country are INVALID...and he asserted that the only VALID brat is one that has the name "ALLELUIA" on it....and that a purchase of the Alleluia brat brings all the special add on benefits that distinguish it, and that these brats are available for sale this weekend only in Normal, Mn....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Best of the Best" Graduates are feeling not so good after Party: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn--where all the fishermen this morning have been speculating as to why in the world colleges would schedule commencement and "move out" in the same day...the guys seemed to think that maybe the "move out" on the same day was an attempt to curtail the party mode a bit, but it does appear that still the police are poised at the edge of town to give the students one final ticket as they leave town...a bit of the thorn with the rose as it were.

"Alleluia Bratfest" Comes to Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn : FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---seems that a bratfest was looking for a home, and decided to rename itself "The Alleluia Bratfest" and come to Normal, Mn. for a unique weekend fundraising event...yes I know...the company that had sponsored this event in many localities across the Midwest had been a radical conservative group that progressives everywhere had detested...but now...who can not love a grease laden brat when it has the cache of "Alleluia Brat" and the consumption of which seems to imply the destiny of eternal bliss...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

"450 New Craft Beers---NO new jobs": Tales From Normal, MN: FICTION

Just got the tweet---from the economic development committee of Normal, Mn.---local pubs in Normal, Mn have added 450 new craft beers....but there are NO new jobs to report in this community....and this seems to be the norm in America...stay tuned.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Watching the Graduation on my Iphone: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Today is graduation day in Normal, Mn....and in talking over the day of honor and ceremony, all the bass fishermen commented that over the years, the ceremony has blossomed from a one hour walk across the stage, to a four hour to six hour marathon....and only one guy had the answer...seems that some institutions are offering an option for the parents to watch the graduation via their iphone....and for an extra fee, you can also watch the after graduation parties at local pubs...this 6 hour video is well worth the extra fee....and if the video seems a bit slurred in the audio...relax...it is not the camera...stay tuned.

"Beware of Elevator Video": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn...where it has been snowing a little, cause in Minnesota it is never too late to have a snowstorm in May....over coffee, the guys were trying to understand the recent celebrity incident where several members of a family were caught on elevator video fighting, but thank goodness their bodyguard separated them....they had to smile, cause in Normal, Mn where there are no elevators, still...all the bodyguards are mostly to prevent or stop family matters...make a note of it.

Monday, May 12, 2014

When Polling Booths Tote AK 47s: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn. who meet for coffee at Betty Lou's have suggested that it might be wise, when considering a polling booth, to choose the one with the adult male standing beside it with the AK 47......that is the message coming out of the Ukraine today....and by the way, the results are like an old time comedy stand up show, where the tolling results are just made up...and the numbers do not matter...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Warren Buffett is Done....Lacks Guts: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....who every morning meet at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop to share double strong coffee with no extra charge whipped cream...and today they were in absolute agreement...something pretty rare here...that Warren Buffett is "done", "History" a hasben.....he has said that compensation for KO executives was excessive but failed to vote accorindingly...and in interviews seems to suggest that he was afraid to hurt their feelings...this was open to derision from the bass fishermen here in Normal, Mn...no guts no glory...go ahead and resign Warren...your press clippings cannot carry you...

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Seniors tell Florida governor that he is full of it: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just heard the news today that the governor of Florida had a listening session during which he hoped that the seniors present would "listen" as he told them the terrible consequences of "Obamacare." However...the seniors interrupted him and informed the governor that they were very pleased with the new care program, and took no offense to any supposed reduction to Medicare and that they felt they lived in the United States of America not the States for Seniors only....bravo...well done...it seems the Florida governor was surprised...

Unemployed not worried about "High Wage Inflation": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...senior fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop were pretty amused today as they heard testimony that certain Federal Reserve members were deeply concerned about "high wage inflation"....none of the fishermen was concerned at all...they had been unemployed for so long they could not remember a wage raise much less inflation of wages...they could not believe that folks actually got paid to be amused with concepts such as this and besides to go on tv and talk about it....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, April 25, 2014

300 Nations consider holding "military" exercises in Ukraine: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...one of the tweeters that wanted to remain nameless, indicated that rather than call the military exercises a "world war" they chose to term them "exercises" or just "arm flexing" or maybe "bullying".. The unspokesman said that "exercises" sounded so much like "fitness" and "health" that it was chosen...He promised to update the world on the number of deaths...stay tuned...

Over 5000 Hospitals say they are the "Top" Heart Hospital in USA: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---seems one of the guys, after an extra strong cup of coffee and triple sugar this morning, felt some chest pain...and felt he might need to go to a hospital to have it checked...but then crisis...which hospital...he wanted to go to a "top" heart hospital, and he searched it on his hand held smart phone, and came up with 5000 hospitals...it is so hard to know what "top" is these days....stay tuned as I update his outcome....

Monday, April 21, 2014

"Selfes need to know More about self": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop....the guys have been discussing this morning why it would be that if all their kids post everything that comes to their minds on facebook, and snap every possible picture of their lives...that it would be necessary for a watch to record every minute they sleep and every calorie they burn...the guys were pretty speechless...one guy just said: "I guess I'm not that into myself." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

"Making Life worth Living" highlighted: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Representatives from the Normal, Mn. wine and liquor association announced last Friday that life without beef, beer, cheese, wine and spirits, would not be worth living....Stay tuned as I follow up on what their life essence consists of....

School Schedules "Communications Meeting" when noone can attend: Tales From Normal, Mn. :FICTION

The Normal, Mn. School Board announced on Saturday Morning that they are holding a "Communications Meeting" to discuss improving communication with residents, and are holding it on Monday at 1PM...just so no parents or care givers could attend...how nice is that? Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Fed Chief Says Speeches would be shorter if economy "Obeyed" Tales From Normal, Mn.: Fiction

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong...and the whipped cream is no extra charge...the boys were all abuzz this morn about the speech of Janet Yellen in which she said: "“If the economy obediently followed our forecasts, the job of central bankers would be a lot easier and their speeches would be a lot shorter,” Yellen said. “Alas, the economy is often not so compliant.” The guys just loved it...One guy said: "The purpose of all the announcements is to promote confusion, not clarity...and the real problem is that economics folks just don't have the ability to be unwordy." Stay tuned...we will see how wordy Janet Yellen gets...

Both Women and Men are Too Important to Cook: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....it is rainey today, and they had a little extra time to talk things over...and they started talking about breakfast...what they eat...who cooks it...and lunch...and dinner...and All the guys said they were too important with all the fishing and such..to cook..and they simply ate out...for pretty much everything..one guy...the chunkiest of all said that it was because his wife made coffee so much better than himself..he let her make that... And the guys said that most of their spouses were women of the 60's, who were children of the older set, the women of the 40's and 50's who celebrated when the Jiffy cake mix was introduced...and all had homes with very small kitchens...since any women of dignity did not cook...and always went to the deli for everything...and to get to the bottom line...self esteem itself was grounded on NOT cooking... So there it is...both men and women too important to cook...and everyone is wondering where obesity came from...nice...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Parents Disappointed they were $250,000 short: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this afternoon...from the support group in Normal, Mn...."Parents who did not have $250,000 for each child to attend college"....lots of standing room only at this meeting...seems that even if parents had saved every dime they had made since birth, they would have been unable to meet the expectations of our society to attain a college education for each of their children...and this dollar figure did not include full season football passes to their college team or Rose Bowl transportation and tickets...all in all there was a whole lot of hand wringing goin on...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sedentary Workers Urged to "Be More Active": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from some loyal workers at the Normal Widget Factory in Normal, Mn.---seems they got a memo from their health insurance company that urged them to "be more active" in their call center and manufacturing jobs....and included some ideas in the memo such as walking in place even if they had to stay behind their desks, parking at the edge of the parking lot to walk a few steps farther, and using the steps rather than the elevator, even though they are prohibited from using the upper floors in the facility....and the memo went on to say that their basic health coverage was being cut with respect to prescriptions and that management hoped that a little more activity on the employees part would compensate them for the lack of coverage...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

All the Kids are Gifted in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Recently the Normal, Mn School Board met in private session and agreed that from now on, all the kids in the school system would be considered gifted....after making that decision, they considered the consequences....presto...a lot of money would be saved that could go to buy new football uniforms...so a win all around...a real team effort. Many years ago, like from 1960 to 1990 "gifted learners" had been "accelerated" which means that if they tested as having the knowledge and skills of a older grade, they were allowed to graduate early...One of my aunts, Janeth, graduated from high school at the age of 16, and then had the pleasure of working in the family business till she was 18, and then in 1929 went off to college...and yes...came back home after the crash... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

NCAA win for Wisconsin shocks Porta Pottie, Beer, Sales : Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. who were chuckling last night at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop...and wondering how the tens of thousands of fans who were celebrating and drinking beer big time were doing with just two or three open rest rooms on State Street in Madison....clearly the porta pottie planning deficiency led to a very restrained situation that could have gotten out of hand...but just think...even though Lacrosse had won the recent most beer consumed in America award for colleges, the UW after last night's celebration has made a real race of the contest...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Advisors suggest delaying retirement till after death: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the bass fishermen hang out each morning...it seems that there was a seminar at the "Billy Bob Financial Planning Service" in Normal, Mn., and the senior partner....well he was just 21, suggested that the way to ensure a guaranteed retirement was to delay it till death......that way the numbers would work out..stay tuned as I follow this story....

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Seniors excited about war...ready to enlist: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got back from a data gathering trip in florida...was stunned to hear from all the veterans...they are ready to launch...they want war...and I have encouraged them to enlist..nothing could be better than all the veterans in Southern Florida from launching on an expedition to the Crimea....there was some concern that they might not pass the physical...but I stood tall and asked that the stipulations be suspended..I knew...these guys needed a war...stay tuned....

Monday, March 10, 2014

Beef Prices Skyrocket....Panic sets in...Fear of Healthy Life Rises: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that the recent drought nationwide has caused a severe increase in the cost of beef...and folks are trying to come to grips with the consequences...they will be living longer...with less heart disease...and they will be less obese...and in the review...they have mixed feelings....a short chunky life had seemed kinda attractive...but still...they are reviewing what a thin healthy life might mean...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Beer Commission to be formed...to promote beer: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

A proposal has been presented to form a Beer Commission for the state that would aim to make beer production even better and more effective for all citizens...and though it is too late for the present legislative session for this measure to be passed, it is hoped that with intense drinking for the next year in the promotional effort, every legislator will be ready to stand and vote yes in the next legislature....rather than have beer production just one of the industries of this great state, it is hoped to make it the major focus of all residents and maybe even the reason for life itself...

Seminar Held to Explain Daylight Saving Time: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the news...there is a special one hour seminar at the Blue Goose Motel in Normal, Mn on Monday at 1PM to review Daylight Saving Time...there has been some confusion of Spring Forward and Fall Backward as the way to remember how to set the time...in addition, there will be an explanation of what saving there is in the daylight saving change...of how changing your clock makes you more productive, saves energy, and such...many folks have been falling backward lately and that has produced some confusion...

Is Twitter Overvalued? Bass Fishermen debate: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wow...just got a tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's...seems yesterday morning a younger guy was raving about how he uses twitter for almost everything...news..info..etc...and the older guys..ya I suppose some bond investors among them, just smiled...and patiently waited till he was done with the rant.....then finally one old, bearded guy spoke up..."Here is a little perspective for you guys...Twitter is currently selling in stock price at 3196 times earnings...In personal terms, let's suppose that you earned $100,000 per year....if YOU were valued like Twitter, then you would be worth $319,000,000. I will leave it up to you...do you think that may be a little overvaluation?

Saturday, March 8, 2014

What Crimea and Russia learned from Wis about the Open Meeting Law: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet about the meeting that the legislators had in the Crimea---it was a closed meeting, because they were all honest men...nice...I wonder if they had guns but no cameras allowed...It sounds similar to the situation in Madison, Wisconsin...I just wonder if they have been learning from the dairy state...hum .

Indicted Bank has special stock pick for investors: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet, forwarded to me by an old codger bass fisherman from up in Normal, Mn..seems he was spending the weekend up at the Loose Goose Lodge, that's the one with the single king pull down bed, and the deer hung up on the walls, and where each pillow has a mini dove bar under the pillow...anyway...he said that they all got an email solicitation from a national bank that has recently signed a consent order for fraud violations, and...well...it seems they only took a brief 24 hours off for a time out before issuing their latest buy recommendation for stocks..how nice is that.

"Abstain from Russian Vodka for Lent": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

The weather is getting better up in the frozen tundra, and the guys were pretty excited at coffee to go over their plans for the coming fishing season...and when they were reminded that this was the Lentan season, they paused for a moment, and said: "Let's ALL abstain from Russian Vodka." I never realized those guys were so religious...and I suppose the Russian vodka was never the best anyway, but still, it is nice to know that even up in the tundra, guys know what is right..

Friday, March 7, 2014

"Let Everybody Rent" is the new Banking Formula: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got an automated message from the online bank in Normal, Mn, where all the physical banks have closed, and only web based banks have remained...and they explained that no further mortgages for consumers were planned for 2014 since the bank had decided to adopt a new "Magic Formula" which consisted of selling all foreclosed homes to corporate predators, and then having those folks just rent to everybody else...that way, there would be no closing documents to dispute, and no fraud could be alledged, and besides, cash in envelopes solves a lot of legal problems...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fishermen honored to buy "French Propane.": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet....the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn. have indicated they are indeed honored to learn that the propane they have recently purchased to prevent them from freezing to death on the frozen tundra was in fact imported from France...it seems that there are some transportation restrictions preventing delivery of propane from the southern states...and to a man, they were pleased to pay the very high rates, and besides were honored to buy anything "French" because it gave them a sense of fashion, and besides they never could find any French Poupon mustard in the stores of the tundra, so "propane" was a nice substitute....

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Stock Market Pundit says Sky High Market headed to the Moon: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet from the founder of "Mostly Mad Money"...and he said tonight in a special exclusive broadcast, that the stock market certainly has been going skyhigh lately, but to be not concerned about whether it is probable that this could go on indefinitely, since certainly it will go to the moon...he did not specify how high this was, and in truth, it did seem that he might have been drinking a bit....stay tuned.

Hundreds of Naval vessels headed for "routine exercises": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

All the bass fishermen are a buzz this morning since many of them have been notified of the necessity to participate in "routine naval exercises" in a foreign territory, and must leave as soon as possible...seems that bass fishermen all over the world are headed by separate boats and naval vessels for a huge military exercise...nice....

Legislators seek "living wage" but no increase: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....seems that a distinguished legislator from Minnesota stopped in to Betty Lou's and mentioned that he was all for a "living wage" as long as it was no higher than present...he was all for thinking "out of the box" as long as it was "inside the box"...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Dictator always invades to "Protect and Serve".: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from Jimmie the "Dictator" Johnson, the local administrator from that small lazy fishing town, Normal, Mn. in northern Minnesota...and he said that he totally understood the predicament of the Ukraine....and that in his professional experience, when invading another entity, he always thinks of "protecting and serving" his victims...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Demand surges for 400 sq ft apartments: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the guys from Normal, Mn., having coffee at Betty Lou's were just stunned that in Minneapolis there is a buying panic for apartments that have 400 sq ft or less, and for the youngins, who see these as attractive, the prices are going for as much at $1200 per month....the old bass fishermen were just trying to imagine how this could compute..with all their fishing gear an all....so little room left to sleep...

Friday, February 28, 2014

There's Only Bars and Shakes in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's in Normal, Mn....seems the guys were talking this morning about food..one of their dear subjects...and to a man nobody cooked....and nobody shopped for food either....they all consulted together and they all observed that they were all chunky, in weight control programs, and only ate bars and shakes...and ya had a refreshing cheap beer once in a while....They had to admit they never even had any cooking utinsels, unless you counted a bottle opener....stay tuned as I follow this story.

80 yr old conservative investor seeks long term stocks for investment: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just saw the ad in the Normal, Mn Fish Times...seems a older fisherman is looking for some long term conservative stuff...is that optimism or what....

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Corporations that pay NO taxes seek to pay less: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....it seems that some heavy hitting corporate types stopped in for coffee at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and they simply said that even though they paid NO corporate income taxes...still they wanted to pay less...maybe an additional tax credit would be good....and they said that they were encouraged now that Delta has announced that it has changed the sky miles to reward those in the 1% that pay more, that the trend has been set that those who are the heavy hitters, should always pay less taxes than anybody else..and never be ashamed of it...stay tuned as I follow this story.

School seeks Easy Core Curriculum, not Hardcore: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the guys at the local school board meeting sought to clarify their objectives and wanted to let everybody know that they would never seek anything hardcore...only soft curriculum....

New Fire Station Planned: Lack of Fires Cited; Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...last night at the Fishermans Fire Station in Normal, Mn, the guys were talking about how maybe since they had a little time due to the frigid weather, they might as well dream of building a 4 million dollar fire station...and as they brain stormed the idea, the main selling point was that their efforts over the past five years had really been worthwile since there had been no fires...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Nat Gas Futures Plunge as Cold Wave Hits Midwest....nice: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Seems that in honor of Enron Appreciation Week, nat gas futures that were above $6.00 plunged to $5.00 in frenzied trading recently...America that is a wash of fracking and plenty of nat gas, had a frenzy up and then down as traders went wild....this all seemed to be happening right after the Wolf of Wall Street movie had finished it's run in the theatres...thank goodness that in the best of all worlds, as we are in, of course, because of the plenty of supply, the prices just keep rising....how good is that to enjoy....

Middle Class are urged to stop burning their furniture and apply for heating aid: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....seems the middle class fishermen from Normal, Mn. just do not know how to apply for assistance in the form of a loan to pay for their skyrocketing propane heating bills...hey just listen up and apply for a low cost 5 year loan..and maybe the costs will be lower this summer...maybe...the loan apps will be easier next year...

Home Sales Surge but Mortgages Decline: nice: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---housing sales are surging, but not so mortgages written....seems folks are paying cash...interesting...not human folks of course...but corporate folks that are now "persons" just like regular folk....all the mortgage bankers are being laid off, and all the slum landlords are charging very high rates for very small spaces...and just trying to live up to the role model of the robber barrons of the 19th centure....stay tuned as I follow the story.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

"These Boots Are Made for Walking" named Minnesota Song of the Week: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the official tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream is no extra charge....that in honor of the fact that nobody in Minnesota can drive anywhere, this could be turned into a marketing opportunity, and every citizen should join in singing "These Boots are Make For Walking" after the national anthem at all sporting events this week...and even humming the tune during the daytime, while walking to work, will act to relieve stress and unify the citizenry....Youngsters can check the lyrics and tune on the internet.....enjoy.

Governor says Nixon's Watergate tapes are just old news: and his emails too: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

A Legendary Governor of the Frozen Tundra recently tweeted that his 22000 some emails detailing activities merging official and political business are just "old" news...and he also said that the Nixon Watergate files are old news too, as well as JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King and all the others....because these are old news, they are not relevant...nice....

Legendary Radical Mayor Opposes 400sq ft homes for homeless, except if they charge $1000/mo: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Paul, "the weasel" Johnson, legendary radical mayor of Normal, Mn. during the radical anti-war days of the 1960's, who first became mayor when he had long hair and sandals, now says, now that he is an older retired lawyer, that he vigorously opposes 400 sq ft homes for the homeless, but would like uptown 400 sq ft apartments with underground garages for $1000 to $1400 per month, depending on amenities...nice...

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Company appoints 19 new Senior Staff--all over 70yr old--urges them to think outside box: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a distinguished organization in Normal, Mn , which markets ideas and products to mostly seniors, has appointed 19 new staff, all over 70 years old and has instructed and encouraged them to think "outside the box." Nice..

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Frozen Tundra declared Closed till March 1st: Tales from Normal, Mn.:Fiction

Just got the tweet....all of the official Frozen Tundra states....Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, North Dakota and South Dakota have been declared closed and out of business till March 1st due to adverse weather...the closure could be extended till March 15 if needed...All business will be closed...so no need getting stuck on the way to closed offices...stay warm...

Loans for Propane, Water, Cell Phone, and Fuel now available: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn.---energy assistance grants have always been available for the poor in Normal, Mn., but now, since costs for propane have skyrocketed, special loans, repayable at 9% over five years are available to middle income taxpayers...just stop by City hall to apply...and yes...loans are also available for the skyrocketing water rates, cell phone rates and even car repairs...Just make sure you bring your tax returns for the past five years...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Loco" Control, not "Core Standards" wins in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from "Billy Bob", one of the famous bass fisherman who is a regular at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn---he explained that at the local school board meeting last night in Normal, Mn., the guys just wanted to do something totally unique, totally American, and ...well...they did not really understand the new fangled ideas of "Core" subjects and thus voted to keep "Loco" control, which was for them the way they had been doing things..."We aint changing nothing" he said....

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Propane Dealers Explain: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Two local propane dealers stopped in yesterday at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, and over a double strong coffee, lots of sugar, and whipped cream, explained to the stunned bystanders that we live in the greatest nation in the world, and due to the fine determination of business ventures in the field of fracking, there has been a ton of production of natural gas, and in fact we have so much natural gas we don't know what to do with it and have to waste some by burning it at the wellhead, and ...due to our abundance of natural gas, the prices have gone sky high...up from $2.00 a unit to over $5.50....and that while some middle class homeowners have to go without heat because they cannot pay for it, the poor can apply for assistance and get relief...and besides if those middle class folks do not like it, they can sell their homes.....the guys were pretty stunned by his talk....

Leader argues that Pot and booze are different: Tales from Normal, Mn: Fiction

A famous governor in the frozen tundra, in off the cuff remarks, said that he felt that pot could not be legalized in his state because pot was a gateway drug and from what he could remember from his youth...pot and booze were different....stay tuned as I follow this story...

Drivers shocked by potholes...: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it has been such a long winter in the frozen tundra that newspapers are shouting out to readers to remember about potholes...it has been so long since 2013 and warm weather, that most residents of the frozen tundra with short memories brought on by ...whatever...had forgotten...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Conservatives Argue that paying workers a living wage would be "Immoral" and harm jobs: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems some conservatives at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. yesterday expounded that there could be no increase in the minimum wage since it would be immoral and unfair for some to make enough to eat, when it would be fairer if all starved alike...and besides, if some got more money per hour, less people would be served at fast food restaurants because customers would walk out because of poor service...and less people would eat fatty food...and they would live longer and strain the health care system...so keeping it just the way it is with beef, bacon, cheese and dairy being served by cheaply paid workers was best in the long run...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Criminals Worried About their privacy being invaded: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning about the proposed drone program in Normal, Mn., that vast tundra wasteland in the winter that is a paradise for bass fishing in the summer....the locals were considering covering the 10 miles around Normal with a drone to supervise and take pictures of crime in progress..but it seems that those involved in car theft and burglary have some privacy concerns...stay tuned as I follow this story,. And as far as cameras mailing folks traffic citations...there is a little concern of some folks that they might come home from a trip and have many, many, many tickets in their mail...stay tuned.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

LIbrary books abou the "Great Crash of 1929" sought by readers: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Little Ladies Library in the center of Normal, Mn. Mall and it seems there has been a big demand for books on the Stock Market Crash of 1929...It happened before most of the baby boomers were born, and there has been a rush by readers to bring themselves up to speed....many wondered if the pundits felt that the Great Crash was touted to America during the 1930's as a great "buy on the dip" opportunity...stay tuned.

"Chocolate Chip Cookies Under Attack" in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn: Fiction

Just got the tweet...Conservatives in the Old Fishermen Retirement Center lashed out Wednesday at new age Chocolate Chip cookies that they felt were too diverse and tended to undermine the solid heritage of the frozen tundra, where peanut butter cookies and oatmeal cookies have been the treasured tradition...Some pundits felt that these conservatives were just looking for a wedge issue, and may have been very frustrated since many in the frozen tundra have been abandoning their homes because of the shortage of propane, and hence it is possible that all the neighbors have been a few propane tanks low...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Saturday, February 1, 2014

"Two Men with Hammers" Cited for Outstanding Civic Duty: Tales from Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet---"Two Men with Hammers", the real estate flipping firm that set a record last year for the numbers of homes flipped for a profit after a quickie rehab...they received the Distinguished Service Award from the State because their deft flipping accounted for a noticeable rise in economic activity for the State...and in undelivered remarks the Governor mentioned that he hoped all citizens were as productive as this company, and while it is nice for a population to be stable and contribute to their community, the State does have an interest in having the numbers look good, and flipping really helps...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Normal, Mn. ENDS "Income Inequality" by Mayoral Memorandum: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet..shocking news...the Mayor of Normal, Mn. issued an executive memorandum that declared an end to "Income Inequality"....and in addition to the three sentence memorandum, indicated in oral remarks strong support for the Presidents' call for a new MiRA, a special national retirement system, created by executive order, that will allow regular folks to have the TREASURY, manage their retirement money, and with the same moxie that through deft virtual bookkeeping added trillions to our national debt and reduced interest rates for seniors to less than 1%....that same moxie will be used to make each and every senior successful in investing...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Frail Seniors Remember How Tough they were when they were young: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the Little Sisters of the North Nursing Home in Normal, Mn---in the midst of the terrible snow and cold weather of the past two weeks, residents have been gathered in a circle each morning and smiling...and fondly thinking back how it was in the old days...when they were tough...and rough...and could handle ..well..it must have been 100 degrees below zero, and it must have been...30 inches of snow...ah yes...that is whey call this the "memory unit."

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Conservative Educators argue for "unpaid internships" for elementary school children: opportunity cited: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---distinguished conservative educators have noted that unpaid internships are a steppingstone to the future workplace and income mobility...and the key is unpaid internships in the elementary school years...some suggestions are in manufacturing jobs that could utilize the youngsters natural quick handspeed...with the eye to gradually adding other skills over a decade or so...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Planking and Yoga cited as essential for "Core Curriculum " Improvement: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Locals were delighted today when the Normal, Mn. School board urged all parents to see that all students were enrolled in a health club that could provide "Core Fitness" focus, with a special focus on planking and yoga...spinning would be allowed, but some real serious P90 fitness was encouraged...after all...a large improvement in "Core" was being sought...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Educators cannot remember how they dealt with snow days: Tales from Normal, Mn. FICTION

Educators are scrambling today in Normal, Mn. to figure out how to deal with the almost week long unintended vacation from school due to extreme cold and snow...they cannot remember how previous generations dealt with the extremes of the weather...and there does not appear to be a solution noted in Wikipedia....there was a suggestion that they extend the school year, but this solution might make some folks angry, and the alternative is to not allow the kids to pass to the next grade...To solve the problem, the Normal, Mn. school board has formed five committees to work on a solution...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Propane Heated Homes on Sale Today in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...realtors in Normal, Mn. have announced some pretty spectacular deals...some distinguished residents of suburban developments powered by propane, have been offering their homes for sale at .10 on the dollar....it seems that in the normal supply and demand of the normal American free enterprise system....well...there is only very expensive propane, and that has rendered these homes almost useless...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Spies angry they are being spied on: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the spies in Normal, Mn. are very upset today...that their professional activities are being spied on...and by people they cannot find, some of whom appear to be young, untrained in the spookcraft trade....and revealing events of the past and present that are...embarrassing...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 27, 2014

New School Report Cards bring Shock and Awe: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...after a four hour executive session of the Normal, Mn School Board, an executive order has been issued to change the report card format for all grade levels...this will substitute for any effort in school improvements...it will also save money...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Propane Panic in Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...all over the frozen tundra folks are trying to drain their water pipes so they can leave for Florida or Arizona....they might as well leave since they cannot get propane to heat their homes...correction...they could get propane but it would cost them triple of what they paid last year...and they have been saying that this is what makes America great...that it is just supply and demand...they demand and you pay...and we have lots of natural gas, but the price is just skyrocketing...it was $2 a therm a couple of years ago, but due to progress it now approaches $5...thank goodness for the laws of supply and demand...

Cutting Food Stamps but Keeping Corporate Farm Welfare: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the higher ups in Normal, Mn. have gotten tough and cut food stamps, but kept the farm welfare program to the relief of larger corporate farm organizations....

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Older Minnesotans Talk Tough....but leave for Arizona: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got off the phone talking to a guy from the frozen tundra near Normal, Mn....and he spent most of the time telling me of the toughness of Minnesota residents, and how that very, very cold temperature keeps all the evil out of Minnesota and that those who remain are the best of the best....at the very end of the conversation, he admitted he was calling from Phoenix where he spends the winter....nice...

"Penny" Stores come to Normal, MN: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it seems that dollar stores, the center of fashion for rural America, just had prices that were too high....cheaper is needed...stay tuned.

Planking and Intense Weight Training urged for "Core Curriculum": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Head administrators at the Normal, Mn. School District are in a "think tank" session today, midst the intense cold weather, to consider whether "Core" Curriculum should include weight training to improve the "core" muscle groups of its students...stay tuned...this topic has been so popular that it might replace math and science in some districts...

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bribing the taxpayers in election years popular: Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.--where everybody is huddled in this cold spell over hot coffee and "stickeybuns"...a local favorite...and to a man they were pretty amused by the notion of some governors seeking election to just give all the taxpayers a big check next year and hope the regular citizen does not notice that overall debt levels are rising as the checks are being written---and that was the very pitfall that caused all the division in the first place----but then the mantra of successful politicos....bribes work....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Politicos agree about Walleyes---but nothing else: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Big night last night...as the Govs all gave their State of the State speeches---and the wonderful thing here is that "Walleyes" was the biggest applause getter in the Normal, Mn. govs speech----politicos differ on everything else...but they agree on Walleyes...stay tuned...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

"Small Homes are best cause our relatives can do those" : Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A local contractor from Normal, Mn brought smiles at a local meeting when he noted that it is best to build small homes and no large structures, cause the locals can't build the big ones, and he wanted to keep all the "goodness" or "Money" right in town....thinking big, or building big might harm the goodness of his local family...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Bedroom Community gets survey about whether they want to be a "walkable community": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Residents of Normal, Mn just got a planning survey asking everybody in town whether they want on a scale of 1 to 20 a "Walkable Community"...Normal, Mn has been a tourist destination for fishing for decades, and everybody gets there by car...There has been some conjecture that the Mayor of Normal has had some vison loss, and cannot see distance anymore...so may have forgotten how folks get there...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Bank Leaving Town in order to Serve Core Customers Better": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---the local Credit Union branch is closing in Normal, Mn and in a short press release, the vice-president said that they were closing in order to serve their "core" customers better...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, January 20, 2014

New Tennis Courts Considered...though nobody plays Tennis: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

The Normal, Mn Park Board today announced serious consideration of adding some tennis courts to the park board plan for the next five years...yes they understood that there was no interest of current citizens in tennis, and yes it is true that any attempt to form tennis teams in the past has been a failed attempt...still...maybe somebody from afar...wealthy and such...might be attracted by the tennis courts to come here and pay the list price for our real estate...it might just be worth the investment...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Normal,Mn launches new bold economic development program: replaces "excellent" with "top notch": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After a three hour Planning Commission meeting this past night, the Normal, Mn. planning commission announced a bold new initiative: effective immediately there will be a global replace of the term "excellent" with the phrase "top notch". It was felt by the distinguished council members that the term "excellent" had become passé and that new bold initiatives were needed....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Bankers alarmed that "honesty" might put a real crimp in slick business: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Local bankers met today at the Gridiron Luncheon and presented a long program on why any impediments to the way they have been doing business over the past 50 years is a real "deal breaker" to a recovery of the American economy...The bottom line of one of the listeners, was that honesty would be nice...but it might really harm business...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Local Car Dealers tell older car drivers that the time to buy is now: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Local news pundits of WKYZ, the local talk radio of Normal, Mn have featured a special program today on why America needs to break out of the current recession, and why this recovery requires older drivers driving older cars to buy a brand new car, and incur as much debt as possible doing so. They have insisted in loud voices, that those old cars just have to break down, and as soon as they do...everything will be fine again in America...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Inherited Millionaires discuss how they solved the War on Poverty; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The distinguished "Petunia Society", an association of ladies of distinction in the northern tundra of Normal, Mn. met Wednesday last to discuss how to solve the War on Poverty. A panel of two distinguished wives of local millionaires led a presentation of their best ideas....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Conservatives Urge 24 Hour Work Day; In the name of Freedom: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Several august manufacturing and commerce types in Normal, Mn. have introduced an ordinance that would allow employees to work 24 hours in a row on a "voluntary basis"....and they have explained that this would be a way for folks to make some extra money...and that the truly ambitious and hard working types should not be hindered from success by antiquated laws....stay tuned as I follow this story...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Homeless numbers skyrocket, job numbers fall, unemployment Official numbers drop: Economists happy; Tales from Normal, MN: FICTION

Seems that homelessness is skyrocketing...jobs are disappearing...but the official economists are pretty excited about all the folks giving up on work, since by "disappearing" from view, people allow the numbers that the Wall Street folks follow to look better..., and the stocks to go up...which is good for all the white shoe folks....

New "Progressive" Testing announced for Normal, Mn Schools: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...from now on, in computer aided tests in Normal, Mn schools, if a student gets an answer wrong, the next related question will be easier....and when a student gets the question right, the next question will get harder...the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's just smiled..one guy wondered what the "Perfectionist" types would do...they might be driven nuts by the ever harder questions...."It will serve the eggheads and nurds perfectly" he was heard to say....stay tuned as I follow this story.,

All of the "Goodness" is kept "Local" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the local electric public utility for Normal, Mn., the Everlight Corporation, who declared that because the local utility is a local public utility, all of the goodness of the utility can be kept in town, and none of it will be used to stray from the local city....and in related news, Billy bob noted that he does not give to anybody because he likes to keep all the goodness to himself....the bass fishermen at the table at Betty Lou's coffee shop just smiled....

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Folks in Seattle are feeling pretty superior to all those frozen folks in the Midwest: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet..it seems that some guys from Normal, Mn. that had been bass fishermen just left for Seattle, and were feeling just so superior now that they can have rain every day...and it is so much better than freezing during January in Minnesota....nice...

Economists get excited to hear that folks are giving up: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn---it seems that they have been watching MSNBC in the morning before the launch out to fish for bass, and they were shocked to see economists that were giddy with joy that so many older folks, over 40, have just given up on looking for work any more, or have been removed from unemployment....once they leave the work force, the unemployment numbers will improve because they will no longer be counted....ah those statistics guys...they are all alike....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Schools Add TWO Dean of Students, Plus One Linebacker coach; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn---they are so proud this morning that the beat of progress has just kept on going...the local schools have added TWO dean of students, who will work with the students to improve discipline, PLUS a linebacker coach to improve HITTING skills on the football team....Progressives everywhere are applauding the improvements....

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Job Seeker says he wants job, hates corporations: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the famous bass fisherman they all call "Fighting Billy Bob" in Normal, Mn. , who has won many bass fishing contests over the past ten years, went on television today and said that he considers himself a progressive, that he is always looking for a job, but just hates corporations....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Folks find living in 400 sq ft boxes attractive: Tales from Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...seems that modern hipsters have found it attractive to live in 400 sq ft homes...pretty shocked here...it used to be that only homeless would choose to live in paper cardboard shacks of this size...but now youth has decided that this minimalist lifestyle that emphasizes size is the home of choice...and in some cities, youth can still get the status of high rents, since some of these homes still cost $750 to $1000 per month, if they are situated near the metra...Most of these developments have an attractive party room for entertainment that all residents share, since entertaining in ones bedroom is not always considered chic...stay tuned as I follow this story.