Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Friday, April 25, 2014

300 Nations consider holding "military" exercises in Ukraine: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...one of the tweeters that wanted to remain nameless, indicated that rather than call the military exercises a "world war" they chose to term them "exercises" or just "arm flexing" or maybe "bullying".. The unspokesman said that "exercises" sounded so much like "fitness" and "health" that it was chosen...He promised to update the world on the number of deaths...stay tuned...

Over 5000 Hospitals say they are the "Top" Heart Hospital in USA: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---seems one of the guys, after an extra strong cup of coffee and triple sugar this morning, felt some chest pain...and felt he might need to go to a hospital to have it checked...but then crisis...which hospital...he wanted to go to a "top" heart hospital, and he searched it on his hand held smart phone, and came up with 5000 hospitals...it is so hard to know what "top" is these days....stay tuned as I update his outcome....

Monday, April 21, 2014

"Selfes need to know More about self": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop....the guys have been discussing this morning why it would be that if all their kids post everything that comes to their minds on facebook, and snap every possible picture of their lives...that it would be necessary for a watch to record every minute they sleep and every calorie they burn...the guys were pretty speechless...one guy just said: "I guess I'm not that into myself." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

"Making Life worth Living" highlighted: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Representatives from the Normal, Mn. wine and liquor association announced last Friday that life without beef, beer, cheese, wine and spirits, would not be worth living....Stay tuned as I follow up on what their life essence consists of....

School Schedules "Communications Meeting" when noone can attend: Tales From Normal, Mn. :FICTION

The Normal, Mn. School Board announced on Saturday Morning that they are holding a "Communications Meeting" to discuss improving communication with residents, and are holding it on Monday at 1PM...just so no parents or care givers could attend...how nice is that? Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Fed Chief Says Speeches would be shorter if economy "Obeyed" Tales From Normal, Mn.: Fiction

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong...and the whipped cream is no extra charge...the boys were all abuzz this morn about the speech of Janet Yellen in which she said: "“If the economy obediently followed our forecasts, the job of central bankers would be a lot easier and their speeches would be a lot shorter,” Yellen said. “Alas, the economy is often not so compliant.” The guys just loved it...One guy said: "The purpose of all the announcements is to promote confusion, not clarity...and the real problem is that economics folks just don't have the ability to be unwordy." Stay tuned...we will see how wordy Janet Yellen gets...

Both Women and Men are Too Important to Cook: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....it is rainey today, and they had a little extra time to talk things over...and they started talking about breakfast...what they eat...who cooks it...and lunch...and dinner...and All the guys said they were too important with all the fishing and such..to cook..and they simply ate out...for pretty much everything..one guy...the chunkiest of all said that it was because his wife made coffee so much better than himself..he let her make that... And the guys said that most of their spouses were women of the 60's, who were children of the older set, the women of the 40's and 50's who celebrated when the Jiffy cake mix was introduced...and all had homes with very small kitchens...since any women of dignity did not cook...and always went to the deli for everything...and to get to the bottom line...self esteem itself was grounded on NOT cooking... So there it is...both men and women too important to cook...and everyone is wondering where obesity came from...nice...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Parents Disappointed they were $250,000 short: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this afternoon...from the support group in Normal, Mn...."Parents who did not have $250,000 for each child to attend college"....lots of standing room only at this meeting...seems that even if parents had saved every dime they had made since birth, they would have been unable to meet the expectations of our society to attain a college education for each of their children...and this dollar figure did not include full season football passes to their college team or Rose Bowl transportation and tickets...all in all there was a whole lot of hand wringing goin on...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sedentary Workers Urged to "Be More Active": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from some loyal workers at the Normal Widget Factory in Normal, Mn.---seems they got a memo from their health insurance company that urged them to "be more active" in their call center and manufacturing jobs....and included some ideas in the memo such as walking in place even if they had to stay behind their desks, parking at the edge of the parking lot to walk a few steps farther, and using the steps rather than the elevator, even though they are prohibited from using the upper floors in the facility....and the memo went on to say that their basic health coverage was being cut with respect to prescriptions and that management hoped that a little more activity on the employees part would compensate them for the lack of coverage...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

All the Kids are Gifted in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Recently the Normal, Mn School Board met in private session and agreed that from now on, all the kids in the school system would be considered gifted....after making that decision, they considered the consequences....presto...a lot of money would be saved that could go to buy new football uniforms...so a win all around...a real team effort. Many years ago, like from 1960 to 1990 "gifted learners" had been "accelerated" which means that if they tested as having the knowledge and skills of a older grade, they were allowed to graduate early...One of my aunts, Janeth, graduated from high school at the age of 16, and then had the pleasure of working in the family business till she was 18, and then in 1929 went off to college...and yes...came back home after the crash... Stay tuned as I follow this story.