Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Distinguished Economist Fears Nation's Poor will Trigger Inflation: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop...in Normal, Mn....the iconic coffee shop where all the coffee is double black, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and where this very morning there was a special guest from the Twin Cities...a celebrated economist who during coffee this morning shared his latest theory...and a theory he has written of in his latest book, well..in fact a theory that he has written about over and over and over again in all of his twenty books over the past 30 years...and that theory is that the very poorest of the poor of America risk the entire economy of the USA by triggering inflation by buying goods during the upcoming Christmas season, with money that they do not have, but might spend anyway with credit that they do not have, but might somehow get...and all this spending will trigger inflation, which could ruin American prosperity, or at least the prosperity of those who have it presently.... The bass fishermen just smiled...and finally after a few minutes, one old guy spoke up: "Ya mean that Wal Mart sales will rise?" The economist replied that he did not understand the question...so the old bass fishermen persisted: "WalMart sales and earnings have been a big disappointment lately since the poor do not have the money to buy much...and consumer staples stocks have also suffered because of the same problem....So it seems that you are fearing that the poor will get jobs that they have stuggled to get in the past, and that they will buy goods that they have not been able to buy in the past...in short...you are saying that if a miracle occurs, there will be inflation...." The economist replied that he still did not understand.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Famous Athlete Beaten as youth, beats 4 yr old son: Be Like me: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that a famous football league that is known for its toughness, was totally shocked by the scandal that occured when a famous running back who was beaten as a youth, and was proud of it, as a sign of his toughness, then beat his 4 year old son....so he could be great also, one presumes.... The bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop this morning were pretty puzzled by all this...they had thought that memory loss was caused by the extreme hitting of the linemen which caused memory loss; but in this case, it appears that dull vision and memory loss has also crept into the executive ranks of professional sports....and they wondered whether rather than having 5 or so high priced suited sports commentators with no helmets on the sunday sports shows....maybe just 1 or 2 regular folk with helmets might be an improvement....after all, just needing 5 guys to describe what happened means that there must be some memory loss at even the public relations level....Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Launching planes and ICBM's as an Economic Stimulus tool: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen on Sunday morning...they have been watching the weekly recap of news and were in awe of what has become of the distinguished economics theory of economic development...it seems that at the highest level of government...or maybe just Russian government, but when one reflects maybe others share the theory, when one is faced with the plunge of value of ones currency or is facing an ominous recession...one of the tools of stimulation is of course "printing of more money" but that technique does get old after a while, or after one has printed trillions of money...and the next tool from the Chicago or maybe Russian theory of economics is to launch bombers and ICBM's on just a "war games" exercise of course, to get some economic stimulation going, and of course to develop some real patriotism of the locals....this all seemed pretty stunning to the bass fishermen....and they wondered to a man what has become of the Economics department worldwide....maybe they just got a little bored with the traditional texts and decided to expand the tools of the trade to include world war.....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Rise of the "Buffer Zone": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet on Sunday morning from the Bass Fishermen in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---they were all there this morning and watching the overhead black and white tv which was broadcasting news about the "Buffer Zone" in place in the Ukraine....17 miles or so of planned neutral space that the rebels and the Ukraine troops have agreed that they will withdraw from....but have not so far.... And the more the guys talked about the "Buffer Zone" the more they liked the concept...and they felt that in cases of conflict, one needs some space to sort out the issues and reflect a bit...and when it came time for them to leave for Church...they resisted...and decided to declare a "Buffer Zone" between themselves and the Church .....until the Church could sort out the mismanagement and abuse that it had been involved in for the past...several...decades...or maybe a couple hundred years....it must have been a while...since all of the higher ups that have been called to testify in St. Paul "cannot remember" anything....which is usually a sign that it has been a while...or that all the higher ups have lost their memory with alzheimers or maybe that they played football in the early years...or maybe that they were in fact hired because they could not remember much, and promised to be faithful in not remembering.... Anyway...the bass fishermen were very firm this morning....they would create a "buffer zone" between themselves, the prayerful faithful, and their Church and remain outside of 5 miles from the Church and its collections till the issue was decided in the courts in St. Paul...and maybe longer...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

After Two Manhattens, General Seeks Wider War: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet....from my bass fishermen friends in Normal, Mn....who went to happy hour last Friday nite at a night club that will remain nameless...anyway...just after happy hour closed, which had been offering highballs on a two for one basis...a local retired General, who had been a legendary paratrooper in his younger years, stood up and announced to the crowd of elders surrounding him...that he was ready for a wider war...and would be seeking support among them....well...everybody cheered...as was usual after a bout of heavy drinking...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

City Adds to Parks despite having 30 Year Supply: Tales From Normal, MN: FICTION

Just got the note from the bass fishermen...the town elders from Normal, Mn. have just completed their five year park plan, which has noted that our dear city has enough parkland to last for the next 30 years at the current rate of development...and maybe even longer if things slow down....and in related news...they have disregarded their five year plan and gone ahead and added more parkland since developers wanted to get rid of some swampland rather than pay the city cash...how sweet is that...to be forward thinking and dream big for the next 100 years, or maybe 200 years and just think of those future wonderful citizens that will be paying for all these wonderful things we are doing today....

All the Busboys have Phd's in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn. FICTION

It's been pretty chilly up in Normal, Mn...that hotspot of bass fishing..and the guys, at least all of the regulars, over 60 yrs old mostly, all gathered last week during the rain and overcast weather...and they began to wonder....and wonder more...as they watched newscasts on the overhead black and white tv...that told of the current employment situation where students were so loaded up with student debt, when in fact most of the open jobs were in bar and restaurant wait jobs...so that in reality, most of the busboys that the fishermen knew had Phd's....They tried to think back...and ya the football players had a hard time in the remembering, but they relied on the others to help piece together the history.... Over the years from what they could remember, there were more and more jobs that required a college degree, and it became the fashion that folks pretty much understood that in order to get ahead, despite whatever the cost of the loans was, one simply had to click on the mouse and sign the electronic signature and get in debt...bigtime...it was a "Whatever it takes" moment....and the educated administrators of the colleges and universities kept saying that it was a wonderful investment...and they believed it since...well...they had never made any investments before...and they had not reached the age of "reason" yet, since the education had delayed it.. In the old days, there had been a universal belief in "lifelong education", which to the bass fishermen had meant that they could constantly learn new things about bass fishing and other hobbies and crafts that they had pursued...and home improvement had been a big part of it...now the phrase "Lifelong education" had switched to mean, lifelong indebtedness...the state of going to school forever, and because they had gradually begun to believe that knowledge that one acquired on ones own was worthless, they had totally bought into the idea that if you did not pay for it,,,,knowledge was pretty much worth zero...and the corollary...the more you paid for it...the more it was worth....and so they had forgot the old days in college when a whole room of furniture was pretty much available down on the street if one just searched a bit.... The guys were just a bit stunned in the review of this development....the term deja vu did not reflect their amazement at the state of affairs....

Friday, September 5, 2014

Fishermen worried that rising bait costs might ruin fishing: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

What an amazing morning...on the morning when all over America corporate pundits are worried sick that wages might rise and throw a wrench into the nirvana of the US economy...even though there has been no effective wage improvement for the average family for decades....still the fear is strong this morning....and at the same time...we get the tweet from the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn....having coffee at Betty Lou's coffee shop...that they are very worried that the local bait shop and the proprietor, Janet the bait woman, might raise bait costs and throw total chaos into the wonderful world of fishing...a world where it is really important to have fresh minnows to work with, and important to hook them properly so the hook keeps their mouth shut...but above all, cheap bait is the best... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The best "Invasions" occur when you are on "vacation.": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got back from a getaway to Normal, Mn for the Labor Day weekend...what a great time visiting with the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop right before we went out early to catch some bass...although I will admit we did have to fight lots of weeds since there appears to be an abundance of weed growth in the lakes up north...anyway...the guys were pretty amused to hear on the local news that the Russian military that invaded Ukraine and who got killed, were described in public reports from Russia as guys that were just on "vacation" or as guys who just wandered over the border by mistake....In a more cruel note...those Russian military guys could not wear their dog tags, so when they died, their heirs could not get military pensions...how wonderful is that to cut costs for the Fatherland.... For the guys..the moral is "when you are on vacation, go fishing...don't go to war.".

Monday, September 1, 2014

City Restricts Beer Floats to the first 500 Entries: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

What a thrill today to watch the Normal, Mn Labor Day Parade....it started early at 8am so that all the folks that had to hit the road to head back home could still enjoy the festivities...and to shorten the Parade, Normal, Mn. City Council ordered that there would be a strict limit to the first 500 beer floats...there has been such an enthusiasm for specialty brewing, and indeed in some cases bathtub brewing, that there has been more enthusiasm than the Parade could support....and so for all those who are trying to drive the long drive home....good luck...