Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dateline Normal, Mn.: "Realignment" is a time for Glee in Normal"----FICTION

Well it has been areal confusing time reading the newspapers from Normal, Mn. It seems that a simple football realignment in the northern tundra has resulted in a huge windfall for local teachers pay packages---and whatever happens, the teachers do not want to go back to the old NTWIAA conference---that's the Northern Tundra WIAA.

Ever since Billy Bob Jr., who coaches middle school wrestling got the brainstorm to petition to be added to the bigger Brainerd Athletic conference---a move most folks did not understand at the time---he argued that the increased competition would do the kids good, and be a real role model....or something like that. \

Anyway, when the school board met the following september, they discovered that in order to be competitive with the pay scales of their "peers" in the conference, they each would need a $4000 pay raise---and it was real urgent in order to be competitive.

When I called Herman in Normal---he just laughed.

"Shucks Wolfman---its just the tail wagging the dog----and it is about time you figured out who is wagging who. That was a real moxie move---the teachers just love it. The kids do have to bus a lot longer---but the teachers love the higher pay so much, they would never go back to the old conference. It's just progress. "

Then he let out a huge bellylaugh.

(Ed.note: Click on the post for the press release from Normal.)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Dateline Normal: Fear of Too much Government; Too many capital gains; And the Boogey man too---FICTION

Well it has been disconcerting. All the news of the financial markets. I have been reading (click on the post) that our outgoing President, President Bush, midst the financial crisis and the calls for regulation of our derivitaves market, otherwise known as the "gamblers"---our President has warned us of having too much regulation and also of the greatest of all evils---the fear of capital gains taxes.

As I always do, when questions arise, I give my old friend Herman a call ---he is a lawyer. He knows the law. He should know.

"Herman, what kind of a guy would be terrified of capital gains at this point of time, and also terrified of some market regulation?"

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh.

"Wolfman( that's what he always calls me.) You can always tell a guy who has had his finger on the nuclear trigger for too long. All the fears get mixed up. It clearly is time for our dear President to move along to another occupation....."

Nobody in American has capital gains except the short traders, and maybe some of those guys who got bonuses for driving their banks bankrupt----And nobody is really afraid of the coming regulation except those who have preyed on the innocent---let's hope they are afraid of some regulation---that is a good sign. "

It sure is good to be back in good old Wisconsin. Where the gains we are worried about are in football.....and the only changes in regulation are in the football conferences.....It is really kind of a world all its own.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Fed urges banks to lend; Urges consumers to pay CASH; Lift up by bootstraps---FICTION

Well the headlines sure have been a bit bewildering. ( Click on the post for the recent story.)Banks being urged to lend...lend...lend.. when the excess lending to undocumented loan applicants was the problem in the first place---yet there are a few creditworthy loan applicants available now---and the fed is urging that the banks loan to those folks quickly---before they become uncreditworthy I suppose.

Still----the general public consumer is being urged to be prudent...to cut back...to pay cash. Somehow---the two messages conflict.

So--whenever I have questions such as this, I just pick up the phone and give my old friend Herman in Normal, Mn. a call----as folks will recall, Normal is that quiet fishing village just south of Garrison, and Herman is a down home real estate lawyer that also moolights as president of the local school board. Herman would know, I thought.

"Herman what is the deal. How can regular folks cut back and go to cash, while the banks resume lending---and lending to who?"

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh. "Wolfman (that's what he always called me), ya just need to decipher the lingo. When big corporations get in trouble, like GM for example, maybe even though they have been warned for 20 years or so since "The Reckoning" was written that small cars that were fuel efficient were the cars of the future, our government just assumes it was a hearing aid problem---and wishes to bail them out. The rule here is that when the rich need a bailout, it is "SAVING AMERICA"----

Then Herman took a deep breath.

"However---ya have to understand that if the regular tax paying folks need help---maybe they face foreclosure on a home that had an inflated valuation that busted----to help that person would be "SOCIALISM". "

Wow---that was sure a shocking comparison. After I got off the phone I just reflected. Yup. That seems to be the rule. Thank goodness we are back in good old Wisconsin.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Why we Always hire "Entry Level"---employees who have not been corrupted by experience."----FICTION

Recently, I have experienced a lot of employers who just do not want to take a chance on hiring someone, whether it would be me, or well...anybody---that was over the age of 22. It seems that employers today want an employee that is enthusiastic, educated, in good health and not requiring any health care, and ....not handicapped by any knowledge of the world.

Let's face it. It is hard to impersonate a 22 year old these days. And ...it has been a bit bewildering. So I gave my old friend Herman, a country boy lawyer in Normal, Mn. a call---he should know I thought.

The weather was clear fall weather and the call went right through.

"Herman----what is the deal. It seems that innocence and ignorance has become real attractive in the work force---and oh yes....cheap wages too. What is the situation in Normal, Mn.?

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh----

"Wolfman,(that's what he always called me.) we have been there and done that. ALL of our hires in Normal, Mn. are restricted to persons who have had no employement experience whatsoever. It is an absolute requirement. We want entry level. We want NO experience. We want to have a TABULA RAZA so to speak.

I was simply dumstruck. How is this so?, " I asked.

"It is real simple, Wolfman. If a person was from a foreign land, they would say, "Yo no comprehendo"----which means "I do not understand. When one hires an entry level person, they simply say "That Was BEFORE my time, and I know nothing of it."----usually these are civil servants that have taken no history courses and have a short attention span."

So---what a shock. To hire entry level. Persons who have no experience... And persons who have no knowledge of the past---and are proud of it and in fact hired BECAUSE of it.---

The Herman went on:

"Sometimes, Wolfman, if there is an issue that everybody knows about, we do make an exception: We bring in a special speaker from a foreign town to speak on a subject, where that person does not have a clue.; It is important sometimes to go out and gather ignorance in a proactive way."

It sure is good to be back home.