Tales from Normal, Mn : FICTION: There's a Concussion Problem in Normal, MN.

 Remember when you were young?  When you used to watch or listen to Monday night football with Howard Cosell with his sidekick "Dandy" Don Meridith doing the color commentary?  And then in the fourth quarter when the key play occurred, "Dandy". Don would sing "The Party's Over."  

Spin forward now...when we have five chunky men in $500 suits with one attractive woman to help with social skills, giving the detailed analysis and then the instant reply in case you missed it the first time...

All viewers watching players who suffer season ending injuries often and the remaining players are mostly thinking of retiring someday, soon, maybe, whenever their mind clears, and some real dreamers are thinking of settling down and raising a family. Nice.  

Brain damage cannot be firmly diagnosed till one is dead. What a relief.  It would be real hard to see the data during our lifetime.  

Tales from Normal, Mn: Fiction: "School Board meets--== Parents and teachers Agree-- Nothing will be cut.

 Shocking developments from the Normal, Mn School Board last night.  As you know, there has been a severe enrollment decline caused by fewer births and also by students leaving for charter schools for a variety of reasons---all of which has led to a "doom loop".

Last night the parents and teachers agreed they want no cuts.  Period.  

In a surprising response, the Normal, Mn school board voted to mandate "home schooling" for one school year.  After all, "en loco parentis" means in place of the parents, but if the math does not work, it all reverts to home schooling.  Stay tuned as I follow this story.  After a year when cooler heads prevail, maybe there can be some progress made.  

Nostalgia: 2008: Tales from Normal, Mn:FICTION: Normal, Mn Celebrates "General Custer Days"

 Well what a buzz of activity as school days get ready to resume.  The local High School Marching Band is practicing very hard to master those very famous tunes of General Custer on the way to The Little Big Horn.  It is true that the tunes are easier when one is not on a horse.  The 7th Cavalry Regimental Band was led by Italian born bandmaster. Felix Vinatieri.

As Custers regiment marched out of Fort Lincoln, the band played the official regimental marching song of the 7th Cavalry, "Garryowen", a famous 18th century Irish drinking song that was Custer's favorite.  

The very last song the band played before the battle began was "The Girl I left Behind me."  This is according to Libbie Custers diaries.  

There is no truth to the rumor that right before the very end, Custer raised a sign asking for a Cease Fire.

Tales from Normal,Mn : FICTION Seniors seek emergency Status on " endangered species" list.

 In a surprise petition today, Seniors have requested that they be included in the endangered species act, at the very time that many species are being removed from protection.  Still one understands.  One should feel they are of the same value as a redwood tree or a fine chickadee.  Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION: Men of Faith and Courage will meet next Tuesday

 Men of Faith and Courage will meet next Tuesday in Normal , MN.  In the phone booth at Main and Madison Street at 1:00PM. No reservations are required.  Never fear.  there should be plenty of space for all participants.  

Nostalgia: 2014: Inherited millionaires discuss how to solve the War on Poverty: Tales from Normal, Mn.

 The distinguished "Petunia Society", an association of ladies of distinction in the northern tundra of Normal, Mn. met Wednesday last to discuss how to solve the War on Poverty. A panel of two distinguished wives of local millionaires led a presentation of their best ideas....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tales From Normal, Mn: High Level Penguin Negotiator Sought for Tariff Talks

 Just got the news out of Normal, Mn where all the bass fishermen are gathered at Betty Lou's Coffee shop, where all the bass fishermen gather each morning.  The bold poster in the Brainerd Daily Times caught their eye". "HIGH LEVEL PENGUIN NEGOTIATOR SOUGHT". 

Must be able to negotiate with island of Penguins where no human has been able to survive.  Only the fittest must apply for this position.  No hint of past surrender to penguins will be tolerated.  Conservative patriots preferred.  Alcohol use or drug use is acceptable.  Some history of business fraud preferred.  

Stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Hillbilly Healthcare" becomes the model in Normal, Mn : FICTION

 Whenever I face times of chaos, confusion, or stupidity--- and these times have been increasing lately-- I get in my trusty 1999 Toyota Camry and head up to my cabin in Normal, Mn.  

Back in driver training my instructor taught us not to be distracted and swerve for every squirrel crossing  the road.  Alas there was a classmate that was paralyzed by not following this rule.  Recently in my travels it is hard to drive thru a college campus and not notice all the college students crossing the crosswalks staring at their cell phones,  and even noticing my fellow drivers who are texting while driving and risking everyones health.

There even has been some who want to disregard science itself.  Disregard rational thought.  Disregard human feelings.  and just concentrate on the money.  

In healthcare, I call this "HILLBILLY HEALTHCARE". 

You may have experienced this if you were visiting your provider and even before you explained your concern,  he or she knew exactly what your problem was.  No listening.  No interest in you..  

Ditto for healthcare by "BOT". 

Just delegate the fraud to "BOTS".  And then plead innocence when things break ...and people too.  

Patriot Dairy Farmers Get their Firehose Milking Gear washed and ready to Milk Baby Milk 24/7: Tales from Normal, Mn : Fiction.

 Well all the dairy farmers in the midwest are getting ready-----ready to milk all the cows 24/7 since many,...most of their  milking staff could be deported.   In short the cost of milk could be going through the roof.  

It has surely been a while since those dairy farms were a small family affair..no vacations etc all the very large milking machines changed that so it will be interesting to see all those aging baby boomers picking up the mantle.  Stay tuned.  

Where are all the "Undecided Voters" in Normal Minn?

 Recently in the Presidential Election right down to Election Day there was nonstop debate about the

decision of the "undecided voters".  After all the millions of dollars that were transferred with reverence 

from the states to the holy Pennsylvania, I think a little analysis is timely.  

So--- as I always do when bemused I took the old 1999 Toyota Camry out and headed up north to Normal 

Minnesota to Betty Lous coffee shop---where all the coffee is double strong and whipped cream is

no extra charge..

The bass fishermen were all there in the early morn and I asked my buddy Herman what happened to

all the undecided voters? 

"Shucks Wolfman, there are no undecided men up in the frozen tundra--they are very sure till the day they 

die".

And the more I reflected I realized this was very true.  Even now at 79 surrounded by older fishermen I

can't remember anyone who was undecided about anything.

Bass fishermen make "Love List" for Bloomberg in the morning---FICTION

Well it was a hung over morning this Monday at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal Minnesota---where the baby boomer bass fishermen meet each morning to swap fish stories, drink extra strong coffee with free whipped cream, and listen to Bloomberg in the morning. One by one the guys were nostalgic about the classic morning broadcast and made a list they pinned on the bulletin board of the things they liked best. Here is that Love List: *. I love you bloomberg the way you allways start off each broadcast whether in war or peace, boom or crash with the latest 1/32 movement in the 10 year treasury. I also love the tinge of excitement when you hint that the current uptick might be the move that crashes the market and makes millionaires of short sellers. *. I love you bloomberg the way you always intervierw a lone disgruntled Fed member that has had his ego destroyed when his advice to raise the fed funds rate by 50 basis points was disregarded. * I love you Bloomberg the way when there is a Federal Reserve announcement you already have a long list of experts in the "dot plot" who can dissect where the statement of the Chairman could have been more effective---maybe by making it a bit shorter and making the pronouncements bolder to provoke more press action. *. I love you Bloomberg the way you always find some female investment professional that professes her alarm over the uptick in ten year rate---its like after a night of action in New York pubs with all the Jersey guys she now is afraid of a treasury rate bounce. Funny. *. I love you Bloomberg the way when the listener is just itching for a tradable stock idea you get chatty with guests about baseball. Nice.

Trained aviators sought for new DOOLITTLE Raid. Good eyesight and proficiency in low level flight desired.

The whole town of Normal, Minnesota is abuzz with comments on a posted enployment notice at Betty Lou's Coffee shop== the classic spot where all the baby boomer bass fishermen meet each morning to review the latest fish locator data. The ad was recruiting aviators who would be available for another Doolittle raid. No age requirements but must be able to fly and stay alert for up to 4hours. Not a one way flight like the original but round trip. Some low level flight hours a plus. Immediate availability required. Top pay and benefits. Apply for further details. Well, well,well. Every retired top gun pilot at Betty Lou's that morning had a grizzly grin on his face... Ya could tell they were a bit tired of fish locator data. Maybe needed to cut a few poinds to get into the flight suit--so just cut the sugar from the coffee. that should do. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

National Day of Fraud Repentance scheduled in Normal, Mn Sunday January 30, 2022

A national Day of Fraud repentance will be celebrated on Sunday January 30,2022 in Normal, Minnesota. This will be a day long event held at the Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church. Because of the overwhelming interest in this event reservations are required. This event is principally designed for penitant corporate executives. Trained evangelical ministers will be available to hear your confession and prosecutors will also be available to suggest plea agreements. This is a special opportunity for corporate whistleblowers to invite their CEO's to attend this event. There is no admission charge and in fact the whistleblower with the largest fraud referral will receive a special prize

Rural republicans say they were dumb and deceived—want vaccine first: Fiction

Hard to believe the news these days. Just got the news from the bass fisherman from Betty Lou's coffee shop where all the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge..All the rural legislators that just weeks ago were too macho to wear masks and were defiant of the Minnesota governors public safety orders, these very same legislators say they were deceived and dumb and should receive the vaccine right after the long term care residents. I wondered what the bass fishermen thought::. one grizzled guy spoke up. "There ain't no help for dumb. They were just pandering to power and never will repent. We can't reward dumb". So there it is..The rural red necks will have to get in line by ICDA code.

We count our losses in Normal Minn—-this ain’t no Badger “no contest” game: Fiction

Over some strong stiff coffee this morning at Betty Lou's in Normal, Mn the grizzly bass fishermen had a fieldday over the breaking news story that the Wisconsin Badgers who had a wonderful win last Saturday with a history making performance by their new quarterback---were stunned this week as that quarterback and his backup as well as the coach and a dozen players tested positive for Covid. The even bigger news was that the Badgers who were scheduled to play Nebraska this coming Saturday requested that the game be considered a "No contest" and not count as a loss. Meanwhile all across Wisconsin covid is rampaging and folks are dying. For keeps. So I just blurted it out"What do you think.?". The old fisherman responded: Up here in bass fishing country when you are not getting any nibbles in one location one moves the boat or changes the bait. Doing nothin is not the plan. Change is required. "As for the badgers....they need to count the game with Nebraska as a loss. And then change the remainder of the football season till the spring. Not counting losses is not the manly thing to do.

Preparing for Thanksgiving peace, State deploys National Guard for next 12 months:Fiction

Cold weather but hot hot coffee at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal Mn. this morning. The surprise this morning was the bass fishermen response to the news that our state has decided to deploy the National Guard in a 12 month deployment effort to "Be Safe" during the holidays and they define the holidays as beginning right after the presidential election. There was total agreement--which is rare in the frozen tundra-- that if you have no intention of changing laws and behavior there is no choice but to get ready for the riots...and as the rent moritorium expires and homelessness mounts and as doubts rise as to real reform as to social justice...well.. curfews and the National Guard seem next. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

We’re all Gator Fans “Packing the Swamp”. : Fiction

Fun coffee this morning at Betty Lou's in Normal Minnesota where the walleye fisherman gave a down home review of the recent episode of the Florida Gators.....and specifically the coach who tried to motivate the entire state of Florida to "Pack the Swamp" or fill the stadium of Florida university when the LSU team was to play the Gators. For all you frozen tundra fishermen the "swamp" is the stadium although yes it could refer to the entire state of Florida. But Presto!!! The very next day the game was cancelled due to a covid outbreak and to make matters worse the coach himself contracted covid. Bold leadership for some. Stupidity for others. In Florida infection just means a game cancelled and if death occurs you get a flag flown at half mast to make your heirs feel good.. So We're all Gators Now. worried that we might run out of caskets to stack or flags to fly. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

All the cameras are turned off in Normal, Mn: Fiction

Traumatic day today since i was unable to get to Betty Lou's coffee shop in time for the Bass fishermens coffee time---but being creative I did connect with zoom. Much of the wit of the bass fishermen is visual with all the rolled eyebrows and such and yes some grunts to spice things up--so I was very disappointed that all the cameras were turned off and i could only hear the muffled dialogue around the table. One of the guys explained the no camera policy. You have to have presence to be the fisherman. Virtual does not cut it. The world is filled with those who have forgotten how to show up. The coffee time is sacred here. I understood. Actually it could have been worse. The guys could have turned off their hearing aids. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Your sins might NOT be forgiven in Normal, Mn: Fiction

Shocking news out of the Our Lady of Perpetual fishermen parish in Normal,Mn. It seems that after the annual comprehensive liturgical audit of the local diocese it was uncovered that at the baptism of Pastor Buddy, the very popular pastor of the local parish, the minister used the words "WE baptise you in the name of".... the deacon thus made a fatal error. The correct wording is "I baptise you"..... Following liturgical logic thus all religious events in the life of Pastor Buddy are null and void. From the purely divine perspective What does this mean for you oh devoted reader? It means that everything you ever confessed to Pastor Buddy over your lifetime must be reconfessed again. With no mistakes. Or you will surely suffer the flames of hell. it may be hard for some of you to remember it all. Sometimes our memory fades on where we have failed. What to do? Simply ask your spouse. Asking your old girlfriends might be impossible. I do not recommend it. Stay tuned as i follow this story.

Super Patriots are voting Twice in Normal,Mn : Fiction

Just got back from a short Labor Day fishing trip to Normal, Mn. Once I got an hour out of the twin cities I began seeing the billboards---you know the ones. The super patriotic billboards that support recalling our Governor, or anyone else that might interfere with their proclivity to drink or buy guns. These were the graduates who did not study the "Common Good" concept in high school. I felt coffee was not going to be strong enough to meet my needs so I stopped for a strong whiskey manhatten plus the cherries at the Loose Goose Saloon. It seems that most of the folks there were a drink or two ahead of me. They were regaling their friends about how patriotic they were and to make the point they insisted on voting TWICE just to make sure their vote was counted. It was a scene right out of "Dumb and Dumber".

College will decide format once the checks clear: Fiction

Sure is quiet on the lake fishing now that kids are going back to school. The bass fishermen in Normal, Minnesota gathered for coffee this morn and over the extra strong coffee and the whipped cream they chuckled over the news that Frozen tundra University--it was just a junior college last year, but with a name change they get more tuition--has decided that they will not reveal whether they will offer real or virtual classes till all the fall tuition checks clear. Lots of upset students. Some want that authentic experience of dying of covid after a short party with peers. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Dying to Play Football in Normal, Mn: Fiction

Took some time off from bass fishing this morning to have some super strong coffee with the fishermen in Normal,Mn. Watching the overhead tv at Betty Lous coffee shop it was hard for the guys to comprehend that college athletes all over the country are transferring from schools that have shut down football to open states like Florida. Their thinking is that football is the only hope they have and that. well. even if it means death even then it might only be to old people they give covid to and that it surely is worth the risk.

Minnesota chooses between Bars and School : Fiction

Last week Dr Fauci the head of infectious disease told Americans that they need to choose between Bars or Schools. The explosion of Covid cases can be traced to Bars and thus if we want to reopen the schools safely we have to shut the bars. For Minnesota the choice is clear. Bars trump schools hands down. Learning is fine as long as it does not interfere with a stiff shot of whiskey or. .. even a glass of cheap beer. Imagine. The home of Minnesota "nice". Last week the legislature nixed the appointment of the Governor for Commissioner of Labor and Industry thus sending a message that they have no intention of working for the public good in the reopening of business in Minnesota. Partisans in the Minnesota legislature want the authority of the Governor to issue emergency orders in the interest of public health to be eliminated. So. the preference for Bars over schools runs in high circles as well as low. Stay tuned as the pandemic in Minnesota spins out of control.

Big Ten thinking outside of the cremation urn. Government not so much. FICTION

Big news today from the Big Ten. They have cancelled the football season. in related news the head of the Minneapolis Federal Reserve has called for a national lockdown as the only remaining way to stop the virus. Dr Fauci has continued to suggest we lock down the bars. It does seem that there are a few who are thinking outside of the box---or the cremation urn. Some governors are mostly concerned with appeasing rural legislators and bar owners but as far as public health--not so much. Up in Normal, Mn hours above the Twin Cities they have a wayside grotto for Abe Lincoln. It honors the last two years of Lincolns life. until then Abe was concerned with being "esteemed of men" and was hesitant to fire poorly performing generals or hire the right ones. only when our leaders get courage and are determined to think outside the cremation urn will they lock down the bars or cancel the football seasons or do a national lockdown. doing yoga poses and hoping....hoping everybody will be safe is lame and unacceptable..Remember Lincoln. and yes avoid the theatre.

Class scheduled next week to help bass fishermen talk fast Jersey bloomberg style: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Today all the bass fishermen gathered ,post election, to listen to the bloomberg channel with their slick fast talking anchors talking in their brit rapid style and anchors getting excited that they could make that fast presentation and not make their words run over....the new up tempo moxie brit style is the best...and the bass fishermen have been frustrated that they cannot keep up to the fast talking types...so next week...on Wednesday...the bass fishermen will have a special speaker from Jersey who is spending the entire day teaching them how to talk faster...from the brochure, the speaker has said it is no problem about the thinking part...that is always slow..even in Jersey...

"Investors might be "abandoned" : Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

The bass fishermen met this morn to celebrate the election results from last night, and were amused by the side story that some major New York investment firms were warning that if the new "fiduciary standards" legislation is passed for retirement accounts that the result would be that small accounts all across this land would not be worth the time of predatory brokers to deal with....sweet....the bass fishermen cannot wait...no more large fees, just robots now to serve them...and with the automated accounts the fees are prominently displayed on the portfolio account...how refreshing is that? Bring it on...let the abandonment be good....

Presidential Candidate wants to Use his bankruptcy expertise to Help America: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop....where there has been some hot and heavy talk this morning about which Republican candidate for President would be the best candidate to lead America...and the front runner has said that he wants to utilize his vast bankruptcy experience to get the best deal for America....stay tuned.

Full Employment Achieved but we keep laying off everybody: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen this morning...there is some confusion as they meet at Betty Lou's for coffee this morning..with all that extra strong coffee and the free whipped cream....they wonder about the cause and effect...is America at full employment BECAUSE they are laying off everybody? How do those rules of economic and equations work? Stay tuned as I folow this story.

Presidential Candidate considers Proposal that all Governors be LTE Temp with no benefits: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn...where last night there was a mini debate among the locals...and they were all a twitter about one candidate that was considering the proposal of the bass fishermen that all Governors be LTE Temporary employees with no benefits...that way they could better understand the citizens they represent...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Candidate Urges Upscale Park Bench Development--TIF sought: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Bass fishermen in Normal, Mn meeting for coffee at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....seems one of the latest is the proposal from a developer to create many more park bench "assets" as he calls them, with built in wi-fi and phone recharging capability. His proposal is for a reservation system so folks can reserve their park bench in advance using software similar to Uber car reservations...He estimates that the spots will be retailed for $400 per month on a prepaid basis. He is looking for TIF funding from the local community to cover the extensive financial burden to him and noting the substantial public benefit. He is hoping that his undertaking will create the possibility of franchising in cities across the land. Stay tuned as I follow this development.