Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dateline Normal, Mn; "Saving More by Spending More-; Losing Weight by Eating More----" FICTION

Recently I have been working in sales taking orders for a national firm---it has been fun and I have watched as folks order more and more to get free shipping offers, or in general just buy more and more merchandise made in foreign countries---there are some wonderful items yes....but I have noticed a certain type of customer that is simply addicted to deals, deals and deals---and I get the idea that they might confuse volume of purchase with saving....

This reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my daughters that went to visit Italy---she wrote that she had to throw out all of her bulky "xxx" clothes and buy just one or two high quality items of clothing to wear for outings, since that was the fashion in Italy----quality of merchandise mattered.

Anyway---I just wondered about the whole concept of "saving." So---I just picked up the phone and called my old friend Herman from Normal, Mn.---he was a lawyer. He should know.

'What ever happened to the concept of saving, Herman?"

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh.

"Wolfman,(that's what he always called me) the whole concept of saving...and in fact "self control" has simply vanished----We have in fact become a nation of overconsumption---why if I was to market a line of clothing, I would call it www.3xl.com . The whole nation has gone beserk on consumption. Food, entertainment....well...everything.....There is just an essential imbalance. If a person is out of shape, eat more. If a state is out of budget balance....borrow more....It is a spirit of cando----borrow and deny. Never give up. It sounds like a pirate slogan. Kind of a slogan of the punk pirates.....When will it end? "

"Yes Herman, that is a good question. "

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Dateline Normal, Mn.: DNR funds audio-video high tech Normal Fire Station---FICTION

Well last week something pretty unusual happened in Normal, Mn.. I got the call from Herman, the local country boy lawyer friend, who alerted me to the spectacular happening---the State of Minnesota DNR awarded the local Normal, Mn. firestation a large grant so that the new five bay Normal, Mn. fire station could be totally up to international code for audio video interface with potential terrorist threats nationwide----

Herman was just breathless with excitement.

"It has been just a wonderful thing" Herman gushed. "Ya got to understand that with all the other things happening up here in Normal, with the fishing, the recreational focus, there is a premium on firefighters that want to spend the weekend cooped up in a fire station waiting for a fire to break out. The state of the art video system is a fine way for the staff to be fully trained, and...well...retrained in the possible threats that might develop----in fact the guys have been watching the entire Bourne movie series just imagining what possible complicated threats that might come to Normal someday. The guys just love it. Movies, Movies, Movies.....the weekend just flies........"

"But Herman" I interjected, "the last time I checked ya just had two (2) fires last year. Why all the extensive infrastructure improvements for Normal, MN?

"Shucks, Wolfman,(that's what he always called me,) Fire is a growth industry. Besides, remember the old Smokey the Bear commercial? Ya got to be PREPARED. And we are---we got the movies to prove it."

WOW. What a happening. Maybe something like this can come to Wisconsin someday. it sure is good to be back home.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Dateline Normal, Mn.: " Bailout Breakthrough----Send me the money"----FICTION

Well it has been pretty stunning---the wide range of proposals all across the United States by all age groups for how to avert disaster. Yet with all the proposals, with all the diversity of point of origin----the theme has been the same. Send me the Money.

Whenever I wonder about such things, which has been more often lately, I just give my old friend, Herman, the countryboylawyer from Normal, Mn. a call----he is in God's country, and is a lawyer....He must know.

So I just blurted it out:

"Herman, how is it that folks think that our brand new President will send them all the money for the bailout----what is your take on this?

"Shucks Wolfman,(that's what he always calls me) in the real world, the first thing about deliverance it that it begins at home. Whether it is the Ponzi scheme of Madoff or the bailout nationally, there is the impulse to send the checks to relatives and friends first. It is just natural. After all, folks that are not related..... are nice folks and all....but... they don't need anything more than a friendly wave----up here in the tundra we call it the "Howdy wave." Ya give folks the finger wave from the car, the cheerleaderwave on the street that gives the necessary recognition----but it all ends with the money----money we just send to the relatives."

Wow. It all boils down to that. Even though as a nation, we are big, and modern and hip...... It still comes down to just a little small time thinking spread nationwide.

"Thanks Herman."