BREAKING: TEXT: US Navy seeks PIRATE negotiator--URGENT, Temporary LTE, ---FICTION

This morning, Easter Sunday, I got a surprise text message from Normal, Mn.---yes you guessed it from my old friend Herman, the countryboy lawyer, who double dipped as a lawyer specializing in trusts and estates and also was president of the Normal, Mn. School Board-----

The text message was terse----"US Navy seeks PIRATE negotiator---experience required--urgent need to avoid surrender by US Fleet".

I called immediately. Finally someone sought my expertise----

I wanted to share the requirements with you in case you know someone locally that would be a good fit for this position:::::::


Applicants must be tough as nails, have good verbal ability, and have the skill of thinking outside of the box----in fact thinking and talking while standing in a small dingey would be good.

Evidence of prior felonies a plus---with special weight given to large swindles, even larger than petty financial crimes. No stockbrokers can apply for this position, nor civil servants.

Applicants must be willing to accept payment in an offshore account in small denominated bills and the payment will be considered tax free by signed agreement.

Strong patriots are preferred since it would be terrible if the US Navy surrendered to a few PIRATES.

It would be preferable that applicant has viewed all the videos of WWII and the Battleship Enterprise 360 series and is familiar with the proud traditon of the US Navy.

If you know someone that would be a good applicant, send their name to The Evansville Observer @fre2observer@yahoo.com ..All replies confidential.