Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Normal Schedules H1N1 Flu Shots for 2015--Prepayment required"---FICTION

Well....it has been a bit frustrating...with the H1N1 flu shots being in such short supply...and being reserved for Wall Street Traders and health care professionals....and the very young.

The firm I work for has delayed its clinic several times. I just wondered how Normal, Mn. was handling the crisis. I figured Herman should know.

I picked up the cellphone and reached Herman in his ice fishing shack.

"Shucks Wolfman (that's what he always called me)----Up here we just got tired of worrying, and after much thought.... boldly scheduled the H1N1 clinic for November 2015---however, patients MUST PREPAY, with cash no checks....and they must live to 2015 cause there are no refunds."

Then he went on.

"We just thought that by scheduling the event in the far future, we could create a market for "swine flu futures" and the flu shot futures could be actively traded in the futures exchanges. After all, what makes our wonderful country great is its ability to create markets and money...there is no greater gift than that....the folks on Wall Street think of themselves as bein real givers...even better than doctors and nurses. The way we see it, even if folks don't live to get the serum, the market they create will do some real good."

WOW. What a shock. But the more I thought of it, since real health care is pretty rare anyway, at least playing with some swine futures would be a nice diversion.

Thanks Herman.

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