Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Shoppers Regain Confidence in Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well it has been quite a past two years---with employees nationwide losing their jobs and their homes at record rates---but the good news, and maybe the bad news was that folks had panicked and actually saved some of their earnings---yes the saving rate for America had gone up....

Now with the approach of Spring, some good news and maybe bad news----folks have begun to shop again---and not for just remodeling supplies, but for clothing and the other things that make America hum---Even though the revenue from employee earnings has not risen, the shopping has risen----

OOPS. That was what got us in the mess to begin with. I just wondered. I wonder what Herman would say about all this:

I caught him standing up casting for bass and ...yes...it took a while for him to answer his cellphone.

"Shucks Wolfman: quit worrying about the consumer....home prices will decline to where the youngsters today who make $10 an hour can buy them...it might take some time.....but in that meantime, the youngsters can buy some for digital gagets to keep the economy going."

Then he got a bass strike and had to hang up. First things first.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"Voting with your feet---and other funny stories"---Tales From Normal, Mn.

Recently I have been reading news reports about citizens of communities that have been told of higher taxes and the reports of the media have suggested that citizens are going to go to other districts, just are not going to take it anymore----in short---they are going to "walk with their feet."

I just wondered about that. So as always, I called my old friend Herman, the countryboylawyer from Normal, Mn.---after all, there had been ZERO growth in Normal, Mn. for decades---he should know about any walking.

After a long explanation, Herman just let out a huge bellylaugh:

"Everybody thinks they are just free as heck and can walk---but the reality is that when it comes time, things are so dismal, and jobs are so scarce...that folks just give their homes back to the bank....and then they walk......It is not defiance...it is just despair......"

Thanks, Herman.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Normal creates more historic districts than jobs!!: Normal, MN: FICTION

In special report to the community, held in a hushed room of citizens, the Normal, Mn historical society presented their annual report today, with multiberry scones with complimentary Starbucks coffee prior to the presentation in order to warm up the crowd.

Over the past year, according to the report, Normal, Mn. has created three historic districts, and has lost 300 factory jobs over the past 12 months----and if one does the math, under the proposal at the meeting, if an additonal four historic districts are added, well over another 300 jobs will be lost next year if history repeats itself---an axiom that all true historical preservs believe fervently, even if drinking a decaf Starbucks, with soy, hold the sugar, double whipped cream.

In summary, the community of Normal, Mn. was not impressed with the prospects for future development. Stay tuned for a more comprehensive report when the Plaque or Plague report is released next week.

"Man stopped for 100th DWI: Police unsure of action: Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Last night in Normal, Mn, a local named "Henry", not his real name to protect his rights to privacy, was stopped by the local law enforcement for his 100th DWI, or more commonly called OWI.

After stopping him with three patrol cars with helicopters overhead as backup, they whisked him off to the local police station to be booked and then returned home to his own cogniscance.

Upon contact by the local media, the local police were unsure of what action they would take. Stay tuned.