Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dateline Normal, Mn.: City declares cemetary National Tourist Destination

What a bunch of totally excited folks today in Normal, Mn. as they marched to the local cemetary to celebrate the designation of it as a National Tourist Destination.

It seems that Normal, Mn. wanted to get caught up in the craze of creating tourist destinations, but had just one simple problem....the most substantial and the longest lasting structures were in the cemetary---all of the cheap shacks of the treasured forefathers had long been demolished as unfit for human habitation.

If you are thinking of a short daytrip from Garrison, or Lake Winnie, or even St. Cloud, think of making the Normal, Mn. graveyard one of your destination points.....This message brought to you by the Grave Society...a 501(3)c organization dedicated to uplifting and caring.

Dateline Normal, Mn.: City Wins Technology Innovation Award for implementing "Concealed Carry": FICTION

WOW. Pretty exciting news. Just received the text from my old friend Herman. In a world of simple pleasures, fishing, booze etc, the 'Concealed Carry" was a hallmark of technology and innovation.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Dateline Normal, Mn.: City adds THREE new Historic Districts....Cancels Youth Programs" FICTION

It was a tough choice, but ...well....tough...very tough...and some say...well...dead...minds in Normal, Mn. decided today to add three historic districts to the city that were discovered in a recent archeological survey,,,and at the same time, in order to save time, by the same ordinance, cancel all youth programs....

They argued...and there were none to dispute it, that if one was going to truly treasure the past, it meant not enough money to go around for the present youth....and besides...youth today have texting and other pleasures...they don't need anything more.....

That's the latest from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Friday, August 20, 2010

Financial Panic in Normal, Mn.: Everyone Returns to School: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Everyone had to get a Pell Grant, and it was truly pell mell panic. Today in Normal, Mn., the news was that with everyone being unemployed they responded by..... planning to go back to school to incur some more debt:

The local school authorities have responded by...you guessed it....... building larger athletic facilities...and building larger beer gardens next to the stadiums....after all....it is important to meet student needs....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tales From Normal, Mn.: National Retailer replaces Personnel Dept with Shredder: Savings Cited: FICTION

Pretty stunned by this text message sent from Normal, Mn.. It seems that a careful behavioral analysis of the workings of the retailer showed that all the resumes submitted for job openings were simply stacked up and then sent to the trash; thus.... it would be more "green" to simply shred them all...same result. In the end, only relatives and friends were hired anyway.