Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Friday, February 18, 2011

Pro Football Players Take Voluntary Pay Cuts: Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In a valiant gesture today, in Normal, Mn., professional football players have gathered together to take a voluntary pay cut, and have pledged this extensive contribution to the school teachers of the Midwest so that education can be preserved so that the children can hope for a career in the highly lucrative fields of math, science and .....football.

"I escaped to Rockford and was saved": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

I love action movies...but these days I need a shorter film version each night....and I have begun watching the "Rockford Files." Yes...the ones that I used to watch when I was a lot younger...These shows seem to have just the right mix of action, romance and suspense that I need.

It was a shock to note yesterday that in Madison, Wisconsin our legislators, in order to save the democratic process itself...had to escape to Rockford, Illinois in order for rational democratic process to survive. Just the thought of leaving everything and escaping to Rockford, Illinois is a terrifying thought itself.

School Cancelled in Normal, Mn: No Jobs left requiring mental skill required: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Pretty shocking text from my friend Herman in Normal, Mn this morning. It seems that the entire school system was closed indefinitely since there are no jobs left that require education...Only some fast food clerks remain, and those employers offered to provide on the job training.

It was explained that the government of Normal, Mn. wanted to be competitive with China and their other Asian rivals.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Teachers Take Cuts; Sports Get Raises: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn.----Pretty unbelievable news....Seems pretty crazy really....Seems that teachers have taken huge cuts, labor contracts cancelled and at the same time sports and athletic salaries have been generously increased....

Something is amiss in Normal, Mn.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Mayor Calls Up National Guard "just in case": Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Mayor Billy Bob Mubarsky today called up the National Guard prior to the regular monthly meeting of the Normal, Mn. city council.

"This was just a case of being precautionary", Mayor Billy Bob said. " I know that our civil employees will be civil when they are informed of cuts to their benefits, and I am sure they will be compliant in every way."

Mayor Billy Bob mentioned that the troops will be stationed at the city hall, at the local police department, public works facility and municipal court. When asked directly whether the National Guard troops will be armed, he refused comment.

Stay tuned for breaking details of this development.

Friday, February 4, 2011

States study how to Cut Taxes yet raise revenue; Other miracles will be discussed next week: Tales From Normal, Mn: Fiction

Where does your fist go when you open your hand? Where does the revenue go when you give tax breaks? These and other topics will be discussed at the Rotary Lunch next week in Normal, Mn. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mayor of Normal, Mn. Agrees to Step Down in 2025 amid widespread protest: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text that the Mayor of Normal, Mn., Billy Bob Johnson, has caved in to the demands of the populace, midst the widespread charges of corruption, dereliction of duty, bribery and other unspecified breaches of public trust, and has agreed to resign from office in 2025.

Stay tuned.