Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wisdom of an Unpaid, "Voluntary" Militia Seen in Normal, Mn: FICTION

One of the first casualties next week if the United States defaults on its debt, will be that the military, active and retired will be unpaid. Yes. The bond holder, alias, the Chinese who hold our debt, and the Social Security recipients, who are paying in more than taking out, have first dibs---They will be paid. The military will wait.

The elders of Normal, Mn. were alarmed at first with the prospect of not paying our armed forces, but after some reflection, they realized that this would be a wonderful way to promote peace. After all...if only those who wanted to work for nothing would join the military, then...well...war might not be such a profitable business or career.

So...relax...the troops will be coming home shortly.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Beer Licenses Cancelled till Debt Crisis Solved: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that yesterday all beer permits have been cancelled and no sales of beer and wine will be allowed till the budget crisis of Minnesota is resolved. The wise elders of Normal, Mn. sent a press release in which they indicated that the failure of governments to meet their obligations in a timely and yet realistic manner indicated a perception disorder that would be helped by a "dry out" period.

Bar patrons are outraged, but do understand. In an odd way, in a territory that has very few effective "detox" programs, this is a way for the whole community to face the reality that they have been denying for so long.

After a comprehensive survey of patrons turned away from the Hideaway Lounge last night, where only Tahitian Treat was served, all patrons agreed that a quick solution was very important and possible...they hoped.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

"Everybody takes Losses but Me" party wins in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

All across the United States, and for the past four years, citizens from all levels of society have been taking economic losses---and yet the irony is that all across that same United States when I visit with folks, if they are selling their home, they have NO intention of taking losses....if they are discussing taxes, they insist that others take the increase in taxes not themselves....if there are cuts to be made, let others take them.....

Taking advantage of this phenom, I just got the word today that in Normal, Mn.,the recently formed populist group, "Everybody take losses but me" has won an overwhelming victory in their recent election. The whole community could not hire mental health counselors to discuss their social problem, so they decided to adjust their politics. Nice.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Special Boxing Federation for Lawyers formed in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Lawyers and Supreme Court justices from Normal, Mn moved boldly today to form a special boxing federation for their members. They indicated in a brief press release that they refused to be intimidated by the boxing prowess of their peers in Wisconsin, and furthermore, they had the moxie to do their boxing during their leisure time rather than "on the job" or during judicial deliberations, preferring cerebral and verbal pursuits during regular work hours.

The press release did not list the contact info, but stay tuned. There will probably be quite some demand of boxing matches with the esteemed bench from Minnesota.