Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Normal Mn Community Center announces Breakthrough: Combined Health and Octoberfest Fair: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In a breathtaking announcement today, the Community Center of Normal, Mn., a 501(3)c organization announced that to maximize efficiency, they have combined the annual Health Fair and the Octoberfest Celebration, and will make the celebration a day long event on October 10th at the new community center in Normal.

This breakthrough in efficiency will feature health screenings in the morning, followed by free pizza from Noon to closing from "Billy Bob's Pizza" the premium provider of Normal, Mn, and then also at very low special prices Billy Bob's favorite generic beer......

Bring the entire family...

Modern Touch Tone, Hands Free, Green Healthcare comes to Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today----pretty stunning news. Out of the supposedly backward northern tundra of Normal, Mn., comes the breathtaking new rollout of modern high tech healthcare----it will feature touch tone telephones that give the caller the option of: "Press one for appointments, Press two for clinical, Press 911 if this is a medical emergency, Press four if you are not sure if it is a medical emergency, Press five if you are reporting a death.

In addition to these modern conveniences, you will be able to access your physican via teleconference where the doctor can ask you questions and by using your computer video the physician can examine your health concerns. Hands free, totally green, and represented to save time and money.

Physician charges will be electronically debited from your checking account after each visit. How cool is that.

Stay tuned for further details as this brand new development happens...right in the backward tundra....just think of the magic if it came to your neighborhood.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Justices Charged in Enforcing "Open Meeting Laws" Say Law does not apply to them: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The justices of the Supreme Court of Normal, Mn. have announced today that while they do take very seriously their responsibility to enforce the "Open Meeting Law", they are above that law themselves.

When asked which laws they plan on following, the Supreme Justices indicated that they will decide this on a case by case basis. Stay tuned.

There was some speculation that a fight broke out during the discussion of this ruling, but this was unable to be confirmed.

Miss Toosie's Retort: Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Recently a famous Governor's wife made a visit to the local nursing home in Normal, Mn., where Miss Toosie is currently living in the Memory Care Unit.
By sheer luck, the Governor's wife stopped in to Miss Toosie's room...As she greeted her, the Governor's wife said: "Do You know who I am?"

Miss Toosie replied:

"Not really, but if you go to the receptionist desk she will tell you who you are."

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Normal Mn considers building shrine--looking for a miracle to celebrate: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that while they had hoped that FOOTBALL would save them with the beginning of the 2011 season and the increased economic activity, so far there has only been a few more diet pepsi consumed and it has not been enough for this fishing town of in the northern tundra.

Just yesterday, the Tourism subcomittee of the Economic Development Committee, commissioned a special "Miracle Task Force" to examine whether a shrine could be built to venerate a special miracle that has happened in these remote parts-----If you know of a miracle that will do....contact City Hall.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

"Austerity Days" Come to Normal, Mn: Fiction

Just the got the text today that there is a huge celebration in Normal, Mn. this weekend for "Austerity Days." All of the most conservative pundits in the country have been yelling for austerity, yelling that people have too much debt, yelling that it is all the other guys fault----but up in Normal, Mn. austerity has arrived....nobody is spending anything....and the city is set to celebrate.

If you get near Garrison this weekend, just look for the large signs---to celebrate the return of life of the 1950's one store will be selling hamburgers for .25 and also beer will be really cheap...but then it always has been cheap in Normal, Mn. Sure business owners would like you to buy something, but bein that it is austerity days, they will be real laid back on the sales technique. Stop on by. It should be fun.