Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Poor Celebrate the Rise of Estate Taxes: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

It's gonna be a BIG Fiscal Cliff coming January 1st, and I just got the news from Normal, Mn. that they are going to have a special celebration at the Loose Caboose Lounge featuring a very hot Tex Mex band--all to celebrate the return of the Estate Taxes as of January 1st----There was an extensive article on this subject in the Fishermen news report last Wednesday...in fact lots of very well written articles...and it is sure too bad that the financial press has not covered it....the return of the Estate Tax is going to be a real cause for celebration for the average fisherman.

Glorious stock prices for banks, even though year filled with indictments: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Last night at the Church of the Perpetual Fisherman, pastor John went on a little tangent right after describing the poor conditions that the Lord had to endure at the time of His birth, the manger, the hardness of the dirt floor, and the lack of plumbing...and then went on a tangent to describe the state of stocks in America for banks that keep getting indicted for misconduct at the same time the fat cats on Wall Street are making money on hyping their stock prices higher and higher....Pastor John is one who is known for his favorite sermon about the time that the Lord chased the money changers out of the temple....Anyway...right after this tangent, pastor John went on to compare the Wise Men who visited the Lord with the "wise men" of Washington....it was quite a sermon...I just wish you had been there...it was the most exciting thing happening last night in Normal, Mn.

Poor Criticized for not buying more with no money this Christmas: Tales From Normal, Mn.;FICTION

Just got the press release from Normal Minn News today...seems that pundits are saying that the very low increase in retail sales year over year in December 2012 made Christmas a "bust" and it's all the fault of those poor consumers who could have at least been considerate of the rich folks betting on the stock market by at least buying a few more little things to share....Nice.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Faithful urged to listen carefully to the Tape Recorder: Tales From Normal, MN:FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that due to the shortage of pastors, the local supervisor has ordered that no local pastor be allowed to preach the xmas message, but rather, there will be a tape recorded message of the story of the birth of Jesus...just to make sure that there are no incorrect ideas presented...the locals will still be responsible for the collection however...and yes cash and checks are still allowable...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Good Kids Don't Chalk Sidewalks: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the boys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn., where all the coffee is double strong, where all the whipped cream is no charge, and where as a special deal during the holidays, specialty coffee flavors are at regular prices....the boys noted that "Good" kids that wanted to be on the good graces of Santa this year, needed to know that "goodness" now means that you have not chalked any sidewalk during the past year...yes the governor of these here parts has put down his ...foot...and said that this is a misdemeanor crime...and it will be held on the childhood record, and fines will be stiff...because in a world where white collar crime may go unnoticed, and violent crime may be hard to prevent, and slick wall street crime may be hard to detect much less prosecute...sidewalk chalking crime is pretty straight foreward...so beware, and be afraid...the governor is watching...make a note of it.

Giving Away All You Have for a Tax Deduction Praised by Accountants; Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the text from Johnson, Johnson, and Johnson, the revered accounting firm of Normal, Mn., a firm so revered it still utilizes its old IBM computer equipment from the 1960's to do extensive spreadsheet analysis....they just sent out a mass mailing...not an email..to all their clients in the Midwest today..and praised the idea of accelerating equipment purchases into this tax year...under the theory that at least when one gives away all ones money to buy some farm equipment, one knows where the money went...as opposed to having lots of money in the next year, but being unsure of the tax code.... One of the reasons that the accounting profession has survived for ao long, is that Fear and Greed have survived for so long....and if you stop in the accounting firm of Johnson, Johnson, and Johnson during the week between Christmas and New Years, please take off your boots so you do not spread snow and salt on their new marble flooring just installed for the convenience of their customers.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Guys want a "Crash" before they will negotiate: Committed: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Harry, the Crazy Catfishermen from Normal, Mn.-----after a long week of just watching Clint Eastwood movies, he says that he would refuse to negotiate ANYTHING unless all HEXX broke lose, unless the stock market plunged at least a thousand points---then and only then would he think of yielding...his pride would be wounded but he could plead necessity..... The locals here are having Crazy Harry, the famous Catfisherman from Normal, Mn. admitted into the local nursing home for dementia. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Fishermen predict the End of Republican Party if Fiscal Cliff Happens: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn...where all the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge---to a man they predict that if the Republicans allow the fiscal cliff to happen...it will effectively mean their demise....and yes the Dems know it.....This is a scene right out of "Dirty Harry"----go ahead and make my day.......

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Feds Hold 30 Day Meeting to be "Totally Transparent": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn. that the Fed Officials from the monetary department have announced a 30 day meeting beginning tomorrow and in the meeting they will enumerate totally for 30 days what their objectives are, and hope to repeat the terms "fiscal stimulus" and "fiscal cliff" thousands of times till the onlookers are numb...some of the guys drinking coffee, double strong with the whipped cream no extra charge daily at Betty Lou's said outloud that the whole presentation seemed to reek of senility, but the officials just repeated that this was just economics. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Rich Might Leave Town, or Country--Locals Rejoice: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn---seems that the guys were all having coffee this morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, and because it was kinda drizzling out decided to spend the morning talking politics...and FOX News was on the overhead TV, and it seems that one of the guys who was listening told the crowd that the "Rich might leave the country if they have to be taxed like everybody else"----the guys just sat there thinking...and then one of the guys just raised a cup of java in a toast----"Best wishes to all the rich in their new country"----the whole table cheered....and one by one they left the coffee shop...and whenever they spotted a rich taxpayer, driving a new luxury car...they just waved and offered to buy the car for .10 on the dollar, just to make the leaving easier...just a kind offering...and then the news spread, and all across the country..by twitter....that the rich were leaving...and then it snowed...and there was peace at Christmas.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

City gets tough on Spending for Library, Pool, Public Safety---then plans big expansion: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn.---the normal Sunday morning coffee clotch with all the fishermen in attendance...went into a political roundtable mode this morn as then discussed the problem of frozen city budgets---yup...it has affected even the smallest of fishing towns like Normal, Mn. where city employees have had their wages frozen for five years, and where even childrens book purchases are scrutinized by the the local Common Council...and where even it is decided in the highest circles whether an oil change is really needed for the local ambulance.... but...it turns out in all the fiscal discipline...that plans are underway to build a large library addition, add a pool, and even add a $600,000 fire truck...The guys were just bewildered on how governmental entities can make the public be frugal and not repair a public pool, and then decide to have another pool built, another library addition built etc. One guy speculated that the $600,000 fire truck might be needed to reach a cat or two that had climbed up trees or something...in general...the guys are just bewildered.

Wall Street Gurus Stunned: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn---seems that the Sunday morning crowd was chuckling that all last week the savviest of Wall Street TV pundits went on and on that they were totally shocked that the homeless, penniless victims of Hurricane Sandra had not turned out in droves to shop on Black Friday...and that there was a terrible total sales day in the retail sphere due to this happening....needless to say, the ravaged homeless were not surprised.