Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Virtual School Project Delayed; Need to plan some more Brick: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn....seems that the guys were all abuzz at Betty Lou's coffee shop this morn, the coffee shop where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream is no extra charge---the local school board spent several hours considering a new fangled virtual school for their students to get them in the modern age...but in the end, decided to build a new brick addition instead...it seems that there were several brickmasons locally whereas there were no computer savy designers available except in the big cities far away...stay tuned as I follow this story....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Beer enthusiasts rail against Apple lack of creativity: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Lots of the inebrietated guys at the Loose Caboose Bar and Lounge railed at Apple for not being as creative as the beer industry....

Profit Skyrockets as all employees fired: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICTION

Productivity surged as robots were energized....some severe listening bugs caused complaints to plunge as inbound calls on service disconnected....stay tuned..

Folks Cutting Costs on Mars---Not so much elsewhere: Tales From Normal Mn :FICTION

Story developing slowly due to time delay--will keep you informed.

Wall Street Struggles to Define "Smoke in cockpit": Tales From Normal Mn:Fiction

Stay tuned for this developing story

Thursday, January 10, 2013

God Lovin Patriotic Community with Long Tradition of Violence: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that the locals, mostly just the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, who every morning, gather together midst strong coffee and free whipped cream...that these guys were outraged today when they learned that in a recent sociology textbook, their fair, free loving, and beautiful community has been described as a patriotic community with a long Tradition of violence...the guys were shocked...stay tuned as I follow this story.

School Board of School Employees Agreees unanimously to Pay Increases; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the revered Normal, Mn school Board, which has been honored to have all of its members currently serving as teachers in the school district, has voted unanimously for a 10% salary increase effective immediately. There were no dissenters. Stay tuned as i will faithfully follow up on any news of the cost containment efforts of the district, as well as any more long range building projects even though, it must be duly noted that there is a slight problem of population decline, and students leaving the district for more flexible instruction, and online instruction models...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Focus Group Identifies A Strong Tradition of Gunshows and Cheap Booze

Last week was a historic one for Normal, Mn., that sleepy little fishing town in northern Minnesota, and yes, the home of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the bass fishermen go in the morning to chat...and where all the coffee comes double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge... But..the guys are getting older now, and some have failing memories...so just to be sure, last week, the Common Council had a focus group to determine what the heritage of Normal, Mn. consisted of...during the focus group, FREE coffee and donuts were provided by Betty Lou's Cafe---at the end of the focus group, which concluded promptly in one hour, the unanimous agreement of all the participants was that Normal, Mn. has a strong tradition of Gunshows and Cheap Beer. Armed with this information, the next step in the planning process is to develop a marketing campaign. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Illegal Dog Kennel finally solved after 45 Years; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After 45 years of deliberation by the august bodies of administration of Normal, Mn, there has been a determination that there will be an action to rule that indeed there has been a violation of ordinance, and notwithstanding the problem of the parties to the dispute being and having been dead for past ten years, it was necessary to take the full 45 years to make sure that the determination was correct...

Vikings Fans begin to Drink in Celebration of Their Packer Victory: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...that Minnesota Viking fans in the frozen tundra have already begun drinking to celebrate their victory over the Green Bay Packers...and at the rate they have been consuming at the Loose Caboose Lounge in Normal, Mn....they will not even notice if the Minnesota Vikings lose the game...but whatever...I remain faithful...and will report the results..even though at the current rate..it is doubtful that my wonderful faithful Minnesota fans will be able to comprehend the results...stay tuned.

Continuing Low Wage Job Gains Encourages Some: Tales From Normal, Mn.FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that the recent jobs report that lists flat job creation, and mostly low wage job creation at that..is being greeted by investors as positive...it does make you wonder the frame of mind of those floor traders and pundits that are basking in the glow of the lights on CNBC...whether they have any clue of what minimum wage looks like...and not only day to day employment...but hour to hour employment....I think the guys from Normal, Mn. have reached the conclusion that whenever one hears anything from Rick Santelli of the CME Exchange where he rants about the necessity for all the nation to eliminate debt...but neglects whether he wants all ammo to be paid for by cash...until he goes there...and talks about paying for war..just disregard his remarks....that's the latest from Normal, Mn.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Normal University Names "Highest Value" School in Nation...for 45th Straight Year: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the City Council elders of Normal, Mn., who today, for the 45th straight year have voted Normal University the "Best Value School" in the whole nation. There will be a short break after the City Council meeting tonight and folks can cheer over a complimentary cup of coffee...yes catered from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the coffee is double strong, and there is never an extra charge for whipped cream.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

"I just Want a Whistle and $150,000 per game: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from Normal,Mn, that the coach of the Normal, Mn. football team, Tommy Alcatraz, says that he is totally ready for todays game, and that all he needs is the whistle...and $150,000 per game...and oh ya...a few good football players...but with all the excitement,,,and his tremendous motivational skills, Tommy is very confident that if the guys can just restrain from celebrating till the game has been won, everything will be fine...stay tuned as I cover the game with all the pomp and pagentry that Normal, Mn. can muster...with all the fishing floats, and the cheerleaders, and the firetrucks...the cheerleaders will be extensively covered with heavy tundra gear, since it is zero degrees today in Normal, Mn., the fire trucks will still be a primary attraction.

"Football and Cheap Beer Top Concerns for New Year: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got some texts this morn from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where all the bass fishermen from that fair fishing village hang out in the morning hours...and yes when the weather gets nippy, which it is today at zero degrees, they even stretch the coffee klotch on to the early afternoon.... The national networks do not cover this small fishing village, so I just asked the guys what their top concerns were for 2013...To a man there was not one millisecond in hesitation....."Football and Cheap Beer" they responded...in a chorus... In a world of complication, where there are all sorts of "cliffs" to surmount, all sorts of very complicated documents to conquor and comprehend, to the simple bass fisherman, that wonders each morning what that bass might be hungry for today...it gets real simple...and these guys did not list politics in their first 100 noted items... As a side note, the guys all pay cash for their bait..no checks or credit cards allowed...and it is fresh bait....

Cheap Milk Celebrated in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

We got cheap Milk...who needs more: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION Just got the text today from Normal, Mn----where this morning folks are recovering from a serious New Year's celebration at the Loose Caboose Lounge---and when the recovering folks were told today on the TV talk shows that all that had been accomplished in Washington over the past few days was passing a dairy bill that ensured cheap milk....the seriously stoned guys were heard to say: "We got cheap milk...who needs more." It is early...and when they sober up they may have some larger dreams...and I pledge that when they do I will report them faithfully.