Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Friday, June 28, 2013

Annual "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration begins in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn....that today begins the biggest annual celebration of that fair town---the "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration....it is true that most towns just celebrate this event once a century, but here in Normal, Mn....since this event occurs every year, the natural marketing thing to do is to make a tourist event out of it...and the plucky locals in Normal, Mn. have responded...stop by the coffee shop, Betty Lou's for a special cup of the "One Year Mocha" blend that is being sold today for .49 as a special promotion....and by the way, all the scones are 10% off today if you mention the word "floodplain." Stay tuned as I follow the specials that are available today during this precious event...these deals will not return till next year at this time....

Residents Shocked that "Austerity" Might affect THEM: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn....namely the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where the word today was "SHOCK" as the locals were just stunned that the global "austerity" might affect them...they had of course been watching the national tv scandal networks in the morning, noon, and evening, and had chuckled that the French, Brazilians and others were not too happy with the cutbacks...but heaven forbid...the local authorities announced cuts to the fireworks display at the fourth of July celebrations, instead of seven days of fireworks, they would have to settle for three...and to make matters worse, the garbage collection fees were doubled...and at the worst possible time, the Fourth of July, when there were so many bottles to dispose of....there was to be proposed fee for empty beer bottles and cans...and that was putting the guys over the edge... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Wall Street thrilled that Financial Guru still delivers boring pablum: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street was pretty tense today...and worried that some profound change might be eminating from the mouth of the font of wisdom from Washington financial circles...but was overjoyed this afternoon when it appeared that nonsense and vague jargon was still king and that the fear of action was ill conceived...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, June 17, 2013

K-9 Unit So successful, additional educational options considered: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong, with extra sugar, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...it seems that because of the wildly successful K-9 unit at the local police department, additional applications are being considered....maybe canine units will be utilized in the instructional units about drug use.....an alternative is of course to use robots...in both cases the positive is that these applications are union negative...and the cost factor and pension factor are zero, which is the principal qualification lately for hiring...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Politicians seek angry voters to send them money: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where bass fishing lovers gather for coffee each morning...and the word today is that everybody in town is being deluged with emails that are all sounding the same...."Are You Angry? Are you frustrated that your voice is not heard? Send me some money!!!!!" All politicians of both sides of the aisle are sending out nonstop emails to passive voters and internet readers who want to be citizens of action...and giving money is the action that is desired...nice.

Educators seek Charter Flight for all headed to China for "global Vision" enrollment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The entire world has been abuzz with all the Superintendents of school districts that are headed to China so that they can enhance the "Global Vision" of their school districts for the upcoming school year....such is it also for the Normal, Mn. school district, 250 students strong, where the entire administrative staff will head to China for a cultural encounter this summer, and then branch off and visit Paris and Germany in the ever widening search for foreign students, who might find education in the frozen tundra an enriching experience...as a sidenote, these educators would like to get a special charter rate, and would like all educators across the country to contact them so that they can charter a new Boeing 787 with all the amenities, but would of course save off the regular fare...stay tuned as I follow this story....

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Class of 50 has FOUR valedictorians: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from my fisherman friends in Normal, Mn....ya there was some cynicism among the guys that in a town so small, and a senior class of 50, how could there be FOUR valedictorians---but the Assistant Principal, yes there are two administrators in this high school of 250 kids, said that in Normal, Mn they do not go by the bell curve...they let the kids achieve up to their potential, or what goes by potential in them their parts...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Sports Lovers who never attend governmental meetings seek outlet for strong views: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well last weekend, I finally relented and made the long drive, up north of the Twin Cities to Normal, Mn., hoping to get some quiet fishing in...and after a blissful night at the Spruce Goose Motel, where all the rooms have mounted deer on the walls, and all the beds fold down from the wall, and each room has two little mini snickers candy bars under the pillow.....I headed off to Betty Lou's coffee shop on Saturday morn. Kind a different assortment of bass fishermen in that coffee shop on Saturday---all retired and all former athletes from the Normal, Mn high school...none had ever participated in virtually any local civic meeting...they had no time for that..they were too busy watching sports on t.v. or fishing...but they had very strong views on...well pretty much everything...and they...after several cups of coffee, double strong...with sugar...and yes with whipped cream at no extra charge...started shouting at each other about the latest local issue...and it all came down to a key point... "Why won't anybody listen to us?"

Friday, June 7, 2013

Locals excited about rise of temporary employment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the nursing supervisor of the memory care unit of the Mother of Mercy Retirement Home in Normal, Mn.---virtually all of the regular residents were pretty excited today about the jobs report as it was reported on the morning news---that there was an increase in jobs...even though they were mostly temporary....and yes the unemployment rate went up...and the numbers in the stock market kept going up in enthusiasm about the number.....and to a resident they just loved the way the announcer spoke with such enthusiasm...stay tuned as I follow all the economic news events from our local nursing home...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

New Gen X: Shunning Homes, Cars...and next ...FOOD: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICITON

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---where in the early morning hours, right before heading out to fish for bass, they talk about the latest...and the word today was that the next gen, Gen X generation, has given up on buying homes and autos...they are renting and using the bus to make the planet more sustainable...but the other news today---they are beginning to give up FOOD. The guys have speculated it was because so much of the food was packaged and unhealthy eating of stuff like milk, cheese, meat, brats and the like...but some also speculated that their wages meant that they could not afford to buy food....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Media Demand a Market Crash ...to help ratings: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop...that iconic little hole in the wall coffee shop, where all the coffee is double strong, with sugar and the whipped cream is no extra charge...anyway...it seems that the media of Normal, Mn....well mostly just some small community rags...are demanding that there be a market crash immediatley...despite whatever the government pundits say...and the reason the market crash is necessary is to precisely preserve the integrity of those who have been calling for a crash for at least a year now...and yes they have been frustrated that after insisting that "GOLD" was the only safe haven, they have gone ahead and lost much of their portfolio in gold mining stocks...and then after being gutsy and investing in high yielding dividend stocks, wall street has turned on them and said these are bad investments..huh? the locals are simply fit to be tied...they want a crash to make the believers believe that their hope is really in gold and the Almighty..in that order...thank you.