Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

New Stadium for Normal, Mn. named "Harry Carey Stadium": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the surprising text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe....seems that right out of the blue the name "Harry Carey Stadium" was the unanimous choice...not so much because of the person himself, but simply that because of the vast debt that had been incurred building the stadium, which in fact might require a drastic tax increse and reduction in student instruction...in short....the whole mess was harry carrey literally....without a samauri sword...

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Job Openings for Older Women who can sing skyrocket in Wisconsin: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today..encouraging news about the skyrocketing job openings in Madison, Wisconsin for older women who can sing in public, and who have the strength to be arrested in public and pay fines, and must have a passion for social justice and face the possibiity of a short jail stay....pretty nice news from the Wisconsin front about a state that has finally found a way of getting the economy moving again...stay tuned.

Normal, Mn decides to go to CASH: No more borrowing: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, that sleepy fishing town where all the bass fishermen have become national sensations as they chit chat about politics from the coffee shop in the early morning---they have announced that because of the bankruptcy of Detroit, due to the massive level of debt and municipal bonds is the key culprit....Normal, Mn. will borrow no more...well...with the interest rates rising they probably could not borrow anyway...but this now takes a positive spin on it....and in a related move, they have replaced all their modern police cars with older Ford 150's, all equipped with plug in heaters for the frozen tundra, and have also secured a large inventory of replacement parts. They have also told all officers that they are not to speed, and anyway, the older trucks were not to fast anyway....welcome to the new age, the age of cash, the age of frugality....carry on.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

All Joy in Normal, Mn.: Finance Guy says things are NOT better....: Everybody relieved: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text tonight from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn...where all the bass fishermen hang out and tonight they were gathering for a special meeting discussing personal savings for retirement...but all the guys were very upbeat...they had heard on the tv overhead that the head finance guy in the US had said that there will be NO tapering right now since things are...upon further review...not better...there still is lots of unemployment and underemployment...and well...the bass fishermen were really relieved...cause these were things that every able bodied man and woman and child in America know...but it is sure is nice..if once in a while...a big wig knows too...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Financial Pundits recommend allocating entire income to retirement: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the local retirement planning firm in Normal, Mn., The Billy Bob Retirement Firm, that encouraged all local folk to reserve their entire income to their retirement...that a little austerity in the near term was well worth avoiding starvation in their old age...their logic, was that with the yield on safe investments below 1%, it was important for each and every person of Normal, Mn. to amass at least 2 million dollars in their lifetime so that they would possibly get 20,000 annual income...and given that most of the jobs available in Normal, Mn. are minimum wage jobs, thus it was necessary for them to reserve all of their current income in order to achieve their objective... nice...

Monday, July 1, 2013

NSA is listening to everything you say and do in Normal, Mn., and they are confused,,,have questions: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. were discussing the recent development in the spying of ...well...everybody it seems, and they are expecting that with all the kids and adults that use their phones and computers, with a comprehensive analysis of all the content and what folks of all ages are searching for...and exploring...an objective observer might have some questions...so...they are...or were this morning during coffee...thinking that they might someday get a call about something...nothing they know of, but it just occured to them that there could be a question...

City decides to compensate employees with praise, and only incidental compensation: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After a long presentation last week by a motivational speaker that touted the benefits of employee recognition as a way of retaining valuable employees, which was timely since Normal has had a turnover of 100% over the past five years, given that there have been no raises given, the Common Council was so overcome with enthusiasm for the concept of recognition and praise as the cornerstone of....well..everything...that they announced that henceforth they would be compensating employees mostly with praise...and only incidentally with compensation....which was timely since the budget has been cut considerably...Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Gov says folks will love being destitute and it will make them stronger: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well it has been a rough time in Normal, Mn. with all the cutbacks on income...on health care...and well everything...but the state's governor has said that folks will get used to it eventually, and that they will over time become very happy being destitute and without their health...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Alcohol operator liscence issued to every person In town to save time: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys in Normal, Mn. that they came up with a wonderful way to "streamline" government---they would issue the operator liscense to every person at birth and thus save money on administration...nice...