Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Monday, October 28, 2013

Snooping on Everything you have ever done, or thought on the internet---is essential to prevent terrorism__HUH?": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got a tweet from Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn. and it was an anonymous tweet to protect the identity of the tweeter...but he was very amused that everything he has ever thought or emailed has been archived to assemble and make sense of later if needed for national security....And I suppose after they get the letters down, they will work on the numbers and assemble all the financial data....just think you might call them up at tax time to get some advice on how to avoid making mistakes....

Monday, October 21, 2013

Battle breaks out as to which is the most "dementia friendly" city in America: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

News story last Sunday that a small Wisconsin town, Watertown I think, wants to attract new residents by making themselves "Dementia friendly".... Overnight there has been a lot of cities that have weighed in on the competition, and even before understanding the competition...because of all the concussion injuries in some of these athletic bastions of wonder, they feel they deserve at least to be recognized also.

Washinton "Warmongers" suggested as name replacement for Washington Redskins: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they have been listening to the controversy over offensive names for high school, college, and pro football teams...and after listening for a decade, they decided to weigh in---they have suggested that the Washington Redskins name be replaced by the "Washington Warmongers"....frankly...I think the name could catch on...after all the rabid politicos were all hellbent to invade Syria and other countries, regardless of the borrowed cost...but were very much cash cost conscious about spending even a nickel on health care....Finally...a catchy name that we could all agree on..

Thursday, October 17, 2013

"Politician" is a proper diagnosis code for Normal, Mn. Mother of Perpetual Help Hospital: Tales From Normal, Mn.: : FICTION

Administrators have clarified by twitter this morning that no additional diagnosis code will be necessary for politicians admitted for observation this morning....the term politican is real the same as insanity NOC or not otherwise classified.. In other news, all tv's in the cardiac ward will no longer have access to FOX news or CNBC...it was found that heart patients have been experiencing a higher incidence of poor recovery or readmission due to the stress of television ranting.... Stay tuned as I follow all the news from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn....where the only worry is what the fish are hungry for...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Billy Bob Widget Factory announces 541st dividend increase; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Billy Bob Widget Factory...the name that inspires confidence...announced that today it has increased its dividend paid monthly by .000001 per share...this has been the 541st dividend increase in the past 50 years...and has added to the distinction of its cache and other matters of distinction.....and it all means that when you want quality...buy from "Billy Bob".

Everybody is "Going to CASH" in Normal, Mn. : Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---now where NO coffee and scones can be charged on credit...everything is cash...well...it always has been cash at Betty Lou's ....but now there is a sign.... It was just a sign...that from now on...coffee...wars...and other things are going to be cash....yes...ammo will be cash too...and one of the results..might be peace....It is unclear how long ago was the last paid for cash war...it was pre 1776...stay tuned for the research... OK...so you will be living in a paper box...but you will be peaceful? stay tuned as I research this topic.

Political Parties Charged with Stock Manipulation in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---it seems that the local municipal judge of Normal, Mn. has charged that the major objective of the political parties with all their tv ads, and issue ads, has been stock market manipulation...at the very time they were ranting about the excess of debt publicly, the testimony has been received that they were really talking privately of ending the sequester so they could get more spending for their pet projects....they always call it "fairness" which means that when I get my way...that is fair...how nice is that.... The local magistrate further ruled that the misinformation by the national political parties has consituted fraud since the primary purpose of it was to manipulate the public to sell or buy stock in the moment that the parties deemed it good for them to do so..... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Debt Ceiling and "End of Time" Planning merge: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, and in light of the delay and the seeming death wish of current politicians, the bass fishermen suggested that they merge the debt ceiling debate and "End of time" planning, since if the nation defaults on its debt, it will mean the end of all those politicians careers, as well as the end of whatever prosperity the nation has at the present time...in short...financial death, as opposed to the current severe sickness...stay tuned as I follow this story...Some of the legislators have likened going cold turkey as a kind of rapture...and are planning on maybe the clouds parting....

Thursday, October 10, 2013

"You are gonna negotiate or else" ruled to be covered under bullying statute: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Article in development...stay tuned.

Mother Of Mercy Hospital lays off Ethics, Finance, and Marketing depts: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In an effort to spur productivity, by reducing the number of employees to make the top number seem more productive, the Mother of Mercy hospital in Normal, Mn has taken some drastic action....Stay tuned.

"From Cradle to Cremation": the role of schools in our community: Tales from Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the news by tweet today of a new book being released in the bookstores in Normal, Mn....or at least at the one bookstore, "Billy Bob's book and nook Store" on Main Street in Normal, Mn.....seems that by expanding the school grade availability to 1 month old, they have been able to keep the enrollment stable, and then by including all adult education right up to the moment of death...the reimbursement amounts have held stable....Some school districts in the frozen tundra have been shamed by including folks that have already died or in fact been dead for years...I will not touch that issue...it is too hard sometimes to tell the live ones from those that have gone...you just have to know for yourself...stay tuned as I follow this story.

They are Borrowing Long term to give property tax relief..and cash back to friends...nice: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got a text from a fishing buddy from Wisconsin that was visiting Normal, Mn.---he says that in a new moxie governmental move, the governor of Wisconsin is borrowing long term and at the same time promising real estate tax relief and also seems to be using some money for his corporate gifting program....there used to be some thing like this in the 1980's...in the savings and loan business....and good things did not happen....stay tuned as I follow this story...maybe I can get Michael Milliken to write about this if he has got out of prison...stay tuned.

Monday, October 7, 2013

"Always shoot the tires out first" is the standard for pre school cops and robbers: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning---the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. are a little bewildered about what goes for education in the big Washington DC: for years, in fact 50 years, it has been the pride of all the daycare and pre-school programs, that all the kids know, chapter and verse, that when using a water pretend gun, shoot the car tires out first and do not point it at people....the guys were just hoping that maybe somebody from Washington would call for some instruction....

Television Pundit for Indicted Brokerage Firm has stock idea for next week: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop...they were all laughing about the the tv pundit on this mornings talk shows that was from a firm that just last week was found guilty of millions of dollars of securities fraud in the matter or mortgage securities---and presto this morning he presents an idea for his viewers on a special way to make money...the guys just smiled...."There should be a mandatory TIME OUT" one guy shouted...."Ya, there should be a penalty box or something" shouted a guy who loved hockey......"Is there no shame?" shouted one guy...and at once everyone yelled: "NO"

Friday, October 4, 2013

People Leaving Normal, Mn. are urged to come back once in a while to buy gas or ice cream: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text this morning..it seems that lots of people have been leaving Normal, Mn since the fall has set in...and the fishing has tapered off...but locals...still resiliant...and determined ...have urged those that have decided to educate their kids elsewhere...and decided to buy affordable homes elsewhere...and determined to grow elsewhere...to just come back once in a while and buy some gasoline or maybe an ice cream cone...and savor the good old days...nice...

Genius Politicos Guarded by Unpaid Police: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the politicos in Normal, Mn., in an effort to cut costs, have chosen to have their armed police protection not receive pay during the fiscal showdown in Washington....so...unpaid armed police is the new thing.....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Women of Normal, Mn. Propose the "Lysistrata Solution" to Debt Crisis: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news from the ladies of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop--they have gathered together tonight and reminded all of us of the history of Lysistrata: Lysistrata (/laɪˈsɪstrətə/ or /ˌlɪsəˈstrɑːtə/; Attic Greek: Λυσιστράτη, "Army-disbander") is a comedy by Aristophanes. Originally performed in classical Athens in 411 BCE, it is a comic account of one woman's extraordinary mission to end The Peloponnesian War. Lysistrata persuades the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing the men to negotiate peace — a strategy, however, that inflames the battle between the sexes. The play is notable for being an early exposé of sexual relations in a male-dominated society. The dramatic structure represents a shift away from the conventions of Old Comedy, a trend typical of the author's career.[2] It was produced in the same year as Thesmophoriazusae, another play with a focus on gender-based issues, just two years after Athens' catastrophic defeat in the Sicilian Expedition. Based on this research, the ladies of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop have proposed that all the women of America abstain till the budget resolution is passed...How clever....

Football shut down till budget resolution in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this evening from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop--where they have been having a late night session reviewing the options for the resumption of government in Washington---and they decided unanimously that until the government budget is approved, all football events, and all football coverage of all kinds will be shut down in Normal, Mn...and they made the simple point...that if the essentials are not paid for, what is the point of all the diversion....ah those bass fisherman...they are clearly grounded....