Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Saturday, May 31, 2014

"Le P" and "Le PP" open their doors in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal: FICTION

Today the citizens of Normal, Mn. were all abuzz as two historically accurate outhouses, one for men and the other for women were opened in the Normal, Mn. downtown..."Le P" and "Le PP" ...for the technical types, these were "one holers" not "two holers"...they are decorated in classic French decor....pretty unusual here but they go with the new French Bakery launched recently, and also with the new French breakfast spot, which specializes in crepes....all in all this is pretty unusual since this is a historically German community with some English mixed in, with a strong history of preferring beer, brats and beef, in that order...but many of the upstanding citizens hope that visitors from afar will be tempted to come to the community to see the wonderful French culture, and use the French outhouses and be uplifted....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Talking Heads" excited about retail "sentiment" while actual sales Dismal: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Normal, Mn. Chamber of Commerce...where every Monday noon they meet the first of every month to chat about commerce....and this morning they were very pleased to note that the "sentiment" numbers from some study nationally indicates that normal folks are very positive about the idea of buying something...even though they are unable to do so, and have been unable to do so for many years now...they have a burning desire to buy something as soon as the economy turns around, and to a person, they hope this happens before they die...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

"Everyone Agreed--Interest Rates Would Go UP": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. are in the midst of one of their retrospective coffee days---when they bring in all the old newspapers they can find from the past year and compare what the pundits SAID versus what REALLY happened....and they were all smiles when they concluded that all the economists, all the politicians, and all the stock market pundits on CNBC said that it was surely inevitable that interest rates would go up--in fact they have gone down....how nice is that...when every suit is WRONG...savor it.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"Build it and they will come": Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that the economic development department of Normal, Mn. decided to allow the building of a spanking new hotel in Normal, Mn., anticipating that if they built it....customers would come...Pretty convenient that the law office that incorporated the new hotel is just kiddy korner to it....and last week, with the 75 rooms having been vacant for almost a year, the hotelkeeper just went back across the street and filed bankruptcy...and the locals are now wondering about "Build it and they will come."....wondering whether it maybe just applies to baseball in Iowa...stay tuned.

"Car Buyers are still excited about buying defective cars": Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they were sipping their coffee this morning and just were amazed by the story all over the television news...that Americans have heard all about the recalls of defective cars, about the deaths from at least one of the defects...but to a person...according to the news, they are still excited about buying defective cars....speaking of the power of defective thinking...stay tuned

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

"Half of All Brat Purchases are INVALID": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...seems that the CEO of "Alleluia Brats" that is conducting a truly inspirational bratfest this weekend in Normal, Mn. stated that over half of all brat purchases across this fine country are INVALID...and he asserted that the only VALID brat is one that has the name "ALLELUIA" on it....and that a purchase of the Alleluia brat brings all the special add on benefits that distinguish it, and that these brats are available for sale this weekend only in Normal, Mn....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Best of the Best" Graduates are feeling not so good after Party: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn--where all the fishermen this morning have been speculating as to why in the world colleges would schedule commencement and "move out" in the same day...the guys seemed to think that maybe the "move out" on the same day was an attempt to curtail the party mode a bit, but it does appear that still the police are poised at the edge of town to give the students one final ticket as they leave town...a bit of the thorn with the rose as it were.

"Alleluia Bratfest" Comes to Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn : FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---seems that a bratfest was looking for a home, and decided to rename itself "The Alleluia Bratfest" and come to Normal, Mn. for a unique weekend fundraising event...yes I know...the company that had sponsored this event in many localities across the Midwest had been a radical conservative group that progressives everywhere had detested...but now...who can not love a grease laden brat when it has the cache of "Alleluia Brat" and the consumption of which seems to imply the destiny of eternal bliss...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

"450 New Craft Beers---NO new jobs": Tales From Normal, MN: FICTION

Just got the tweet---from the economic development committee of Normal, Mn.---local pubs in Normal, Mn have added 450 new craft beers....but there are NO new jobs to report in this community....and this seems to be the norm in America...stay tuned.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Watching the Graduation on my Iphone: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Today is graduation day in Normal, Mn....and in talking over the day of honor and ceremony, all the bass fishermen commented that over the years, the ceremony has blossomed from a one hour walk across the stage, to a four hour to six hour marathon....and only one guy had the answer...seems that some institutions are offering an option for the parents to watch the graduation via their iphone....and for an extra fee, you can also watch the after graduation parties at local pubs...this 6 hour video is well worth the extra fee....and if the video seems a bit slurred in the audio...relax...it is not the camera...stay tuned.

"Beware of Elevator Video": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn...where it has been snowing a little, cause in Minnesota it is never too late to have a snowstorm in May....over coffee, the guys were trying to understand the recent celebrity incident where several members of a family were caught on elevator video fighting, but thank goodness their bodyguard separated them....they had to smile, cause in Normal, Mn where there are no elevators, still...all the bodyguards are mostly to prevent or stop family matters...make a note of it.

Monday, May 12, 2014

When Polling Booths Tote AK 47s: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn. who meet for coffee at Betty Lou's have suggested that it might be wise, when considering a polling booth, to choose the one with the adult male standing beside it with the AK 47......that is the message coming out of the Ukraine today....and by the way, the results are like an old time comedy stand up show, where the tolling results are just made up...and the numbers do not matter...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Warren Buffett is Done....Lacks Guts: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....who every morning meet at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop to share double strong coffee with no extra charge whipped cream...and today they were in absolute agreement...something pretty rare here...that Warren Buffett is "done", "History" a hasben.....he has said that compensation for KO executives was excessive but failed to vote accorindingly...and in interviews seems to suggest that he was afraid to hurt their feelings...this was open to derision from the bass fishermen here in Normal, Mn...no guts no glory...go ahead and resign Warren...your press clippings cannot carry you...

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Seniors tell Florida governor that he is full of it: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just heard the news today that the governor of Florida had a listening session during which he hoped that the seniors present would "listen" as he told them the terrible consequences of "Obamacare." However...the seniors interrupted him and informed the governor that they were very pleased with the new care program, and took no offense to any supposed reduction to Medicare and that they felt they lived in the United States of America not the States for Seniors only....bravo...well done...it seems the Florida governor was surprised...

Unemployed not worried about "High Wage Inflation": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...senior fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop were pretty amused today as they heard testimony that certain Federal Reserve members were deeply concerned about "high wage inflation"....none of the fishermen was concerned at all...they had been unemployed for so long they could not remember a wage raise much less inflation of wages...they could not believe that folks actually got paid to be amused with concepts such as this and besides to go on tv and talk about it....stay tuned as I follow this story.