Politicians promise to mend all wrongs, return to golden age: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet..seems that the politicians from the frozen tundra have promised, if elected, to repair all the wrongs, replace all the lost income in the past seven years, turn water into wine, and still have wonderful economic development and jobs for everyone....nice...

Church Leader cuts off Mob: Local bishops are silent...still hoping for contributions: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a courageous church leader has called out the Mob for their criminal activity and cut them off from the Church...and the individual faithful, the regular church goers on a daily basis have cheered...the local parish priests have also cheered but their superiors, the bishops have just stayed clam faced and are still hoping for some donations to come their way...stay tuned...

Conservative Politicians decide to Sue Everybody: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the head of the Conservative politicians of Washington, DC has announced that in frustration with not getting his way, he plans on suing all branches of government and all elected officials for not doing their duty to follow his instructions and vote as he has indicated....I would think since all the defendants are lawyers anyway, they will get the message that he is conveying...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Retail and Home Sales Plunge---folks optimistic: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it is the home selling time of the year and yet home sales are down...and retail sales are down too...but...the pundits are still smiley faced...gun sales are up....nice.

City of 500 Celebrates 5000 page municipal code: Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the tweet....the entire city of Normal, Mn. is celebrating next weekend....and they call it "Municipal Code Days"----even though Normal, Mn is a city of only 500 that remain year round, they tout a municipal code that totals 5000 pages, and normally there are two Harvard lawyers that are available on Skype that can help in the interpretation of it....Yes there has been no growth for the past 30 years...but still...the Code is something to be proud of...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Politicians and TV Personalities sought to be "boots on the ground" in Iraq: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...and after a long day of coffee and political talk by the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, they have reached a consensus that if all the TV political personalities and in fact all the politicians themselves would volunteer to be "boots on the ground" in Iraq...two very special things would result...we would have some peace here at home, and they would find some peace there...stay tuned..

Distinguished Church seeks alzheimer candidates for Leadership Opportunity: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....seems that the Church of The Perpetual Fisherman is seeking new applicants for their church leadership, and because they want to begin again, they felt that the candidates with the "cleanest slate" would be those with alzheimer's disease...or at least those who pledge to not remember anything that they are not supposed to remember...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"We're all car dealers now." Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the boys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn---seems that to a man this morning at coffee they all admitted that "we are all car dealers now."...in that every where you go, you hear the buzz,,,"well this item is very expensive, but you can lease it now for a monthly amount of $24...and with that comes the warranty that this is not a defective product, and that you will be satisfied...and the lease goes for 36 months unless you die, in which it is terminated....Whether it is cars, phones, appliances ...whatever....it just made me think....maybe I could lease my old 1996 Toyota Camry with 200000 miles on it...it might be too much for you to buy for cash, but you could lease it for 36 months....and the more I went over the sizzle of the sales presentation...the more I began to like the idea...stay tuned....

Excited to Exchange High Pay for Temp Work: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning---seems Wall Street is pretty excited about the job numbers...they are up...because the folks that had lost their high paying jobs are now getting the opportunity to work temp jobs...and the number folks make NO distinction between the two sets of numbers...one has to wonder about that..I wonder if they are still working on an abacus...stay tuned...the bass fishermen just rolled their eyes when they listened to the news of the financial world...they knew better...they knew about the "bait and baloney spin." as they called it...

Financial Heavy Weights Summit will have keynote "Dance of the Money Changers" Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet...tomorrow at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.,,,at a much heralded meeting of the very pinnacle of financial types from all over the world, who are bass fishing all day, but before that will conduct the urgent business of making serious comments about fiscal policy...well at this meeting, where form and tone is far more important that substance...and in fact this has been the dirty little secret about high level financial types the world over...at the very beginning...before even the introductions of the symposium speakers, there will be a short dance of the money changers...yes it looks like just a Hawaiian dance, but to some financial types it can have a deeper meaning...and well..we will just see what the stock market does with this ominous dance that will occur just before the markets open in New York on Thursday...stay tuned....no live video will be allowed, but I will do my best to convey the nuances of the dance....

Hedge Firm says "Losing" is the key learning Technique: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A hedge fund guru that was up in Normal, Mn. bass fishing last week sat down with the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop...he explained to the fully caffeinated group that losing money was the principal way that regular investors learned...and this really worked well.... since his hedge fund was short most stocks...when investors invested their hard earned cash and lost money, they learned, and at the same time the short hedge funds made tons of money...so a win-win....How sweet.... The guys just smiled...to a man they had given up the intangible investments years ago, and now preferred to invest in bait and gas for their boats...and ya...maybe a pontoon boat for the very successful type....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Cities claim "Cheaper Beer" could get our economy moving again: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from Normal, Mn. where the preparations are underway for the fourth of July ....and this year no stone is being left unturned to ensure that the locals will NOT run out of beer, and more importantly...cheap beer for the holidays...local police are bulking up on "warning" tickets, and smiley faces...and all over the Midwest folks are getting ready for the celebration that is the pinnacle of events for the year.

Everyone Leaving for Seattle: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...seems all buses and trains and planes are filled as citizens from Normal, Mn...and in fact the entire Midwest are leaving for Seattle...where they have passed a $15 minimum wage law....citizens are literally voting with their feet....

Folks buying Bigger Homes to fill them with...cobwebs: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the local fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. are talking this morning about the national news media story that the average new home is even bigger than in the past...because folks are demanding that it be so...and the assumption is that folks with cash want to fill these homes with more and more amenities...and furniture...because they are not filling them with kids....stay tuned....Realtors are silent as to whether any small homes are in demand..

Some Concerned that Illegal Voting will be Curtailed: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the local progressive political action committee, which meets every six months in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....and yesterday, in a short meeting, Louise, the chairperson, noted that with the decline in voting participation in Normal, Mn, which some have said approaches zero, there is a danger that if there is any curtailment or discouragement of illegals voting, there will be no votes to count period....and that the reputation of Normal, Mn. as a sound civic community might be in peril....one person in attendance did note that if there was better transportation options for the residents of the Our Lady of the Perpetual Fisherman Nursing Home this might increase the voting, with the warning that all of these residents needed to have their identification and proper documentation.

"Le P" and "Le PP" open their doors in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal: FICTION

Today the citizens of Normal, Mn. were all abuzz as two historically accurate outhouses, one for men and the other for women were opened in the Normal, Mn. downtown..."Le P" and "Le PP" ...for the technical types, these were "one holers" not "two holers"...they are decorated in classic French decor....pretty unusual here but they go with the new French Bakery launched recently, and also with the new French breakfast spot, which specializes in crepes....all in all this is pretty unusual since this is a historically German community with some English mixed in, with a strong history of preferring beer, brats and beef, in that order...but many of the upstanding citizens hope that visitors from afar will be tempted to come to the community to see the wonderful French culture, and use the French outhouses and be uplifted....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Talking Heads" excited about retail "sentiment" while actual sales Dismal: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Normal, Mn. Chamber of Commerce...where every Monday noon they meet the first of every month to chat about commerce....and this morning they were very pleased to note that the "sentiment" numbers from some study nationally indicates that normal folks are very positive about the idea of buying something...even though they are unable to do so, and have been unable to do so for many years now...they have a burning desire to buy something as soon as the economy turns around, and to a person, they hope this happens before they die...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Everyone Agreed--Interest Rates Would Go UP": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. are in the midst of one of their retrospective coffee days---when they bring in all the old newspapers they can find from the past year and compare what the pundits SAID versus what REALLY happened....and they were all smiles when they concluded that all the economists, all the politicians, and all the stock market pundits on CNBC said that it was surely inevitable that interest rates would go up--in fact they have gone down....how nice is that...when every suit is WRONG...savor it.

"Build it and they will come": Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that the economic development department of Normal, Mn. decided to allow the building of a spanking new hotel in Normal, Mn., anticipating that if they built it....customers would come...Pretty convenient that the law office that incorporated the new hotel is just kiddy korner to it....and last week, with the 75 rooms having been vacant for almost a year, the hotelkeeper just went back across the street and filed bankruptcy...and the locals are now wondering about "Build it and they will come."....wondering whether it maybe just applies to baseball in Iowa...stay tuned.

"Car Buyers are still excited about buying defective cars": Tales From Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they were sipping their coffee this morning and just were amazed by the story all over the television news...that Americans have heard all about the recalls of defective cars, about the deaths from at least one of the defects...but to a person...according to the news, they are still excited about buying defective cars....speaking of the power of defective thinking...stay tuned

"Half of All Brat Purchases are INVALID": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...seems that the CEO of "Alleluia Brats" that is conducting a truly inspirational bratfest this weekend in Normal, Mn. stated that over half of all brat purchases across this fine country are INVALID...and he asserted that the only VALID brat is one that has the name "ALLELUIA" on it....and that a purchase of the Alleluia brat brings all the special add on benefits that distinguish it, and that these brats are available for sale this weekend only in Normal, Mn....stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Best of the Best" Graduates are feeling not so good after Party: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn--where all the fishermen this morning have been speculating as to why in the world colleges would schedule commencement and "move out" in the same day...the guys seemed to think that maybe the "move out" on the same day was an attempt to curtail the party mode a bit, but it does appear that still the police are poised at the edge of town to give the students one final ticket as they leave town...a bit of the thorn with the rose as it were.

"Alleluia Bratfest" Comes to Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn : FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---seems that a bratfest was looking for a home, and decided to rename itself "The Alleluia Bratfest" and come to Normal, Mn. for a unique weekend fundraising event...yes I know...the company that had sponsored this event in many localities across the Midwest had been a radical conservative group that progressives everywhere had detested...but now...who can not love a grease laden brat when it has the cache of "Alleluia Brat" and the consumption of which seems to imply the destiny of eternal bliss...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"450 New Craft Beers---NO new jobs": Tales From Normal, MN: FICTION

Just got the tweet---from the economic development committee of Normal, Mn.---local pubs in Normal, Mn have added 450 new craft beers....but there are NO new jobs to report in this community....and this seems to be the norm in America...stay tuned.

Watching the Graduation on my Iphone: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Today is graduation day in Normal, Mn....and in talking over the day of honor and ceremony, all the bass fishermen commented that over the years, the ceremony has blossomed from a one hour walk across the stage, to a four hour to six hour marathon....and only one guy had the answer...seems that some institutions are offering an option for the parents to watch the graduation via their iphone....and for an extra fee, you can also watch the after graduation parties at local pubs...this 6 hour video is well worth the extra fee....and if the video seems a bit slurred in the audio...relax...it is not the camera...stay tuned.

"Beware of Elevator Video": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn...where it has been snowing a little, cause in Minnesota it is never too late to have a snowstorm in May....over coffee, the guys were trying to understand the recent celebrity incident where several members of a family were caught on elevator video fighting, but thank goodness their bodyguard separated them....they had to smile, cause in Normal, Mn where there are no elevators, still...all the bodyguards are mostly to prevent or stop family matters...make a note of it.

When Polling Booths Tote AK 47s: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn. who meet for coffee at Betty Lou's have suggested that it might be wise, when considering a polling booth, to choose the one with the adult male standing beside it with the AK 47......that is the message coming out of the Ukraine today....and by the way, the results are like an old time comedy stand up show, where the tolling results are just made up...and the numbers do not matter...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Warren Buffett is Done....Lacks Guts: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....who every morning meet at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop to share double strong coffee with no extra charge whipped cream...and today they were in absolute agreement...something pretty rare here...that Warren Buffett is "done", "History" a hasben.....he has said that compensation for KO executives was excessive but failed to vote accorindingly...and in interviews seems to suggest that he was afraid to hurt their feelings...this was open to derision from the bass fishermen here in Normal, Mn...no guts no glory...go ahead and resign Warren...your press clippings cannot carry you...

Seniors tell Florida governor that he is full of it: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just heard the news today that the governor of Florida had a listening session during which he hoped that the seniors present would "listen" as he told them the terrible consequences of "Obamacare." However...the seniors interrupted him and informed the governor that they were very pleased with the new care program, and took no offense to any supposed reduction to Medicare and that they felt they lived in the United States of America not the States for Seniors only....bravo...well done...it seems the Florida governor was surprised...

Unemployed not worried about "High Wage Inflation": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...senior fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop were pretty amused today as they heard testimony that certain Federal Reserve members were deeply concerned about "high wage inflation"....none of the fishermen was concerned at all...they had been unemployed for so long they could not remember a wage raise much less inflation of wages...they could not believe that folks actually got paid to be amused with concepts such as this and besides to go on tv and talk about it....stay tuned as I follow this story.