Peace, Love and serenity survive Xmas :Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

It takes a lot of Care to remove all that snow on the frozen tundra----just got the tweet from the ice fishermen---they just scoffed about the supposed "War on Christmas"---the old guy at Betty Lou's mentioned while sipping an Irish coffee that it seems that love has survived for a couple thousand years despite all the commercial hysteria....

Locals use High Technology to Measure Waist Size: Tales From Normal,Mn: Fiction

Just got the tweet--the locals are ecstatic on their new high tech use to measure increase of waist size---those measuring tapes were so passé---stay tuned as I follow this story...

"Pope" named man of the year: Miley Cyrus named Woman of the year...: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal , Mn.---even after a couple of strong coffee, plus whipped cream, they were bewildered by the news that the woman of the year was Miley Cyrus...they never did understand twerking, but even so....

"Peace" is hard to come by: Tales from Normal, Mn; FICTION

Just got the news today...there has been a total war on the "silent, quiet, sports", like canoeing, and small motor fishing....it seems that folks that have large power boats are threatened by the sail boats, the wind surfers etc, and would feel real bad if they killed them while they were drinking and driving their large power boats at all hours of the day and night...If canoes are a threat...what will be next? Stay tuned as I follow this story. In a larger view, it does seem that peace is a lot harder to get than advertised...ya it was always in short supply, but now seems to be out of stock...

Trouble in Teen Apparel in Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet-----Fishnet Fashions, a prominent teen retailer in Normal, Mn, the center of the tourist travel destination fishing business in the frozen tundra, announced that they had a dismal third quarter, which ended October 30, 2013....They were totally surprised by the outcome, because in "backtesting" the product line, over the past 30 years, it seemed like a great idea.... The guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, all over 60, and all bass fishermen, when contacted over coffee, extra strong, with the whipped cream at no extra charge, just smiled...."Shucks, there have been darn few women period in these parts, much less young women....." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Drone Fisherman" debuts January 1st: Approved by Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The new "Drone Fisherman" was approved by the Normal, Mn. Common Council last night by unanimous consent...just the thought of having a drone monitor the many holes possible in ice fishing made it attractive...they also approved increasing the number of holes fished to 50. There is some skill flying the drone, and classes will be held in the Normal, Minn Vo Tech on this Saturday morning..No drones can be launched unless the instruction is completed and an operating certificate granted...stay tuned...this is the highest tech the tundra boys have ever seen...

"Free Care" defined in Normal, Mn---If the care is interrupted...it is free: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop...one of the guys just got out of the hospital and was delerious about the bill he got...it seems that in the Normal, Mn Perpetual Fisherman hospital, if one's care by a physician is interrupted by a phone call that would harm the care...all the charges are marked "NO charge".....the theory is I presume that interrupted care is negligent care, and must be given away....maybe this policy will spread...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wall Street Says Pope is Wrong---Greed is Good: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.---they were watching the MSNBC finance show this morning when the announcer went into a long tirade about how the Pope was just plain wrong about the minimum wage...according to the announcer, Greed is Good...and slavery is just a special way of making folks independent and strongminded, and well...real role models for the rest of us...stay tuned as I follow this story.

All the Homes are "Rentals" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...everything is temporary now...no long term investments are in order...

The Death of Fast Food: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the shocking news via tweet---all the fast food chains in Normal, Mn. have closed effective today. It just did not work out...Only robots could live on the wages they paid...so a lose lose situation. The customers just got fat and the employees just starved to death...good riddance...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fox News banned from Hospitals in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news today that Fox News has been banned from all hospitals in Normal, Mn....the logic of the physicians was that it does no heart good to listen to all that garbage while recovering from a heart attack or illness...the very first rule of medicine is "Do No Harm" and the very fact that this type of news is on violates the principle of "Health". Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Retailers Just Lie about sales: Tales from Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, where they gather each morning to talk the news, and the fish, at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---the guys were just beaming in amusement today after they heard that the local retailers up in the frozen tundra had pronounced the sales over the Black Friday weekend, to be "NICE"...In most other parts of the country, they put numbers to describe the sales, but up in the frozen tundra, since most of the retailers just lie about their sales anyway....they just stick to the word "NICE."

Financial Pundits advise never leaving home: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Billy Bob's Finance Service, that the latest advice for young grads is to "Stay Home" and save money...let your parents pay...it is best for you that way... The text went on to great lengths to explain that if a youngster wanted to buy a racing bike, a good car, or take some life changing trips abroad, it only would make sense financially if one lived at home so the rent, the tv, the movie channel and the telephone were completely paid for by the parents...that was the secret to a fulfilling life...and yes, I suppose one could make them pay the student loans as well.... stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Spread the Pain--Enjoy the Gain": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

It is the Holiday season---and the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. have just texted me the next strategy of conservatives during this season of joy and peace...it is a little unusual...but they feel that over the long run, say a few decades, it will bring peace and joy to their political persuasion.... The strategy is "Spread the Pain": In the short term, and for many of you this is the rest of your lives..it means that you will not have any health care, or any income benefits to speak of...it will be the real pain...but in the long run...as in decades from now, others will be pleased that their forefathers died with better balance sheets, and leaving less debt for them to cover.. Yes it would have been nice if those wonderful Greatest Generation folks had had this theory earlier, but now that they have passed on their war debts to the Baby Boomers, it is the perfect time to renounce the commitments that previously had been made to the boomers...it adds a new meaning to the word "boom." Remember to spread the Pain...it is the holiday season.

Hockey Players want to Sue somebody, but Cannot remember Who: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the note that down at the courthouse in the frozen tundra of Normal, Mn, the older guys who were hockey specialists, which was most all the guys...they all showed up to file the papers to sue for recovery due to their injuries, but could not remember who to put in the defendant spot....they forgot.

All the "Hot Stars" Wear NO OVERCOATS : Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the coffee shop at Betty Lou's----the latest fad in the frozen tundra is for the young hot movie stars there...or at least the young, hot filling station attendants and bait store clerks, to not wear overcoats...It says in a bold way that they are too hot for normal outerwear....One of the older guys, yes a bass fisherman tried it too, but caught pneumonia...just a note to all you older guys...pharmacy just can't cure stupid...

Smart "Bear" Heggies angry that Dumb "Market Bulls" are making all the money: Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet---it's bad weather on the frozen tundra and the bass fishermen have gathered for a full day conference at Betty Lou's Coffee shop to talk shop and politics---and also makin money....they were just yucking it up today as they were watching a "bear" market advisor on the talk shows who said that according to an efficient market theory, and a full measure of "randomness" it just did not make sense for the market to go straight up without a meaningful correction...why, for it to go straight up was a sign of it being....rigged...fixed...or at least "pumped". If an investor had just bought and held one would have made over 25%. The bass fishermen just smiled and winked...they all knew....

They Would rather be "dumb" than Pay for "News": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got a tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn.---they were all drinking coffee at Betty Lou's and were sharing to a man that they all absolutely refused to pay for online news, no matter how cheap the introductory offer...."I want my news "FREE" one guy shouted--and everyone applauded...and they all agreed that everything seemed a lot more peaceful now that nobody knew anything...there was a real serenity in not knowing all the murders and assaults and shoddy political news too...and they felt a lot better for it...and of course whenever they got bored they could just go to the bar and get the football games on tv...what could be better....stay tuned as I follow the death of the news.

Market Gurus Excited About the positive outlook for cheese, beef and heart disease; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street pundits sounded the praises of cheese today as they became visibly excited about the success of cheese, beef, beer and heart disease---and they also said that prospects for medical professionals that are engaged with weight management and drugs for weight management are particularly promising...they were unsure whether physicians could in the long term be patient with the hand holding necessary for diet and excercise, since the airwaves are so saturated with beer and cheese commercials that one cannot escape the snair of bad habits...so they think drugs might be the proper answer....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Football Phd Program considered ..: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Local educational specialists have been meeting for a three day curriculum conference in Normal, Mn., and have today released a press release indicating that they are seriously considering a Phd program in "Football Studies" for the Normal, Mn. MATC, or as they call it, NATC....Normal Area Technical College...it is affectionatly called "NATCH". In the statement of program design, the distinguished educators said that a community must by necessity consider the major strengths of its character, and aptitude, and since in a thorough review of these factors, the number one asset was the hitting strength of linebackers and the graphics skills of gamers...and when you add them together, it makes for a natural Phd in Football. They did leave open the consideration for Post Doctoral studies for a destination conference in Mexico in 2014. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fifty Ways of Saving More by Buying Everything possible on Black Friday;: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the "Chamber boys" who meet regularly at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---seems that they have a little pamphlet--actually it is so small that it looks like a rolled over napkin, but it headlines the notion that the smartest way to save during the upcoming holidays is to make a daring plunge on Black Friday, get there early, and buy everything...while it lasts... It is hard to remember what life was like before we had the "Chamber" telling us wonderful wisdom on how to live frugally...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Lineman skills and hitting technique essential "Core Skills" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream at no extra charge---seems that a standing room only crowd at the Normal, Mn. School Board Meeting last night rammed through a revision to the "Common Core" standards policy plank to be adopted that insisted that "Linebacker Hitting Skills" be given equal weighting with Math and Science. According to the backers, hitting skills are a perfect complement to the cerebral skills in other subjects, and thus are essential to the well balanced person....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Cold Weather causes Park Bench Panic: Tales from Normal, Mn; FICTION

Just got the text today that because of the nippy weather up in the frozen tundra, and the task focused public works employees ordered to clear and store all the park benches in the fair city, there was a major panic...seems that the city fathers forgot that this "Park bench initiative" was the sole public benefit to the citizens of Normal, and the unemployeed and homeless were counting on these benches, modified of course with some paper insulation, for their long term housing... It was too much of an awakening for all...seems that the countless efforts of the media and TV channels running 24/7 talking up the benefits of not doing anything seems not to have worked...and the federal reserve printing all the money for the wall street types to feast on for their portfolios did not trickle down to anybody...suprise, surprise...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wall Street Gets Excited About Folks Giving Up; About More ShiiJobs; About the Coming Gold Standard: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street had a blowoff up day today after it was learned at the opening of trade that jobs had increased due to the plentitude of poor paying jobs...plus of course the fact that the labor force participation rate has again plunged as folks have given up===but relax.....that is good news to the bond guys and pin striped folks on wall street, who continue to see bad news as good...folks cannot afford to buy anything...but that means that the monied folk will have a better selection...stay tuned...when the equation here is revealed....it will be an old equation...and well known...

Courageous Leaders who will do as they are told sought to run for political office: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn...that local politicos are seeking bright, independent, courageous, intelligent, and hopefully female political candidates to run for office in Normal, Mn....who will also do exactly as the political party wants, and will follow the "YES" and "OK" pattern of conduct when responding to political party leaders...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Robots" provide all the "Caregiving" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...and pretty stunning news indeed...from the Mother of the Perpetual Fisherman Health Care Facility in Normal, Mn---because of the failure of staff to meet the productivity objectives that were set up in the fear of not meeting the cost containment guidelines that were thought possibly necessary if nobody came to the care facility, but subsequently did, causing mass chaos and inefficient delivery of health care, according to the care facility public relations department, which is currently the maintenance department since the public relations department has been terminated, ROBOTS have been secured to deliver care, and there will be continuous monitoring of seriously ill patients by tv cameras observed by physicians in foreign countries...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Snooping on Everything you have ever done, or thought on the internet---is essential to prevent terrorism__HUH?": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got a tweet from Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn. and it was an anonymous tweet to protect the identity of the tweeter...but he was very amused that everything he has ever thought or emailed has been archived to assemble and make sense of later if needed for national security....And I suppose after they get the letters down, they will work on the numbers and assemble all the financial data....just think you might call them up at tax time to get some advice on how to avoid making mistakes....

Battle breaks out as to which is the most "dementia friendly" city in America: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

News story last Sunday that a small Wisconsin town, Watertown I think, wants to attract new residents by making themselves "Dementia friendly".... Overnight there has been a lot of cities that have weighed in on the competition, and even before understanding the competition...because of all the concussion injuries in some of these athletic bastions of wonder, they feel they deserve at least to be recognized also.

Washinton "Warmongers" suggested as name replacement for Washington Redskins: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they have been listening to the controversy over offensive names for high school, college, and pro football teams...and after listening for a decade, they decided to weigh in---they have suggested that the Washington Redskins name be replaced by the "Washington Warmongers"....frankly...I think the name could catch on...after all the rabid politicos were all hellbent to invade Syria and other countries, regardless of the borrowed cost...but were very much cash cost conscious about spending even a nickel on health care....Finally...a catchy name that we could all agree on..

"Politician" is a proper diagnosis code for Normal, Mn. Mother of Perpetual Help Hospital: Tales From Normal, Mn.: : FICTION

Administrators have clarified by twitter this morning that no additional diagnosis code will be necessary for politicians admitted for observation this morning....the term politican is real the same as insanity NOC or not otherwise classified.. In other news, all tv's in the cardiac ward will no longer have access to FOX news or CNBC...it was found that heart patients have been experiencing a higher incidence of poor recovery or readmission due to the stress of television ranting.... Stay tuned as I follow all the news from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn....where the only worry is what the fish are hungry for...