"The Payback"---Fiction

Well...it has been a real bruising political season, so I thought I would take some time off and head on up Hwy 10 north of the Twin Cities, up just south of Garrison and west of the land of Lake Woebegone to my favorite getaway town, Normal, Mn..

Herman, my old countryboy lawyer friend, who also was prominent on the Normal School board, promised to meet me at the Hideaway Lounge and go over exaclty where I had gone wrong in my political campaign. I was eager to hear everything he had so say. He always was real direct. When I got there...he was ready. He had a Jack Daniels ordered before I had a chance to order.

"Sit Down," Wolfman, Herman said. "Gulp that down cause we just have a few minutes before we have to handle a little "payback."

"Whatever do you mean, Herman?", I asked.

"We have to collect some info for some special energy assistance grants and community development block grants. We have a real strong habit of getting all those wrapped up right after elections. We need to get the "payback" figured right."

I had heard a lot on the payback issues, cause I knew that windows and doors and heating improvements had to have a proper payback in order to justify the investment---sometimes it is called in tech lingo--"the contribution"---

"Yup," Herman said, "Its a real smooth dance step. You know this hip,hop dance stuff, Wolfman. First the contribution. Then the payback. Back and forth. Back and forth."

"I still don't think you get it, Wolfman". It's not about the ROI on the windows. We could care less about that. It is the payback of the campaign contribution that is the focus."

Then Herman lowered his voice and proceeded to draw on a blank napkin with an old pen and diagrammed how the contribution would be paid back with an attractive multiple in the form of a tax free grant approved by folks of similar persuasion post election.

I was thoroughly stunned.

It sure is good to get back to good old Wisconsin. Where the payback is just about the windows and the investment and not about the contribution and the dance step. It sure is confusing up there in those frozen tundra parts.