Dateline Normal: Pastor Hickenmueller Destroys His Sermons

Well it has been hectic getting ready for the Holidays, and also getting through all those Presidential debates of the past months----I had read all the news articles about the presidential candidate that when asked about all his prior sermons as an evangelical, simply said they were not available. What a shock! I have been saving and recording sermons for historical record my whole life..... Some to treasure..... Just in case the immediate as well as the long term memory fades.....

Whenever I come across a mystery such as this, as I often do, I simply call my old friend Herman, the countryboy lawyer in Normal, Mn., a small fishing town just south of Garrison, and west of the Land of Lake Woebegone. Herman was a lawyer, and while he was not a regular Churchgoer, nevertheless, was an expert in amnesia on the stand in the courtroom. I figured he might be of some help.

"Herman," I blurted out, "I am just dumbfounded by the story of the presidential candidate that has not made his religious sermons available for the press. Have you ever heard of such a thing."

"Shucks, Wolfman,(that's what he always called me) that type of thang is just commonplace. Why we had a pastor up here in Normal from the Evangelical Pentacostal Church, Pastor Hickenmueller, that right in the middle of one of his sermons, right after he called on the Name of the Lord to cast out evil amongst us, was.....well...struck speechless."

At first we thought it was just dramatic technique---after all, the good Pastor had been a volunteer who constructed the stage sets at the local Normal High School theatrical productions....and folks just thought he might have wanted to do a little dramatic interpretation. But not so.....

We were lucky though---the only doctor in town, Dr. Goodenough, was luckily in attendance that fateful morn, and he stepped forward to diagnosis the situation. He quickly called for the ambulance, and simply said that the good pastor had suffered a mild thrombis or stroke, and ....well.....the entire congregation was speechless."

"But Herman, "I protested, "there is a huge difference between running for political office and forgetting...and suffering a stroke and being left deaf and dumb."

"Not really Wolfman. It is pretty much the same up here in Normal."

It sure is good to be back in our fair city. Where folks do not need a thrombosis to forget. Where pastors are especially cautious on calling on the Lord to cast out all evil, without being more specific. Where there is really a big difference between being struck deaf and dumb and running for political office. It sure is good to be back home.