Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Saturday, October 30, 2010

"Ya Wannna Return to the Abyss or What?: The Coney Island Close: Election Style: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Last night was pretty stunning at the local bar in Normal, Mn., the Hideaway Lounge...the Castaways, the older but wiser rock band from the 60's..yes.... gray haired and older but wiser for it...were playing as they usually do on the Friday night before election day.....

A lot of the locals were pretty stoked up about the local election and then the topic turned to the national scene. One after another they all stood up and rooted for less debt,,,less government....and such. Then a younger guy, maybe just 21 or so, who had been listening intently just stood up and asked....

So ya wanna return to the abyss or wah?

Dead silence.

It was the coney island close...I remembered it from the days on Wall Street. And yes...it was the essential question for the day. Stay tuned as I develop this story.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION: City wins sustainability Award and High Foreclosure Award

Hard to understand it I suppose. Normal, Mn. is just real proud of its National sustainability Award today---the birds and the fish have done real proud by themselves, but the people have led the nation in foreclosure...stay tuned as I develop the story of how this happened.

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Local Young Republicans looking forward to new disasters in development: FICTION

Pretty shocking news out of Normal, Mn....local young Republicans have reviewed the abyss that they presented to Pres Obama at his election, and now are formulating new disasters to challenge him even further

....it has been widely speculated that they cannot wait till they can turn Social Security over to some closely related hedge fund managers...and be rest assured they will send each and every senior citizen a proper "options" fair disclosure booklet in large print...

... and the sharp hedge funds managers are devising a very special option they are calling the "strangle spread" as opposed to the "straddle". They are promising some pretty amazing results.

Stay tuned.

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Local Builder hailed as "visionary" for building more small, cheap homes: FICTION

The local Chamber of Commerce of Normal, Mn today honored Billy Bob Johnson, builder, for his courage under fire for continuing to build his trademark small, cheap, fiberboard homes during a time when half the town was already for sale.

Stay tuned for this developing story.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Concealed Carry Fans desparate for Longer Apparel: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Every since the recent Bank heist reinactment at Northfield, Mn. recently featuring the Jesse James gang, where all the riders rode into town in their sleek light tan dust jackets, there has been a rush of all decent gun toting followers to find those longer fitting jackets for concealed carry...

The whole point of the reinactment was the courage of the banker who foiled the robbery, but it seems that bystanders only got the message of how well dressed the banditos were. Stay tuned while we follow this story.

Wind Lifts Roof off Normal High School: Classes Cancelled: Football Game Still goes on: FICTION

Still getting details but it appears that the local football conference, in it's bylaws only excuses the players and teams in the event of nuclear war, and then only if permission is granted.

Duluth Trading Flagship Store Now Open!

Duluth Trading Flagship Store Now Open!

Dateline Normal, Mn: "Local School District will reduce budgets only if and when every house is foreclosed ": FICTION

Shocking news from the Normal, Mn. School District last night sent to me via text from Herman, the local countryboylawyer friend and fisherman, that the local school board noted in setting the tax levy last night, that they would entertain a motion to reduce expenditures only if it was brought to their attention offically by the local sheriff that each and every property in the district had been foreclosed on. They indicated that their financial planner had told them that they needed to protect themselves and their revenue until the final moment.

Stay tuned. More details forthcoming.

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Local Dignitaries petition for National Historic Status for local swamp: FICTION

After an extensive examination of all available structures in the fair city of Normal, Mn., and after checking the list twice to double check for any errors, the revered elders of Normal, Mn. have decided to petition the Federal Government for historic status for the local swamp.....a revered space that some locals have in hushed tones and prayerlike countenance called "low land", or as some have called it with votive like sounds, "floodfringe."

The locals have petitioned their local political representatives to gather their indications of support and of course all of us will be waiting patiently for the honored government to bestow the status of our dreams sometime in the future. Stay tuned.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Dateline Normal, Mn.: "Lawyers examining foreclosure mess closely...will resolve in twenty years or so when fee income is maximized" FICTION

Received this shocking text from Herman this morning from Normal, Mn. It seems that every lawyer in America is deeply concerned with the foreclosure mess and now expecially when the homes have been taken from their owners, and the banks are paying for the legal untangling, the more of a mess it is the better it becomes....stay tuned while I cover this story.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Dateline Normal, Mn.: City cancels Youth Funding; Closes Library: Adds Historic Districts and Cemetary Theatre: Fiction

Just a brief text from Herman from Normal, Mn. detailing the budget priorities of Normal, Mn. in this time of crisis. Unsure of what the city was thinking. Unsure if they could provide details, but will try to gather the news for my readers. Stay tuned.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Nursing Homes Close in Normal, Mn.: Dying at home or on the street preferred health model: FICTION

Pretty stunning news today from Normal, MN.: due to declining funding from state sources, all of the nursing homes in Normal, Mn. will be closed at the end of the month. All efforts will be made to find a place for these folks at a home of a relative or on the street. Stay tuned.

The action was touted to be the latest in health care modeling for the future.

Republicans Pledge to Repent if elected; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Despite admitting having obstructed all types of financial reform following the recent financial crash, local Republican candidate, Billy Bob, has announced that if elected, he will repent and consider some type of reform...to be specified after he is elected.

During the question and answer period, he refused to comment on the irony of his now seeking to blame those who had tried to reform Wall Street earlier, except he did say that they were not the right people to get credit for reform...he wanted to be the one...

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Candidate boldly advocates concealing guns---and ideas too: FICTION

Last night at the local Normal, Mn. campaign debate, one candidate, who represents the more conservative view, boldly asserted the right to conceal guns, and also boldly asserted the right to conceal his ideas until after the election---and he muttered something about Atlas Shrugged never spoke about his ideas being the man of action that he was.....stay tuned for details....the audio was pretty slurred and I am still trying to confirm his exact words....

Saturday, October 16, 2010

"Restore America to the days of Spiro Agnew" and other funny stories: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Trying to write this story and get the details right about how them olden days would look if we could just be "restored". Stay tuned.

True Believer arrested for only wearing American made clothes: Police say needs more than belts and shoes: Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Breaking news from Normal, Mn.: A man...certainly a guy who meant well...just insisted on being a loyal American and buying only American made clothes....

The police up in these rural parts, being understanding and all, insisted on him finding more than just a belt and shoes. Stay tuned for this breaking story.

"Fatcat Republicans think switch to barwhisky is austerity measure: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

This story is in development. I want to see what happens tonight after halftime in the football game. If the switch to barscotch happens I will advise.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Feingold TKO's Ron Johnson in Debate: Dazed Johnson wants to call it a draw: FICTION: Tales From Normal, Mn.

All of the folks from Normal, Mn were gathered together recently to watch the first debate of Russ Feingold and Ron Johnson....It was a hushed crowd that waited throughout the debate for Johnson to make a clearly articulated argument against the agile Feingold....The assembled crowd scored the fight 7-1 for Feingold...with the one vote cast because of what one viewer thought excessive piling on toward the end of the debate when the score became lopsided.

The local papers have the spun the debate that both candidates "held their ground" but locals know that only Johnson was on the ground and facing up.
Stay tuned for this developing story.

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Seniors eliminate Fitness Area; Need larger Bar: Eliminate Bathroom; Add large bushes: FICTION

Well it has been a busy time in Normal, Mn., with the groundbreaking of the new Normal Senior Center...and just at the last minute, the leaders announced that the fitness area had been eliminated. Responding to the current situation where seniors were having their social security checks frozen and concluding that there might be inceased demand for liquor.... acting strictly on a free enterprise model, designers acted boldly to eliminate the fitness area..... which was not as profitable as straight bar liquor.

In related news, they eliminated a bathroom also, citing the fact that there were new added bushes outside. Landscapings was just cheaper and more cost effective than plumbing.

Stay tuned. This is a developing story.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Dateline Normal, Mn.: Republicans Panic over Military Unemployment-----FICTION

Just got the text from my old friend Herman in Normal, Mn. that local guys paniced last night during a band intermission, well the veterans and military guys at the Hideaway Lounge felt that there might be some unemployment coming down the road for military folks---but relax they began a frenzied discussion of how to start some more wars to keep their economy going....stay tuned for this breaking story.