"We are in Solid Financial Position but...cannot give any workers ANY raise"; Tales From Normal, Mn.; Fiction

I was thrilled and disappointed in the same moment to get a text from my old friend Herman, the lawyer from Normal, Mn. It seems that the mayor of Normal, Mn gave a rousing speech to city staff last week telling them that the finances of Normal were "very solid" , but that there would be no raises....it seems that all the money needed to be spent for infrastructure for...new houses...that could go along with all the other unsold homes currently in Normal, Mn....