Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Peace, Love and serenity survive Xmas :Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

It takes a lot of Care to remove all that snow on the frozen tundra----just got the tweet from the ice fishermen---they just scoffed about the supposed "War on Christmas"---the old guy at Betty Lou's mentioned while sipping an Irish coffee that it seems that love has survived for a couple thousand years despite all the commercial hysteria....

Locals use High Technology to Measure Waist Size: Tales From Normal,Mn: Fiction

Just got the tweet--the locals are ecstatic on their new high tech use to measure increase of waist size---those measuring tapes were so passé---stay tuned as I follow this story...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

"Pope" named man of the year: Miley Cyrus named Woman of the year...: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal , Mn.---even after a couple of strong coffee, plus whipped cream, they were bewildered by the news that the woman of the year was Miley Cyrus...they never did understand twerking, but even so....

"Peace" is hard to come by: Tales from Normal, Mn; FICTION

Just got the news today...there has been a total war on the "silent, quiet, sports", like canoeing, and small motor fishing....it seems that folks that have large power boats are threatened by the sail boats, the wind surfers etc, and would feel real bad if they killed them while they were drinking and driving their large power boats at all hours of the day and night...If canoes are a threat...what will be next? Stay tuned as I follow this story. In a larger view, it does seem that peace is a lot harder to get than advertised...ya it was always in short supply, but now seems to be out of stock...

Trouble in Teen Apparel in Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet-----Fishnet Fashions, a prominent teen retailer in Normal, Mn, the center of the tourist travel destination fishing business in the frozen tundra, announced that they had a dismal third quarter, which ended October 30, 2013....They were totally surprised by the outcome, because in "backtesting" the product line, over the past 30 years, it seemed like a great idea.... The guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, all over 60, and all bass fishermen, when contacted over coffee, extra strong, with the whipped cream at no extra charge, just smiled...."Shucks, there have been darn few women period in these parts, much less young women....." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, December 9, 2013

"Drone Fisherman" debuts January 1st: Approved by Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The new "Drone Fisherman" was approved by the Normal, Mn. Common Council last night by unanimous consent...just the thought of having a drone monitor the many holes possible in ice fishing made it attractive...they also approved increasing the number of holes fished to 50. There is some skill flying the drone, and classes will be held in the Normal, Minn Vo Tech on this Saturday morning..No drones can be launched unless the instruction is completed and an operating certificate granted...stay tuned...this is the highest tech the tundra boys have ever seen...

"Free Care" defined in Normal, Mn---If the care is interrupted...it is free: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee shop...one of the guys just got out of the hospital and was delerious about the bill he got...it seems that in the Normal, Mn Perpetual Fisherman hospital, if one's care by a physician is interrupted by a phone call that would harm the care...all the charges are marked "NO charge".....the theory is I presume that interrupted care is negligent care, and must be given away....maybe this policy will spread...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wall Street Says Pope is Wrong---Greed is Good: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.---they were watching the MSNBC finance show this morning when the announcer went into a long tirade about how the Pope was just plain wrong about the minimum wage...according to the announcer, Greed is Good...and slavery is just a special way of making folks independent and strongminded, and well...real role models for the rest of us...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

All the Homes are "Rentals" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...everything is temporary now...no long term investments are in order...

The Death of Fast Food: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the shocking news via tweet---all the fast food chains in Normal, Mn. have closed effective today. It just did not work out...Only robots could live on the wages they paid...so a lose lose situation. The customers just got fat and the employees just starved to death...good riddance...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Fox News banned from Hospitals in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news today that Fox News has been banned from all hospitals in Normal, Mn....the logic of the physicians was that it does no heart good to listen to all that garbage while recovering from a heart attack or illness...the very first rule of medicine is "Do No Harm" and the very fact that this type of news is on violates the principle of "Health". Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Retailers Just Lie about sales: Tales from Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, where they gather each morning to talk the news, and the fish, at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---the guys were just beaming in amusement today after they heard that the local retailers up in the frozen tundra had pronounced the sales over the Black Friday weekend, to be "NICE"...In most other parts of the country, they put numbers to describe the sales, but up in the frozen tundra, since most of the retailers just lie about their sales anyway....they just stick to the word "NICE."

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Financial Pundits advise never leaving home: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Billy Bob's Finance Service, that the latest advice for young grads is to "Stay Home" and save money...let your parents pay...it is best for you that way... The text went on to great lengths to explain that if a youngster wanted to buy a racing bike, a good car, or take some life changing trips abroad, it only would make sense financially if one lived at home so the rent, the tv, the movie channel and the telephone were completely paid for by the parents...that was the secret to a fulfilling life...and yes, I suppose one could make them pay the student loans as well.... stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Spread the Pain--Enjoy the Gain": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

It is the Holiday season---and the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. have just texted me the next strategy of conservatives during this season of joy and peace...it is a little unusual...but they feel that over the long run, say a few decades, it will bring peace and joy to their political persuasion.... The strategy is "Spread the Pain": In the short term, and for many of you this is the rest of your lives..it means that you will not have any health care, or any income benefits to speak of...it will be the real pain...but in the long run...as in decades from now, others will be pleased that their forefathers died with better balance sheets, and leaving less debt for them to cover.. Yes it would have been nice if those wonderful Greatest Generation folks had had this theory earlier, but now that they have passed on their war debts to the Baby Boomers, it is the perfect time to renounce the commitments that previously had been made to the boomers...it adds a new meaning to the word "boom." Remember to spread the Pain...it is the holiday season.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hockey Players want to Sue somebody, but Cannot remember Who: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the note that down at the courthouse in the frozen tundra of Normal, Mn, the older guys who were hockey specialists, which was most all the guys...they all showed up to file the papers to sue for recovery due to their injuries, but could not remember who to put in the defendant spot....they forgot.

All the "Hot Stars" Wear NO OVERCOATS : Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the coffee shop at Betty Lou's----the latest fad in the frozen tundra is for the young hot movie stars there...or at least the young, hot filling station attendants and bait store clerks, to not wear overcoats...It says in a bold way that they are too hot for normal outerwear....One of the older guys, yes a bass fisherman tried it too, but caught pneumonia...just a note to all you older guys...pharmacy just can't cure stupid...

Monday, November 25, 2013

Smart "Bear" Heggies angry that Dumb "Market Bulls" are making all the money: Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet---it's bad weather on the frozen tundra and the bass fishermen have gathered for a full day conference at Betty Lou's Coffee shop to talk shop and politics---and also makin money....they were just yucking it up today as they were watching a "bear" market advisor on the talk shows who said that according to an efficient market theory, and a full measure of "randomness" it just did not make sense for the market to go straight up without a meaningful correction...why, for it to go straight up was a sign of it being....rigged...fixed...or at least "pumped". If an investor had just bought and held one would have made over 25%. The bass fishermen just smiled and winked...they all knew....

Saturday, November 23, 2013

They Would rather be "dumb" than Pay for "News": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got a tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn.---they were all drinking coffee at Betty Lou's and were sharing to a man that they all absolutely refused to pay for online news, no matter how cheap the introductory offer...."I want my news "FREE" one guy shouted--and everyone applauded...and they all agreed that everything seemed a lot more peaceful now that nobody knew anything...there was a real serenity in not knowing all the murders and assaults and shoddy political news too...and they felt a lot better for it...and of course whenever they got bored they could just go to the bar and get the football games on tv...what could be better....stay tuned as I follow the death of the news.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Market Gurus Excited About the positive outlook for cheese, beef and heart disease; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street pundits sounded the praises of cheese today as they became visibly excited about the success of cheese, beef, beer and heart disease---and they also said that prospects for medical professionals that are engaged with weight management and drugs for weight management are particularly promising...they were unsure whether physicians could in the long term be patient with the hand holding necessary for diet and excercise, since the airwaves are so saturated with beer and cheese commercials that one cannot escape the snair of bad habits...so they think drugs might be the proper answer....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Football Phd Program considered ..: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Local educational specialists have been meeting for a three day curriculum conference in Normal, Mn., and have today released a press release indicating that they are seriously considering a Phd program in "Football Studies" for the Normal, Mn. MATC, or as they call it, NATC....Normal Area Technical College...it is affectionatly called "NATCH". In the statement of program design, the distinguished educators said that a community must by necessity consider the major strengths of its character, and aptitude, and since in a thorough review of these factors, the number one asset was the hitting strength of linebackers and the graphics skills of gamers...and when you add them together, it makes for a natural Phd in Football. They did leave open the consideration for Post Doctoral studies for a destination conference in Mexico in 2014. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fifty Ways of Saving More by Buying Everything possible on Black Friday;: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the "Chamber boys" who meet regularly at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---seems that they have a little pamphlet--actually it is so small that it looks like a rolled over napkin, but it headlines the notion that the smartest way to save during the upcoming holidays is to make a daring plunge on Black Friday, get there early, and buy everything...while it lasts... It is hard to remember what life was like before we had the "Chamber" telling us wonderful wisdom on how to live frugally...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Lineman skills and hitting technique essential "Core Skills" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream at no extra charge---seems that a standing room only crowd at the Normal, Mn. School Board Meeting last night rammed through a revision to the "Common Core" standards policy plank to be adopted that insisted that "Linebacker Hitting Skills" be given equal weighting with Math and Science. According to the backers, hitting skills are a perfect complement to the cerebral skills in other subjects, and thus are essential to the well balanced person....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Cold Weather causes Park Bench Panic: Tales from Normal, Mn; FICTION

Just got the text today that because of the nippy weather up in the frozen tundra, and the task focused public works employees ordered to clear and store all the park benches in the fair city, there was a major panic...seems that the city fathers forgot that this "Park bench initiative" was the sole public benefit to the citizens of Normal, and the unemployeed and homeless were counting on these benches, modified of course with some paper insulation, for their long term housing... It was too much of an awakening for all...seems that the countless efforts of the media and TV channels running 24/7 talking up the benefits of not doing anything seems not to have worked...and the federal reserve printing all the money for the wall street types to feast on for their portfolios did not trickle down to anybody...suprise, surprise...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Wall Street Gets Excited About Folks Giving Up; About More ShiiJobs; About the Coming Gold Standard: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street had a blowoff up day today after it was learned at the opening of trade that jobs had increased due to the plentitude of poor paying jobs...plus of course the fact that the labor force participation rate has again plunged as folks have given up===but relax.....that is good news to the bond guys and pin striped folks on wall street, who continue to see bad news as good...folks cannot afford to buy anything...but that means that the monied folk will have a better selection...stay tuned...when the equation here is revealed....it will be an old equation...and well known...

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Courageous Leaders who will do as they are told sought to run for political office: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn...that local politicos are seeking bright, independent, courageous, intelligent, and hopefully female political candidates to run for office in Normal, Mn....who will also do exactly as the political party wants, and will follow the "YES" and "OK" pattern of conduct when responding to political party leaders...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Robots" provide all the "Caregiving" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...and pretty stunning news indeed...from the Mother of the Perpetual Fisherman Health Care Facility in Normal, Mn---because of the failure of staff to meet the productivity objectives that were set up in the fear of not meeting the cost containment guidelines that were thought possibly necessary if nobody came to the care facility, but subsequently did, causing mass chaos and inefficient delivery of health care, according to the care facility public relations department, which is currently the maintenance department since the public relations department has been terminated, ROBOTS have been secured to deliver care, and there will be continuous monitoring of seriously ill patients by tv cameras observed by physicians in foreign countries...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Snooping on Everything you have ever done, or thought on the internet---is essential to prevent terrorism__HUH?": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got a tweet from Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn. and it was an anonymous tweet to protect the identity of the tweeter...but he was very amused that everything he has ever thought or emailed has been archived to assemble and make sense of later if needed for national security....And I suppose after they get the letters down, they will work on the numbers and assemble all the financial data....just think you might call them up at tax time to get some advice on how to avoid making mistakes....

Monday, October 21, 2013

Battle breaks out as to which is the most "dementia friendly" city in America: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

News story last Sunday that a small Wisconsin town, Watertown I think, wants to attract new residents by making themselves "Dementia friendly".... Overnight there has been a lot of cities that have weighed in on the competition, and even before understanding the competition...because of all the concussion injuries in some of these athletic bastions of wonder, they feel they deserve at least to be recognized also.

Washinton "Warmongers" suggested as name replacement for Washington Redskins: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---they have been listening to the controversy over offensive names for high school, college, and pro football teams...and after listening for a decade, they decided to weigh in---they have suggested that the Washington Redskins name be replaced by the "Washington Warmongers"....frankly...I think the name could catch on...after all the rabid politicos were all hellbent to invade Syria and other countries, regardless of the borrowed cost...but were very much cash cost conscious about spending even a nickel on health care....Finally...a catchy name that we could all agree on..

Thursday, October 17, 2013

"Politician" is a proper diagnosis code for Normal, Mn. Mother of Perpetual Help Hospital: Tales From Normal, Mn.: : FICTION

Administrators have clarified by twitter this morning that no additional diagnosis code will be necessary for politicians admitted for observation this morning....the term politican is real the same as insanity NOC or not otherwise classified.. In other news, all tv's in the cardiac ward will no longer have access to FOX news or CNBC...it was found that heart patients have been experiencing a higher incidence of poor recovery or readmission due to the stress of television ranting.... Stay tuned as I follow all the news from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn....where the only worry is what the fish are hungry for...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Billy Bob Widget Factory announces 541st dividend increase; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Billy Bob Widget Factory...the name that inspires confidence...announced that today it has increased its dividend paid monthly by .000001 per share...this has been the 541st dividend increase in the past 50 years...and has added to the distinction of its cache and other matters of distinction.....and it all means that when you want quality...buy from "Billy Bob".

Everybody is "Going to CASH" in Normal, Mn. : Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.---now where NO coffee and scones can be charged on credit...everything is cash...well...it always has been cash at Betty Lou's ....but now there is a sign.... It was just a sign...that from now on...coffee...wars...and other things are going to be cash....yes...ammo will be cash too...and one of the results..might be peace....It is unclear how long ago was the last paid for cash war...it was pre 1776...stay tuned for the research... OK...so you will be living in a paper box...but you will be peaceful? stay tuned as I research this topic.

Political Parties Charged with Stock Manipulation in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---it seems that the local municipal judge of Normal, Mn. has charged that the major objective of the political parties with all their tv ads, and issue ads, has been stock market manipulation...at the very time they were ranting about the excess of debt publicly, the testimony has been received that they were really talking privately of ending the sequester so they could get more spending for their pet projects....they always call it "fairness" which means that when I get my way...that is fair...how nice is that.... The local magistrate further ruled that the misinformation by the national political parties has consituted fraud since the primary purpose of it was to manipulate the public to sell or buy stock in the moment that the parties deemed it good for them to do so..... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Debt Ceiling and "End of Time" Planning merge: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, and in light of the delay and the seeming death wish of current politicians, the bass fishermen suggested that they merge the debt ceiling debate and "End of time" planning, since if the nation defaults on its debt, it will mean the end of all those politicians careers, as well as the end of whatever prosperity the nation has at the present time...in short...financial death, as opposed to the current severe sickness...stay tuned as I follow this story...Some of the legislators have likened going cold turkey as a kind of rapture...and are planning on maybe the clouds parting....

Thursday, October 10, 2013

"You are gonna negotiate or else" ruled to be covered under bullying statute: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Article in development...stay tuned.

Mother Of Mercy Hospital lays off Ethics, Finance, and Marketing depts: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In an effort to spur productivity, by reducing the number of employees to make the top number seem more productive, the Mother of Mercy hospital in Normal, Mn has taken some drastic action....Stay tuned.

"From Cradle to Cremation": the role of schools in our community: Tales from Normal, MN.: FICTION

Just got the news by tweet today of a new book being released in the bookstores in Normal, Mn....or at least at the one bookstore, "Billy Bob's book and nook Store" on Main Street in Normal, Mn.....seems that by expanding the school grade availability to 1 month old, they have been able to keep the enrollment stable, and then by including all adult education right up to the moment of death...the reimbursement amounts have held stable....Some school districts in the frozen tundra have been shamed by including folks that have already died or in fact been dead for years...I will not touch that issue...it is too hard sometimes to tell the live ones from those that have gone...you just have to know for yourself...stay tuned as I follow this story.

They are Borrowing Long term to give property tax relief..and cash back to friends...nice: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got a text from a fishing buddy from Wisconsin that was visiting Normal, Mn.---he says that in a new moxie governmental move, the governor of Wisconsin is borrowing long term and at the same time promising real estate tax relief and also seems to be using some money for his corporate gifting program....there used to be some thing like this in the 1980's...in the savings and loan business....and good things did not happen....stay tuned as I follow this story...maybe I can get Michael Milliken to write about this if he has got out of prison...stay tuned.

Monday, October 7, 2013

"Always shoot the tires out first" is the standard for pre school cops and robbers: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning---the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. are a little bewildered about what goes for education in the big Washington DC: for years, in fact 50 years, it has been the pride of all the daycare and pre-school programs, that all the kids know, chapter and verse, that when using a water pretend gun, shoot the car tires out first and do not point it at people....the guys were just hoping that maybe somebody from Washington would call for some instruction....

Television Pundit for Indicted Brokerage Firm has stock idea for next week: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop...they were all laughing about the the tv pundit on this mornings talk shows that was from a firm that just last week was found guilty of millions of dollars of securities fraud in the matter or mortgage securities---and presto this morning he presents an idea for his viewers on a special way to make money...the guys just smiled...."There should be a mandatory TIME OUT" one guy shouted...."Ya, there should be a penalty box or something" shouted a guy who loved hockey......"Is there no shame?" shouted one guy...and at once everyone yelled: "NO"

Friday, October 4, 2013

People Leaving Normal, Mn. are urged to come back once in a while to buy gas or ice cream: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text this morning..it seems that lots of people have been leaving Normal, Mn since the fall has set in...and the fishing has tapered off...but locals...still resiliant...and determined ...have urged those that have decided to educate their kids elsewhere...and decided to buy affordable homes elsewhere...and determined to grow elsewhere...to just come back once in a while and buy some gasoline or maybe an ice cream cone...and savor the good old days...nice...

Genius Politicos Guarded by Unpaid Police: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the politicos in Normal, Mn., in an effort to cut costs, have chosen to have their armed police protection not receive pay during the fiscal showdown in Washington....so...unpaid armed police is the new thing.....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Women of Normal, Mn. Propose the "Lysistrata Solution" to Debt Crisis: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news from the ladies of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop--they have gathered together tonight and reminded all of us of the history of Lysistrata: Lysistrata (/laɪˈsɪstrətə/ or /ˌlɪsəˈstrɑːtə/; Attic Greek: Λυσιστράτη, "Army-disbander") is a comedy by Aristophanes. Originally performed in classical Athens in 411 BCE, it is a comic account of one woman's extraordinary mission to end The Peloponnesian War. Lysistrata persuades the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing the men to negotiate peace — a strategy, however, that inflames the battle between the sexes. The play is notable for being an early exposé of sexual relations in a male-dominated society. The dramatic structure represents a shift away from the conventions of Old Comedy, a trend typical of the author's career.[2] It was produced in the same year as Thesmophoriazusae, another play with a focus on gender-based issues, just two years after Athens' catastrophic defeat in the Sicilian Expedition. Based on this research, the ladies of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop have proposed that all the women of America abstain till the budget resolution is passed...How clever....

Football shut down till budget resolution in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this evening from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop--where they have been having a late night session reviewing the options for the resumption of government in Washington---and they decided unanimously that until the government budget is approved, all football events, and all football coverage of all kinds will be shut down in Normal, Mn...and they made the simple point...that if the essentials are not paid for, what is the point of all the diversion....ah those bass fisherman...they are clearly grounded....

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Church converts to Real Estate Development: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the shocking news today, via twitter from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop of Normal, Mn---the Order of Perpetual Fishermen just announced that their extensive priory on the outskirts of Normal, Mn. will be converted to a real estate development...one reporter asked how much of a physical effort it would be to make the conversion...and he was reassured that there will be an easy conversion since the two entities really operate pretty much the same anyway. nice..

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Bass Fishermen joyful with First Lady's message for Wisconsin: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got a tweet this morning--the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal,Minn where they gather each morn for double strong coffee and no extra charge for whipped cream....were excited this morning with the the news that Michelle, our First Lady in the White House, had visited citizens in Wisconsin...and had a special message for them: DRINK WATER.....How special is that? The first word got their attention...and then the second word stunned them....anyway...the guys just loved it...the folks in Wisconsin are still trying to understand it...

Friday, September 20, 2013

Gift of Hearing Aids Accepted by Local School Board: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text this morning...according to the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop..where all the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge...the school board received an anon gift of 14 full featured hearing aids at NO CHARGE from a very notable national chain... The school board was a little bewildered about the gift...yes they had recently held their fourth listening session about various topics that had been voted on numerous times by the previous boards---on 4K, on debt, on school building etc, and each time they had persisted on disregarding the result...the board wondered if the hearing aids would help...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Expectations Exceeded: Failure Rampant: Citizens calm; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the school district in Normal, MN., and it seems that 90% of the students failed to meet the state educational standards...but the school officials were very relieved and pleased that the results were not 99% failure which is what they were expecting...and in general they were making plans to go ahead and build another new sports complex that should motivate students to perform better in sports and maybe a little carry over to the classroom....maybe...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

After 100 consultants the results are still "unconclusive" in Normal, Mn. Schools: Tales From Normal, Mn .: FICTION

Just got the startling text this evening from Normal, Mn---it seems that even though the Normal, Mn. School District has been hiring consultants diligently for the past 50 years, they have been unable to reach a synthesis on how to proceed....now there has been some concern that the consultants have been charging too much and are related to the administrative personnel...but still...after fifty years or so of consultation one would think that something would result...the only thing the 100 consultants have agreed on over the past 50 years is that it was those darn private schools and those vouchers that were causing all the problems.

Leader suggests settling disputes...bare chested..on horseback, white stallions---alternative to nuclear: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn. had some time on their hands this morning since there was heavy fog and they could not get out to fish for bass till later in the day...so they spent some time over coffee, double strong, extra sugar, and no extra charge for whipped cream, to devise a way to save the world---and since a certain foreign leader likes to posture on white stallions, they devised a nice way to settle disputes...I will follow this story as it evolves.

They just love education: They are studying Beer brewing every Wednesday: Forever till they get it right: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that the guys are still standing tall and meeting for the 25th straight year on Wednesday nights at the Loose Goose Motel, in the meeting room with the deer strung up on the wall...right across from the registration lobby....and after a long night of tasting beer, to a man they proclaimed their love of education and the art of brewing...and are dedicated to meet every week forever for their educational sessions...."Education is wonderful" they all exclaimed. But it takes dedication and practice...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Agendas NOT being prepared in order to save paper: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the note today that the Normal, Mn. School District has decided not to print agendas for their school board meetings because they want to save paper expense...and besides...not having board members or the public informed about the decisions seems to make the meetings go quicker...they just nod and vote...real efficient like...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Football Team Victory 100-1 brings Disappointment: Changes: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text this morn...seems that up in Normal, Mn. they had what most folks considered an impressive victory over a small school opponent and won 100-1...Still the coaches insisted that they could have done better...and after a long all night session reviewing each play, along with some cheap beer...they staggered out of the study session at seven am vowing to make big changes the next week....The hits were going to be harder...the score bigger...and next week they might even need a bit more beer during the study session. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Great Time to buy a new car and one that matches the paper box you live in: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Folks are not buying homes...folks are not buying from the retail chains...folks are not buying bling...but they are buying cars...and it remains to be seen whether these are cars to be lived in...cause the cars they are buying are very well equipped...the conclusion I make is that they are either the very wealthy or else they are planning to live in them...and colors that match paper boxes are best...you make the call.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

No Sales Awards: No Raises; Just Extra Pottie Breaks in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, MN.:FICTION

Some of my best friends are now getting older...I know that is hard to believe...but I have really been shaken getting some of the recent texts from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where all the fishermen meet each morn to have coffee before going out to catch bass...and maybe a walleye if they are lucky. They texted me today that the local manufacturing company announced a new compensation program, where nobody will get any raises, nobody will get any health care, nobody will get any vacation...but the very best of the best in sales will get extra pottie breaks.... This has left me speechless...I know that is hard to believe.

No Homes, No Clothes, No Fancy Food---still fishermen persist: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got an inspiring text from the guys from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where sometimes in the heat of the day, when the bass are not hitting, the guys get to reflecting, and even get to texting some us far away...and today, the guys just sent a text to say that even though they could not get a mortgage, and even though they could not shop for high faluttin clothes at the hip stores, and even though they could not do five star eateries...they still could persist and fish for those wonderful bass and walleyes...and that if ya can fish...you still can be positive for yourself and your community.... I texted back that they should be sure to drink plenty of water...cause sometimes postive thinkin and dehyration can seem the same. Stay tuned.

Bystander arrested for thinking thoughts of possibly raising a question: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text...seems a bass fisherman was walking around a state Capitol Near Normal, Mn and watching the horsemen on large horses patrolling, and the very heavily armed police...was thinking in his head of a question that might be asked...and he was promptly arrested...seems that even thinking a thought these days is considered wayward activity...so it's not just living the straight life...but thinkin the straight and narrow, very narrow life too that is the new thing in Normal, Mn..

People are living in dorms in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Just got the text...from the guys in Normal, Mn....the bass fishermen had taken a jaunt out West to Seattle to do some serious fishing, and had come across the new "Pod" living...it seems that folks are living in little 500 sq foot apartments called "pods"...well really kinda like dorm rooms, and they had a microwave but went to a shared area for full kitchen, and a shared full bath area...in fact everything was shared except their bed...the prices went from $500 to $1000 a month, and the good news is that they were all on the bus line and near the new rail line.. Welcome to the new life of rentals....Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Company needs to layoff employees to grow: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The Billy Bob Widget Works in Normal, Mn. just sent me a text that they have laid off all their employees, in order that the company can grow by acquiring another company....nice....

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

"All the job seekers are "overqualified" and all the employers cannot find "good help": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys in Normal, Mn, at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the bass fisherman hang out in the morning before going out to catch some bass---they were to a man saying that all the locals were being told that they were "overqualified" when they sought employment, but the employers were telling the media that they could not find "qualified" help....seems they are looking for Phd's, preferably from a foreign country that would work for minimum wage here, but a very nice wage compared to their home country....nice.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

"Unemployed really excited about buying new cars": Tales From Normal, Mn.: Fiction

Just got the news on auto sales from up on the frozen tundra---seems that folks are buying new cars like pancakes...even if they are unemployed...and because the junk yards have been destroying those old cars that were a great source of parts....It is pretty much bike to work or buy a new car...and the unemployed folks are being positive...that is the power of positive thinkin....

Newspaper will not charge for you to read your obituary---Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the Fish Tale News, the major rag up in Normal, Mn. has announced that it will go all digital, and that they will charge a subscription to enter their site...the only exception will be for folks directly going to the obituary section...so relax,,if you die you can access it very easily...and besides, I guess it makes sense since the family has to pay for the obit to be published....nice...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

New Stadium for Normal, Mn. named "Harry Carey Stadium": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the surprising text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe....seems that right out of the blue the name "Harry Carey Stadium" was the unanimous choice...not so much because of the person himself, but simply that because of the vast debt that had been incurred building the stadium, which in fact might require a drastic tax increse and reduction in student instruction...in short....the whole mess was harry carrey literally....without a samauri sword...

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Job Openings for Older Women who can sing skyrocket in Wisconsin: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today..encouraging news about the skyrocketing job openings in Madison, Wisconsin for older women who can sing in public, and who have the strength to be arrested in public and pay fines, and must have a passion for social justice and face the possibiity of a short jail stay....pretty nice news from the Wisconsin front about a state that has finally found a way of getting the economy moving again...stay tuned.

Normal, Mn decides to go to CASH: No more borrowing: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, that sleepy fishing town where all the bass fishermen have become national sensations as they chit chat about politics from the coffee shop in the early morning---they have announced that because of the bankruptcy of Detroit, due to the massive level of debt and municipal bonds is the key culprit....Normal, Mn. will borrow no more...well...with the interest rates rising they probably could not borrow anyway...but this now takes a positive spin on it....and in a related move, they have replaced all their modern police cars with older Ford 150's, all equipped with plug in heaters for the frozen tundra, and have also secured a large inventory of replacement parts. They have also told all officers that they are not to speed, and anyway, the older trucks were not to fast anyway....welcome to the new age, the age of cash, the age of frugality....carry on.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

All Joy in Normal, Mn.: Finance Guy says things are NOT better....: Everybody relieved: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text tonight from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn...where all the bass fishermen hang out and tonight they were gathering for a special meeting discussing personal savings for retirement...but all the guys were very upbeat...they had heard on the tv overhead that the head finance guy in the US had said that there will be NO tapering right now since things are...upon further review...not better...there still is lots of unemployment and underemployment...and well...the bass fishermen were really relieved...cause these were things that every able bodied man and woman and child in America know...but it is sure is nice..if once in a while...a big wig knows too...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Financial Pundits recommend allocating entire income to retirement: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the local retirement planning firm in Normal, Mn., The Billy Bob Retirement Firm, that encouraged all local folk to reserve their entire income to their retirement...that a little austerity in the near term was well worth avoiding starvation in their old age...their logic, was that with the yield on safe investments below 1%, it was important for each and every person of Normal, Mn. to amass at least 2 million dollars in their lifetime so that they would possibly get 20,000 annual income...and given that most of the jobs available in Normal, Mn. are minimum wage jobs, thus it was necessary for them to reserve all of their current income in order to achieve their objective... nice...

Monday, July 1, 2013

NSA is listening to everything you say and do in Normal, Mn., and they are confused,,,have questions: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. were discussing the recent development in the spying of ...well...everybody it seems, and they are expecting that with all the kids and adults that use their phones and computers, with a comprehensive analysis of all the content and what folks of all ages are searching for...and exploring...an objective observer might have some questions...so...they are...or were this morning during coffee...thinking that they might someday get a call about something...nothing they know of, but it just occured to them that there could be a question...

City decides to compensate employees with praise, and only incidental compensation: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After a long presentation last week by a motivational speaker that touted the benefits of employee recognition as a way of retaining valuable employees, which was timely since Normal has had a turnover of 100% over the past five years, given that there have been no raises given, the Common Council was so overcome with enthusiasm for the concept of recognition and praise as the cornerstone of....well..everything...that they announced that henceforth they would be compensating employees mostly with praise...and only incidentally with compensation....which was timely since the budget has been cut considerably...Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Gov says folks will love being destitute and it will make them stronger: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well it has been a rough time in Normal, Mn. with all the cutbacks on income...on health care...and well everything...but the state's governor has said that folks will get used to it eventually, and that they will over time become very happy being destitute and without their health...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Alcohol operator liscence issued to every person In town to save time: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys in Normal, Mn. that they came up with a wonderful way to "streamline" government---they would issue the operator liscense to every person at birth and thus save money on administration...nice...

Friday, June 28, 2013

Annual "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration begins in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn....that today begins the biggest annual celebration of that fair town---the "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration....it is true that most towns just celebrate this event once a century, but here in Normal, Mn....since this event occurs every year, the natural marketing thing to do is to make a tourist event out of it...and the plucky locals in Normal, Mn. have responded...stop by the coffee shop, Betty Lou's for a special cup of the "One Year Mocha" blend that is being sold today for .49 as a special promotion....and by the way, all the scones are 10% off today if you mention the word "floodplain." Stay tuned as I follow the specials that are available today during this precious event...these deals will not return till next year at this time....

Residents Shocked that "Austerity" Might affect THEM: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn....namely the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where the word today was "SHOCK" as the locals were just stunned that the global "austerity" might affect them...they had of course been watching the national tv scandal networks in the morning, noon, and evening, and had chuckled that the French, Brazilians and others were not too happy with the cutbacks...but heaven forbid...the local authorities announced cuts to the fireworks display at the fourth of July celebrations, instead of seven days of fireworks, they would have to settle for three...and to make matters worse, the garbage collection fees were doubled...and at the worst possible time, the Fourth of July, when there were so many bottles to dispose of....there was to be proposed fee for empty beer bottles and cans...and that was putting the guys over the edge... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Wall Street thrilled that Financial Guru still delivers boring pablum: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street was pretty tense today...and worried that some profound change might be eminating from the mouth of the font of wisdom from Washington financial circles...but was overjoyed this afternoon when it appeared that nonsense and vague jargon was still king and that the fear of action was ill conceived...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, June 17, 2013

K-9 Unit So successful, additional educational options considered: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong, with extra sugar, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...it seems that because of the wildly successful K-9 unit at the local police department, additional applications are being considered....maybe canine units will be utilized in the instructional units about drug use.....an alternative is of course to use robots...in both cases the positive is that these applications are union negative...and the cost factor and pension factor are zero, which is the principal qualification lately for hiring...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Politicians seek angry voters to send them money: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where bass fishing lovers gather for coffee each morning...and the word today is that everybody in town is being deluged with emails that are all sounding the same...."Are You Angry? Are you frustrated that your voice is not heard? Send me some money!!!!!" All politicians of both sides of the aisle are sending out nonstop emails to passive voters and internet readers who want to be citizens of action...and giving money is the action that is desired...nice.

Educators seek Charter Flight for all headed to China for "global Vision" enrollment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The entire world has been abuzz with all the Superintendents of school districts that are headed to China so that they can enhance the "Global Vision" of their school districts for the upcoming school year....such is it also for the Normal, Mn. school district, 250 students strong, where the entire administrative staff will head to China for a cultural encounter this summer, and then branch off and visit Paris and Germany in the ever widening search for foreign students, who might find education in the frozen tundra an enriching experience...as a sidenote, these educators would like to get a special charter rate, and would like all educators across the country to contact them so that they can charter a new Boeing 787 with all the amenities, but would of course save off the regular fare...stay tuned as I follow this story....

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Class of 50 has FOUR valedictorians: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from my fisherman friends in Normal, Mn....ya there was some cynicism among the guys that in a town so small, and a senior class of 50, how could there be FOUR valedictorians---but the Assistant Principal, yes there are two administrators in this high school of 250 kids, said that in Normal, Mn they do not go by the bell curve...they let the kids achieve up to their potential, or what goes by potential in them their parts...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Sports Lovers who never attend governmental meetings seek outlet for strong views: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well last weekend, I finally relented and made the long drive, up north of the Twin Cities to Normal, Mn., hoping to get some quiet fishing in...and after a blissful night at the Spruce Goose Motel, where all the rooms have mounted deer on the walls, and all the beds fold down from the wall, and each room has two little mini snickers candy bars under the pillow.....I headed off to Betty Lou's coffee shop on Saturday morn. Kind a different assortment of bass fishermen in that coffee shop on Saturday---all retired and all former athletes from the Normal, Mn high school...none had ever participated in virtually any local civic meeting...they had no time for that..they were too busy watching sports on t.v. or fishing...but they had very strong views on...well pretty much everything...and they...after several cups of coffee, double strong...with sugar...and yes with whipped cream at no extra charge...started shouting at each other about the latest local issue...and it all came down to a key point... "Why won't anybody listen to us?"

Friday, June 7, 2013

Locals excited about rise of temporary employment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the nursing supervisor of the memory care unit of the Mother of Mercy Retirement Home in Normal, Mn.---virtually all of the regular residents were pretty excited today about the jobs report as it was reported on the morning news---that there was an increase in jobs...even though they were mostly temporary....and yes the unemployment rate went up...and the numbers in the stock market kept going up in enthusiasm about the number.....and to a resident they just loved the way the announcer spoke with such enthusiasm...stay tuned as I follow all the economic news events from our local nursing home...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

New Gen X: Shunning Homes, Cars...and next ...FOOD: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICITON

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---where in the early morning hours, right before heading out to fish for bass, they talk about the latest...and the word today was that the next gen, Gen X generation, has given up on buying homes and autos...they are renting and using the bus to make the planet more sustainable...but the other news today---they are beginning to give up FOOD. The guys have speculated it was because so much of the food was packaged and unhealthy eating of stuff like milk, cheese, meat, brats and the like...but some also speculated that their wages meant that they could not afford to buy food....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Media Demand a Market Crash ...to help ratings: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop...that iconic little hole in the wall coffee shop, where all the coffee is double strong, with sugar and the whipped cream is no extra charge...anyway...it seems that the media of Normal, Mn....well mostly just some small community rags...are demanding that there be a market crash immediatley...despite whatever the government pundits say...and the reason the market crash is necessary is to precisely preserve the integrity of those who have been calling for a crash for at least a year now...and yes they have been frustrated that after insisting that "GOLD" was the only safe haven, they have gone ahead and lost much of their portfolio in gold mining stocks...and then after being gutsy and investing in high yielding dividend stocks, wall street has turned on them and said these are bad investments..huh? the locals are simply fit to be tied...they want a crash to make the believers believe that their hope is really in gold and the Almighty..in that order...thank you.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Wall Street trashes dividend stocks in morning....changes mind in afternoon: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

It sure is important to have TIVO in the morning for watching those Wall Street Pundits----it is always best to wait a good 48 hours before acting cause usually...usually...they have changed their minds...stay tuned.

70 and 80 yr old residents strongly argue for 30 year repayment terms: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the boys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn....where each morning, and especially on those early rainy mornings when one can't get out early to fish---the guys has been raving about the meeting the other night at the City Council Chamber, where every 70 and 80 yr old citizen of Normal, Mn had gathered to argue for at least 30 years repayment for some recent beautiful downtown remodeling.....they felt it was indeed beautiful work, and that the grandkids would truly benefit from all this wonderful work, and thus they should be the ones that should pay for it....they sure seemed to have the argument down...and to a man and woman they were sure that a long repayment, or indeed...payment by others after their death was the way to go....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Excitement builds with Housing value rise...and interest rate rise: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop are pretty excited that their housing values have risen...it gives them a sense of satisfaction in preparation for paying their year end real estate taxes, which have been very high since 2003, when the reassessment was done...and thus values have been 130% of reality ever since...It has been painful, but the press releases have been comforting... And the news that the Fed is finally going to stop easing and allow interest rates to rise, or even skyrocket,,,and the interest rates for mortgages have been rising..thank god...that means that the housing prices will come down as folks cannot offer much less qualify for houses of the higher valuation..and then cash will be king...and to a bass fisherman, they are excited that the plunge in house valuation has just begun...maybe the homes that only cost 12,500 in 1960 and now are appraised at $200K will come down...maybe...maybe...not in any locality we live in....but maybe..somewhere.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Gov declares "Millions for Fish; Not a dime for fishermen": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn., where all the coffee is double strong, plus sugar, and the whipped cream is no extra charge---and where all the bass fisherman meet each morning to talk about what the fish are eating...and ya what the politicians are saying, but not doing. This morning it seems the guys were all abuzz with the fact that the state governor has declared millions for stocking the lakes with bass, but at the same time has said there will not be a dime for jobs, healthcare...or anything else but aid for corporations that want to relocate within the state...needless to say...the guys were not pleased... So...I just texted back to the guys what I thought was the explanation according to the natural law: Fish are creatures of the Almighty that have been preyed on by vicious predators, like men, and need affirmative protection. Society must intervene to protect them and spend tax dollars so that tourists can spend gasoline dollars and drive on our new roadways to get to fish in this fine state. Fishermen on the other hand: they are totally self reliant and able to do anything...if they do not like being unemployed they can go elsewhere anytime they want. It is survival of the fittest....yes...they might have to leave town to survive. Well, well, well....I got the reply and the bass fishermen did not like my response...It was just a short message: They said: "We want to be FISH too...we want equal rights."

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Both Employers and Employees Agree: If they cannot each get what they want...their morale will be low..: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---the bass fishing guys that took the morning off this am due to overcast conditions...and after their second full coffee...double strong...lots of sugar and with the whipped cream free...they reached a consensus....they agreed that both employers and employees are sending the signal in their public relations...that if they do no get what they want...they will be VERY disappointed...and everyone better watch out if their morale gets down.....

Monday, May 20, 2013

Economic Development: City wants new direction: Hires Three Econ. Development Coordinators: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn.----seems that in order to "jump start" the development progress in Normal, Mn....which by the way has been at a standstill for the past 5 years...ever since the last development conference....they have decided rather than hire an expensive development director who might go out to expensive restaurants with influential sorts...they would hire three very less expensive "coordinators" who would keep themselves busy coordinating with each other....that way...even if no development happened, at least the time sheets would be filled with meetings involved with all the coordinating...nice..

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

"Vouchers" blamed for Minnesota Weather: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.....they are very sure that the extreme weather in Minnesota lately...with a snowstorm this week...all this weather was caused by private school "vouchers." I did text them back and asked for clarification...They said that they were considering blaming foreign terrorism, due to religious extremism, but after thinking about it, there has been so little religion of any sort in Normal, Mn. that it did not seem reasonable..Then again, years ago before vouchers, the weather was so much more regular...and thus vouchers must be the cause. Local labor pundits were pleased...after all, that had been their mantra for years. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Realtors say demand high for Minn Homes---cannot meet demand---folks dying to see snow on April 20th: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys in Normal, Mn....at Betty Lou's coffee shop...the buzz is that folks all over the country are just dying to buy some property in Minnesota..in fact there is just not enough homes on the market...and yes of course many citizens cannot sell their homes cause they are under water with their mortgages...but...because of the high demand of buyers who just want to see the novelty of SNOW in MAY...that alone has created quite a bit of traffic...ya just have to know that the quality of life is high when you can skate on ice...that is the symbol of high quality...stay tuned as I follow the story.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

After 5 Years of Slanderous Comments, Newspaper considers moderation...maybe: Tales from Normal, Mn.

Well..well..well...just got the text today that the local newspaper in these here parts, the "Fishgut News" which has been online now for almost 5 years now, and has had a free wheeling comment section where folks could put almost anything imaginable to slander one another on...well...after reaching a peak of slander in the recent election where articles from the paper were followed by slanderous input from folks online...the editor said...that maybe..after a thorough review...they might do something....and that same slow..methodical...oily like slow process is probably the same reason that the news biz is dying...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Gov says he ripped the fish nets, burned the bread--all for love: Tales from Normal, Mn.: Fiction

Just got the startling text today from Normal, Mn. from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop---seems that the Gov of that fair state has said that he has ripped the safety nets, and destroyed the bread of the poor---all out of love for their independence...and that no greater love any man has but to vanquish another to make them strong....wow...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Elementary School Children chosen for Planning Commission Duties: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the word has gone out from city hall in Normal, Mn. that elementary school kids have been asked for who would like to participate in the planning process for the community....Relax...the kids would have to be in Kindergarten, and at least six years old.... The theory is that since few adults of the community care or in the alternative will risk saying anything at public meetings, and mostly just wait till they are told how to vote...at least the kids will have fresh ideas, and will be a little less controlled... This could be kind of "wild and crazy"---at least the elders do not expect any historic districts to be on the front burner...Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Rules Official for Each and Every Golfer in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the guys in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's coffee shop were just stunned this morning on the morning news shows when it was proposed that a rules official be with each group of golfers...as an innovation. The guys just snickered---shucks they said: Up here in Normal, Mn we assign a rules guy to each and every golfer---it is a sign of pride and of the very high moxie that we recognize that the top heavy hitters are very prone to indiscretions...even such indiscretions as rule violations....and a bad lie, or a bad lay are all part of the same game...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Guys looking for a "Safe Haven" : Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Friday morning was quite an event in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---I got the blow by blow account by text this morn---it seems that when the job numbers were released---only 88000 jobs were created, and in fact the job participation rate had gone down...not because the old folks were retiring, but because the young had just given up.... And the guys were just staring up at those tv screens with the S&P graphs all over the place...with the guys from "FAST MONEY" talking fast...so fast that the guys were waiting for "SLOW MONEY" to come on...anyway...the buzz over coffee was where a "SAFE HAVEN" might be. Ya they knew there was a town called Gullhaven, but that was not a safe haven, but just a town of old... Then the guys hit on it....Why not let the safe haven be Phoenix in February---it would snow real hard...but then in two weeks it would get warm as blazes....maybe that is what would be safe....They never could agree on where the Safe Haven might be...Maybe you have some ideas.. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, April 5, 2013

"Wall Street is Excited that People are Giving Up": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. that they were a little puzzled that so much of the Wall Street Gurus are very excited that the unemployment rate has fallen because so many Americans have left the workforce, and have given up on looking for work--which is the key thing to have them removed from the statistics. To a man, those walleye fisherman felt that it was bad when we motivate politicians to look better when regular Americans are harmed...I just stared at the phone text with wonder---it is real special when regular fishermen get it, even when the only investment they have is in bait and tackle. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

All the COACHES are "Volunteer" in Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today,,that all the coaches in Normal, Mn. High School, and in fact the entire school system, have been placed on volunteer status, and at their own request...they just love the sport, they just are dedicated to the kids and their health, and they are loyal to their community....I was just stunned to hear the good news.....Hats off to these fine folks.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

"Shocking" Layoffs hit Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that there has been shocking news...about shocking layoffs in the established, do not touch professions, the ones that folks lived and worked and sacrificed in so that they would never be shocked by cutbacks...and they made severe sacrifices to make...very high wages for 9 months work or so, and/or got very nice thank you pensions that nobody bothered to really calculate the real cost of if...in times of contraction..one had to really pay for them...it was always assumed that the entities would just discourage folks from staying for more than five years or so, and thus there would be just minimul liability...but in a total surprise folks decided to make it a career, and the nice regular folks that sat on boards that decide such matters, and never understood the matters, but were waiting for someone up higher to warn them of fire and difficult decisions that needed to be made....never even dimly understood, much less acted to serve the public. And so...pink slips.

"Americans are excited about lower wages": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the fishing guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn, that they are getting pretty excited about all the good news about America's corporate profits caused by lower wages driving stocks higher and higher....Even though as they stare at the giant tv's in the cafe in the morning, just past 6am is best for the best seating...and they just love it when the highly caffeinated guys on the morning stock tv shows talk about how the SandP keeps going higher and higher, and this seems to match the higher and higher they feel with the double strong caffeine plus the whipped cream that is no extra at Betty Lou's. It is kind of funny when one just ponders...none of the guys has any stocks...they just invest in minnows and bait for fishing walleyes...but still they are real positive about the future of America and all the great things that will hopefully come of all this greed, and the wonderful things that come of greed...at least the wonderful things they talk about on t.v.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

More sports solves Normal,Mn Academic Decay: Tales From Normal, Mn: Fiction

Working on this story--got a short text today that hinted that by requiring all students to be 5 sport athletes, the ACT scores just skyrocketed upward in Normal, Mn...stay tuned...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

"In Order for the firm to be "nimble" You need to sign the resignation form in front of you": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn that the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's coffee shop were just flabergasted when one of the guys was pitched that the firm he worked for wanted to be "Nimble" and needed to terminate him and then consider his reemployment on entirely different terms and conditions...the young 21yr old senior executive seemed to be well intentioned enough with his bright smile and glazed eyes, but ...our friend just kept thinking that he was of a different planet...maybe the planet Earth had been taken over by aliens who had forgotten a bit...like everything about employment...and then had substituted the alien culture...maybe like slavery....The guys did the best to console him and even offered to buy the coffee, double strong with a dash of whipped cream...but he insisted he needed something stronger...stay tuned as I follow this story...it seems to be spreading all across the country.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"Not available at Press time" Loses School Board Election: Tales From Normal, Mn: Fiction

Just got the note today---seems the legendary "Not Available at Press Time" lost in the recent school board election...the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's coffee shop just smiled when I asked why---they said in bass fishing it is important to be timely...ditto for public service....

Friday, March 8, 2013

There are no "human beings", just "Human Resources" in Normal, Mn: Tales: FICTION

I am currently working on this breaking story...maybe you have a personal experience to validate the story that you want to share till the broadband comes back up from Normal, Mn.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Girls's Hockey saves Normal, Mn. School District; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn....it seems that there has been a school bonanza there this year...in enrollment...and it all started out from just one idea from an early morning coffee "blue sky" session at Betty Lou's coffee shop...where all the bass fisherman meet each morning to discuss what the bass might be looking for...as well as other topics. Billy Bob had just thrown out the idea that all over this nation there were lots of girls that wanted the opportunity to play ice hockey, and in light of the falling enrollment that was threatening the very existence of Normal, Mn School District, and also the problem looming that they did not have the money to even think of upgrading.... anything... in the school, well...death and dying of the district did seem to loom...Ice Hockey was the answer...and the guys at Betty Lou's to a man loved the idea. They formed a group that started to build the boards for a giant outdoor ice rink....and they announced to the entire nation that enrollment was now being accepted for girls that might want to join the ice hockey program...all students that wanted to play were guaranteed a spot on the team...and well...the rest is history... Enrollment skyrocketed...Money from the state skyrocketed...and the results for the whole community were astounding...homes were in high demand, money from the state for enrolled students went to pay for the very latest in mobile wireless computers....visitors from all over this great nation came to view the school in Normal, Mn as a role model for academic success. And that's the way it was...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Parents live with their kids in Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys in Normal, Mn---seems they have been watching the news and in light of possible cuts to Social Security, the retired guys have been simply moving in with their kids---just like the "good old days"----most have not even called first---they just show up....stay tuned as I follow this story---this is just what conservatives have always dreamed of....

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Conservatives want Harvard to be more friendly to Conservatives: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn. were watching the brand spanking new tv sets that have been installed overhead so they can watch CNBC in the morning as they are talking about their fishing prowess....this morning, the conservatives were ranting that Harvard was was just so hard on conservatives, who had to be soo much tougher and smarter to compete at Harvard cause they were questioned all the times and the regular liberals just had nobody questioning their ideology....Grover Norquist was on the program.... The guys found the program real funny...they thought it was a comedy show...the notion of the conservatives urging the Dems to be tolerant, when they could not even stop interrupting their fellow guests when they were agreeing with them,much less when they were disagreeing...anyway...lots of laughter here in Normal, Mn. today...and a beautiful day it is for bass fishing...and where they do not have tv in the boats, cause there is a real focus on what the fish are eating...stay tuned.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"Cat City" gets "Bird City" designation

I just know this is significant...bear with me as I get the info....

Stock Market worried about Italy: HUH?: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICTION

Well stocks plunged at the close of trading recently because supposedly guys were worried about ITALY----the bass fisherman at Betty Lous coffee shop in Normal, Mn had one response: NOT.

Religious leader abdicates...says he cannot figure out bank statement: Tales from Normal, Mn:FICTION

Luigi Johnson resigned today and said that it was the will of the Lord----but really he could not condone nor explain the multiple sets of books and options employed in the corporate treasury.....

Rise of gun and concealed carry apparel excite Wall Street:Tales from Normal, Mn:FICTION

The favorite question of consumers to retail consumer help desks is " Will that jacket conceal my AK47? " Wall Street is excited because it represents real economic growth...Stay tuned as I follow this story...

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Woman 110 yrs says key to age is non-stop texting :Tales fromn Normal, Mn: Fiction

The 2013 spirit award was given today to a woman 110yrs old who was cited for greatness...She beamed with pride as she described her non-stop phone skills....

Crosses mark the new TIF districts in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Crosses have been erected on new land hoped for development....It is floodplain land and they are hoping for a TIF miracle....stay tuned...

Newspapers close: Universities begin offering Phd in Social networking and blogging: Tales from Normal, Mn: Fiction

Still working on this story. Professors are wanted 21yr or younger with 10 years or more experience.....I assume applications will be on twitter shortly. stay tuned...

Man Shoots dog; Police kill man" Dog was one of us": Tales From Normal, Mn" Fiction

Still waiting for normal news coverage on this story from normal, Mn, where a man shot a police K9 dog who attacked him, and when the man killed the dog, the police killed the man with their guns.....According to the news reports the police said the dog was one of them....stay tuned...this is just the way it is in Normal, Mn.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

City Offically Named "The Cat City": Celebrates: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Stunning day today...as all the alders of Normal, Mn., after the normal business was conducted in the City Council...took a few moments to pass an official resolution proclaiming their fair city "Cat City of the World". Everyone was jubilent. \ After all..the thinking goes...it really smelled like cats...so one might as well get the designation. Stay tuned as I follow this developing story.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Hula Hoops ordered for Wall Street: Tales: Fiction

Brokers are ready to celebrate the great rotation----and the hula hoops will help...stay tuned as I follow this extensive delusion on wall street.

Translation Correction Noted by Monti: Tales:fiction

Seems a financial heavyweight from Italy who said he would do "whatever it took" was misunderstood in translation....he really said he would take everything he could....those verb conjugations are tricky.....stay tuned as I update the lin guistics corner....the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's have promised to help.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Beer Seminar so successful it will become weekly event:Tales From Normal, Mn: Fiction

Working on this story and will faithfully complete it when I finish the beer tasting.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Wall Street Gets Excited About Sub-Par Job Creation; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

OMG it is going to the moon!!!!that is what the guys sounded like last week....talking about..... the enthusiasm of Wall Street professionals...total professionals that they are..in an age where one has to totally discount the whole concept of professional...anyway...even though the job creation numbers were subpar last week, it was a reason to push the stocks higher....and the game seems to be to get the seniors who are on the sidelines to put their hard earned cash into risky assets that they are ill suited for..so that the needs of the gamblers can be satisfied...nice...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Virtual School Project Delayed; Need to plan some more Brick: Tales From Normal, Mn.:FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn....seems that the guys were all abuzz at Betty Lou's coffee shop this morn, the coffee shop where all the coffee is double strong, and the whipped cream is no extra charge---the local school board spent several hours considering a new fangled virtual school for their students to get them in the modern age...but in the end, decided to build a new brick addition instead...it seems that there were several brickmasons locally whereas there were no computer savy designers available except in the big cities far away...stay tuned as I follow this story....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Beer enthusiasts rail against Apple lack of creativity: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Lots of the inebrietated guys at the Loose Caboose Bar and Lounge railed at Apple for not being as creative as the beer industry....

Profit Skyrockets as all employees fired: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICTION

Productivity surged as robots were energized....some severe listening bugs caused complaints to plunge as inbound calls on service disconnected....stay tuned..

Folks Cutting Costs on Mars---Not so much elsewhere: Tales From Normal Mn :FICTION

Story developing slowly due to time delay--will keep you informed.

Wall Street Struggles to Define "Smoke in cockpit": Tales From Normal Mn:Fiction

Stay tuned for this developing story

Thursday, January 10, 2013

God Lovin Patriotic Community with Long Tradition of Violence: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that the locals, mostly just the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, who every morning, gather together midst strong coffee and free whipped cream...that these guys were outraged today when they learned that in a recent sociology textbook, their fair, free loving, and beautiful community has been described as a patriotic community with a long Tradition of violence...the guys were shocked...stay tuned as I follow this story.

School Board of School Employees Agreees unanimously to Pay Increases; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the revered Normal, Mn school Board, which has been honored to have all of its members currently serving as teachers in the school district, has voted unanimously for a 10% salary increase effective immediately. There were no dissenters. Stay tuned as i will faithfully follow up on any news of the cost containment efforts of the district, as well as any more long range building projects even though, it must be duly noted that there is a slight problem of population decline, and students leaving the district for more flexible instruction, and online instruction models...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Focus Group Identifies A Strong Tradition of Gunshows and Cheap Booze

Last week was a historic one for Normal, Mn., that sleepy little fishing town in northern Minnesota, and yes, the home of Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the bass fishermen go in the morning to chat...and where all the coffee comes double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge... But..the guys are getting older now, and some have failing memories...so just to be sure, last week, the Common Council had a focus group to determine what the heritage of Normal, Mn. consisted of...during the focus group, FREE coffee and donuts were provided by Betty Lou's Cafe---at the end of the focus group, which concluded promptly in one hour, the unanimous agreement of all the participants was that Normal, Mn. has a strong tradition of Gunshows and Cheap Beer. Armed with this information, the next step in the planning process is to develop a marketing campaign. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Illegal Dog Kennel finally solved after 45 Years; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After 45 years of deliberation by the august bodies of administration of Normal, Mn, there has been a determination that there will be an action to rule that indeed there has been a violation of ordinance, and notwithstanding the problem of the parties to the dispute being and having been dead for past ten years, it was necessary to take the full 45 years to make sure that the determination was correct...

Vikings Fans begin to Drink in Celebration of Their Packer Victory: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...that Minnesota Viking fans in the frozen tundra have already begun drinking to celebrate their victory over the Green Bay Packers...and at the rate they have been consuming at the Loose Caboose Lounge in Normal, Mn....they will not even notice if the Minnesota Vikings lose the game...but whatever...I remain faithful...and will report the results..even though at the current rate..it is doubtful that my wonderful faithful Minnesota fans will be able to comprehend the results...stay tuned.

Continuing Low Wage Job Gains Encourages Some: Tales From Normal, Mn.FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that the recent jobs report that lists flat job creation, and mostly low wage job creation at that..is being greeted by investors as positive...it does make you wonder the frame of mind of those floor traders and pundits that are basking in the glow of the lights on CNBC...whether they have any clue of what minimum wage looks like...and not only day to day employment...but hour to hour employment....I think the guys from Normal, Mn. have reached the conclusion that whenever one hears anything from Rick Santelli of the CME Exchange where he rants about the necessity for all the nation to eliminate debt...but neglects whether he wants all ammo to be paid for by cash...until he goes there...and talks about paying for war..just disregard his remarks....that's the latest from Normal, Mn.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Normal University Names "Highest Value" School in Nation...for 45th Straight Year: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the City Council elders of Normal, Mn., who today, for the 45th straight year have voted Normal University the "Best Value School" in the whole nation. There will be a short break after the City Council meeting tonight and folks can cheer over a complimentary cup of coffee...yes catered from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the coffee is double strong, and there is never an extra charge for whipped cream.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

"I just Want a Whistle and $150,000 per game: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from Normal,Mn, that the coach of the Normal, Mn. football team, Tommy Alcatraz, says that he is totally ready for todays game, and that all he needs is the whistle...and $150,000 per game...and oh ya...a few good football players...but with all the excitement,,,and his tremendous motivational skills, Tommy is very confident that if the guys can just restrain from celebrating till the game has been won, everything will be fine...stay tuned as I cover the game with all the pomp and pagentry that Normal, Mn. can muster...with all the fishing floats, and the cheerleaders, and the firetrucks...the cheerleaders will be extensively covered with heavy tundra gear, since it is zero degrees today in Normal, Mn., the fire trucks will still be a primary attraction.

"Football and Cheap Beer Top Concerns for New Year: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got some texts this morn from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where all the bass fishermen from that fair fishing village hang out in the morning hours...and yes when the weather gets nippy, which it is today at zero degrees, they even stretch the coffee klotch on to the early afternoon.... The national networks do not cover this small fishing village, so I just asked the guys what their top concerns were for 2013...To a man there was not one millisecond in hesitation....."Football and Cheap Beer" they responded...in a chorus... In a world of complication, where there are all sorts of "cliffs" to surmount, all sorts of very complicated documents to conquor and comprehend, to the simple bass fisherman, that wonders each morning what that bass might be hungry for today...it gets real simple...and these guys did not list politics in their first 100 noted items... As a side note, the guys all pay cash for their bait..no checks or credit cards allowed...and it is fresh bait....

Cheap Milk Celebrated in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

We got cheap Milk...who needs more: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION Just got the text today from Normal, Mn----where this morning folks are recovering from a serious New Year's celebration at the Loose Caboose Lounge---and when the recovering folks were told today on the TV talk shows that all that had been accomplished in Washington over the past few days was passing a dairy bill that ensured cheap milk....the seriously stoned guys were heard to say: "We got cheap milk...who needs more." It is early...and when they sober up they may have some larger dreams...and I pledge that when they do I will report them faithfully.