Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Friday, January 31, 2014

Frail Seniors Remember How Tough they were when they were young: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the Little Sisters of the North Nursing Home in Normal, Mn---in the midst of the terrible snow and cold weather of the past two weeks, residents have been gathered in a circle each morning and smiling...and fondly thinking back how it was in the old days...when they were tough...and rough...and could handle ..well..it must have been 100 degrees below zero, and it must have been...30 inches of snow...ah yes...that is whey call this the "memory unit."

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Conservative Educators argue for "unpaid internships" for elementary school children: opportunity cited: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---distinguished conservative educators have noted that unpaid internships are a steppingstone to the future workplace and income mobility...and the key is unpaid internships in the elementary school years...some suggestions are in manufacturing jobs that could utilize the youngsters natural quick handspeed...with the eye to gradually adding other skills over a decade or so...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Planking and Yoga cited as essential for "Core Curriculum " Improvement: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Locals were delighted today when the Normal, Mn. School board urged all parents to see that all students were enrolled in a health club that could provide "Core Fitness" focus, with a special focus on planking and yoga...spinning would be allowed, but some real serious P90 fitness was encouraged...after all...a large improvement in "Core" was being sought...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Educators cannot remember how they dealt with snow days: Tales from Normal, Mn. FICTION

Educators are scrambling today in Normal, Mn. to figure out how to deal with the almost week long unintended vacation from school due to extreme cold and snow...they cannot remember how previous generations dealt with the extremes of the weather...and there does not appear to be a solution noted in Wikipedia....there was a suggestion that they extend the school year, but this solution might make some folks angry, and the alternative is to not allow the kids to pass to the next grade...To solve the problem, the Normal, Mn. school board has formed five committees to work on a solution...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Propane Heated Homes on Sale Today in Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...realtors in Normal, Mn. have announced some pretty spectacular deals...some distinguished residents of suburban developments powered by propane, have been offering their homes for sale at .10 on the dollar....it seems that in the normal supply and demand of the normal American free enterprise system....well...there is only very expensive propane, and that has rendered these homes almost useless...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Spies angry they are being spied on: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the spies in Normal, Mn. are very upset today...that their professional activities are being spied on...and by people they cannot find, some of whom appear to be young, untrained in the spookcraft trade....and revealing events of the past and present that are...embarrassing...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 27, 2014

New School Report Cards bring Shock and Awe: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...after a four hour executive session of the Normal, Mn School Board, an executive order has been issued to change the report card format for all grade levels...this will substitute for any effort in school improvements...it will also save money...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Propane Panic in Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...all over the frozen tundra folks are trying to drain their water pipes so they can leave for Florida or Arizona....they might as well leave since they cannot get propane to heat their homes...correction...they could get propane but it would cost them triple of what they paid last year...and they have been saying that this is what makes America great...that it is just supply and demand...they demand and you pay...and we have lots of natural gas, but the price is just skyrocketing...it was $2 a therm a couple of years ago, but due to progress it now approaches $5...thank goodness for the laws of supply and demand...

Cutting Food Stamps but Keeping Corporate Farm Welfare: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the higher ups in Normal, Mn. have gotten tough and cut food stamps, but kept the farm welfare program to the relief of larger corporate farm organizations....

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Older Minnesotans Talk Tough....but leave for Arizona: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got off the phone talking to a guy from the frozen tundra near Normal, Mn....and he spent most of the time telling me of the toughness of Minnesota residents, and how that very, very cold temperature keeps all the evil out of Minnesota and that those who remain are the best of the best....at the very end of the conversation, he admitted he was calling from Phoenix where he spends the winter....nice...

"Penny" Stores come to Normal, MN: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it seems that dollar stores, the center of fashion for rural America, just had prices that were too high....cheaper is needed...stay tuned.

Planking and Intense Weight Training urged for "Core Curriculum": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Head administrators at the Normal, Mn. School District are in a "think tank" session today, midst the intense cold weather, to consider whether "Core" Curriculum should include weight training to improve the "core" muscle groups of its students...stay tuned...this topic has been so popular that it might replace math and science in some districts...

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bribing the taxpayers in election years popular: Tales From Normal, Mn.; FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.--where everybody is huddled in this cold spell over hot coffee and "stickeybuns"...a local favorite...and to a man they were pretty amused by the notion of some governors seeking election to just give all the taxpayers a big check next year and hope the regular citizen does not notice that overall debt levels are rising as the checks are being written---and that was the very pitfall that caused all the division in the first place----but then the mantra of successful politicos....bribes work....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Politicos agree about Walleyes---but nothing else: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Big night last night...as the Govs all gave their State of the State speeches---and the wonderful thing here is that "Walleyes" was the biggest applause getter in the Normal, Mn. govs speech----politicos differ on everything else...but they agree on Walleyes...stay tuned...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

"Small Homes are best cause our relatives can do those" : Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A local contractor from Normal, Mn brought smiles at a local meeting when he noted that it is best to build small homes and no large structures, cause the locals can't build the big ones, and he wanted to keep all the "goodness" or "Money" right in town....thinking big, or building big might harm the goodness of his local family...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Bedroom Community gets survey about whether they want to be a "walkable community": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Residents of Normal, Mn just got a planning survey asking everybody in town whether they want on a scale of 1 to 20 a "Walkable Community"...Normal, Mn has been a tourist destination for fishing for decades, and everybody gets there by car...There has been some conjecture that the Mayor of Normal has had some vison loss, and cannot see distance anymore...so may have forgotten how folks get there...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Bank Leaving Town in order to Serve Core Customers Better": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet---the local Credit Union branch is closing in Normal, Mn and in a short press release, the vice-president said that they were closing in order to serve their "core" customers better...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, January 20, 2014

New Tennis Courts Considered...though nobody plays Tennis: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

The Normal, Mn Park Board today announced serious consideration of adding some tennis courts to the park board plan for the next five years...yes they understood that there was no interest of current citizens in tennis, and yes it is true that any attempt to form tennis teams in the past has been a failed attempt...still...maybe somebody from afar...wealthy and such...might be attracted by the tennis courts to come here and pay the list price for our real estate...it might just be worth the investment...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Normal,Mn launches new bold economic development program: replaces "excellent" with "top notch": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

After a three hour Planning Commission meeting this past night, the Normal, Mn. planning commission announced a bold new initiative: effective immediately there will be a global replace of the term "excellent" with the phrase "top notch". It was felt by the distinguished council members that the term "excellent" had become passé and that new bold initiatives were needed....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Bankers alarmed that "honesty" might put a real crimp in slick business: Tales From Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Local bankers met today at the Gridiron Luncheon and presented a long program on why any impediments to the way they have been doing business over the past 50 years is a real "deal breaker" to a recovery of the American economy...The bottom line of one of the listeners, was that honesty would be nice...but it might really harm business...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Local Car Dealers tell older car drivers that the time to buy is now: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Local news pundits of WKYZ, the local talk radio of Normal, Mn have featured a special program today on why America needs to break out of the current recession, and why this recovery requires older drivers driving older cars to buy a brand new car, and incur as much debt as possible doing so. They have insisted in loud voices, that those old cars just have to break down, and as soon as they do...everything will be fine again in America...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Inherited Millionaires discuss how they solved the War on Poverty; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The distinguished "Petunia Society", an association of ladies of distinction in the northern tundra of Normal, Mn. met Wednesday last to discuss how to solve the War on Poverty. A panel of two distinguished wives of local millionaires led a presentation of their best ideas....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Conservatives Urge 24 Hour Work Day; In the name of Freedom: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Several august manufacturing and commerce types in Normal, Mn. have introduced an ordinance that would allow employees to work 24 hours in a row on a "voluntary basis"....and they have explained that this would be a way for folks to make some extra money...and that the truly ambitious and hard working types should not be hindered from success by antiquated laws....stay tuned as I follow this story...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Homeless numbers skyrocket, job numbers fall, unemployment Official numbers drop: Economists happy; Tales from Normal, MN: FICTION

Seems that homelessness is skyrocketing...jobs are disappearing...but the official economists are pretty excited about all the folks giving up on work, since by "disappearing" from view, people allow the numbers that the Wall Street folks follow to look better..., and the stocks to go up...which is good for all the white shoe folks....

New "Progressive" Testing announced for Normal, Mn Schools: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...from now on, in computer aided tests in Normal, Mn schools, if a student gets an answer wrong, the next related question will be easier....and when a student gets the question right, the next question will get harder...the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's just smiled..one guy wondered what the "Perfectionist" types would do...they might be driven nuts by the ever harder questions...."It will serve the eggheads and nurds perfectly" he was heard to say....stay tuned as I follow this story.,

All of the "Goodness" is kept "Local" in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the local electric public utility for Normal, Mn., the Everlight Corporation, who declared that because the local utility is a local public utility, all of the goodness of the utility can be kept in town, and none of it will be used to stray from the local city....and in related news, Billy bob noted that he does not give to anybody because he likes to keep all the goodness to himself....the bass fishermen at the table at Betty Lou's coffee shop just smiled....

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Folks in Seattle are feeling pretty superior to all those frozen folks in the Midwest: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet..it seems that some guys from Normal, Mn. that had been bass fishermen just left for Seattle, and were feeling just so superior now that they can have rain every day...and it is so much better than freezing during January in Minnesota....nice...

Economists get excited to hear that folks are giving up: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet today from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn---it seems that they have been watching MSNBC in the morning before the launch out to fish for bass, and they were shocked to see economists that were giddy with joy that so many older folks, over 40, have just given up on looking for work any more, or have been removed from unemployment....once they leave the work force, the unemployment numbers will improve because they will no longer be counted....ah those statistics guys...they are all alike....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Schools Add TWO Dean of Students, Plus One Linebacker coach; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn---they are so proud this morning that the beat of progress has just kept on going...the local schools have added TWO dean of students, who will work with the students to improve discipline, PLUS a linebacker coach to improve HITTING skills on the football team....Progressives everywhere are applauding the improvements....

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Job Seeker says he wants job, hates corporations: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the famous bass fisherman they all call "Fighting Billy Bob" in Normal, Mn. , who has won many bass fishing contests over the past ten years, went on television today and said that he considers himself a progressive, that he is always looking for a job, but just hates corporations....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Folks find living in 400 sq ft boxes attractive: Tales from Normal, Mn. : FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...seems that modern hipsters have found it attractive to live in 400 sq ft homes...pretty shocked here...it used to be that only homeless would choose to live in paper cardboard shacks of this size...but now youth has decided that this minimalist lifestyle that emphasizes size is the home of choice...and in some cities, youth can still get the status of high rents, since some of these homes still cost $750 to $1000 per month, if they are situated near the metra...Most of these developments have an attractive party room for entertainment that all residents share, since entertaining in ones bedroom is not always considered chic...stay tuned as I follow this story.