Dateline Normal: The New Normal "Unified "Municipal Code---Simplified---FICTION

Recently I have been browsing through Chapter 130 of the municipal code and the proposed additions to make this legal code a "Unified Land Development Code."-----At first I thought if it was "Unified" it might be simpler or shorter. No so.

I picked up the phone and called my old friend, Herman, the countryboy lawyer from Normal, Mn., who in addition to being a lawyer, also sits on the Normal School Board.

"Herman, I just do not get this. What is the whole unified code about?, I asked."

"First of all, Wolfman, (that's what he always called me,) when they say "Uniform" you must understand that they DO NOT mean "simpler"----the uniform they are referring to is "Armani suits." "Uniform" code is always very much longer and more complicated than "simple" code. Up here in Normal, Mn., we have just 5 municipal codes. Now THAT is simple. It is just a mathematical thing. Pure beauty."


I don't get how math comes into it, Herman. How come?"

"It's all about Probability. When you have just 5 municipal codes, the number of variations is 5times 4 times 3 times 2 times 1======24. See. Anybody can handle that number of combinations. BUT.

"But the new "UNIFIED" code has 100 sections, " I said.

"That's a problem-----or a blessing, depending on who you are, Wolfman. The number of combinations would be 100 times 99 times 98 etc....and it would be a huge number.....In short, Wolfman, a town would need 10 or twenty lawyers to just handle routine business. "

"Do you mean to say that the folks that are "UNIFIED" are just the lawyers?"

"That's EXACTLY correct, Wolfman." Up here in Normal, we do not have another lawyer besides myself. In fact, everything is so simple------- a notary could handle it."

"WOW." I exclaimed.

"Thank goodness we are back in good old Wisconsin. Where we can have hundreds of codes and have hundreds of folks that look after everything and not just a notary.

Alleluia.