Dateline Normal: "It's practice time again."---FICTION

Well. Cool weather is just a month away. The Fall cross country team is beginning their night runs---the Lake Leota 2, the Stand pipe 3, the Water Street 5 and the Porter 5. Ah the good old days. I am still running the track 800 meter.

Still..... the excitement of fall sports is palpable. The lights are up on the soccer field, ready for those night games. The grass cut nice and short on the fields so the watering can run all day to prevent burnout.

I was just sitting on the bleachers resting from an 800, when I picked up the old cell phone and called my old friend Herman, in Normal, Mn.. I just wondered whether this fall excitement was happening up there in Normal. The weather was clear and the cell phone call went right through.

"Herman, what is with the fall sports in Normal? Is the excitement building up there?

Herman let out a huge bellylaugh.

"Shucks NO, Wolfman,( that's what he always called me) Up here we only have cross country. We cancelled the football program years ago!"

"What?" I exclaimed. "How could that be?"

"It's real simple, Wolfman. Up here, all the athletes drink. And if ya drink, ya can't play football. It's just pretty simple. We just gave em a clear choice. They decided which was most important. It just was not football. "

"WOW." I was just speechless. "Thanks Herman" I finally said.

As I ran around the track once more, I was just very relieved. Man....it sure was good to be back in good old Wisconsin. Where athletes can drink and still play football. Where we do not have to choose which is more important. And where officals are sensitive and such. And never dare to enforce the law so as to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities.

Alleluia.