Dateline Normal: "Old Time Religion"---FICTION

Recently I have been reading of the efforts of one of the "Old Time Religions" to put an end to the new fangled guitar folk dudes that have infiltrated the sacred time of the era of Gregory----the days when Gregorian chant was king. I had grown up midst the old time chants, since I had been raised and taught by the Bendictines. As I got older and the folk music came to all the churches, I kinda adjusted to the guitar folk music. After all, Bob Dylan was playing at the four corners on the University of Minnesota. Nothing like a good version of "Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat" to get me in a real bluesy or soulful mood.

It seems though that some felt this was an intrusion into the sacred notions of religion. I just wondered what was a reasonable philosophy to have about it. The whole nation seemed pretty divided about it.

The Church wanted to appeal to all those folks that they had lost back in 1960 when the Latin was changed for the vernacular. Those were the folks that were in their 60's then. They would be about 100 years old now. It was hoped by the reintroduction of the old time chants, that those folks would again return to the churches across America, and begin contributing at the collection plate.

I always have loved sales, and marketing. There just seemed to be a problem with the nonexistence of the market segment they were hoping to attract. After all. Those folks had been dead for years.

I was willing to listen though. And I thought to give it a fair hearing, I should call my old friend Herman in Normal, Mn.. Herman was a countryboy lawyer there, and as you know, a distinguished member of the Normal, Mn. school board. When it came to "quid pro quo", fishing, or Latin....he was the closest thing to an expert in the town. It was a cold, wintery day, so my cell phone call went right through.

Herman was out in the fish house ice fishing. I could hear the music in the background.

I got right to the point:

"Herman, what is the old time religious music like up there in Normal, Mn.? Do you still have any of that Gregorian chant stuff up there?

"Shucks NO Wolfman----up here in Normal, Mn., we have had to make an adjustment in order to SURVIVE-----up here it is real cold. Years ago, we had a preacher that introduced the POLKA Mass here in Normal, and it was a huge success.

The first thing to note about the POLKA Mass is the pace----the music is at CUT time---and folks have to move quickly---and that makes their blood flow and they experience an "Inner FIRE" that makes them experience a real warmth. Once they had gotten hooked on the POLKA Mass, they just could not go back to the chanting. Besides, there are no exercise clubs up here in Normal, and the exercise of the polka dancing is real healthful. "

WOW. I was just a little stunned. I had not thought of SACRED TIME as referring to a musical time signature. Still, the more I thought about it, the adjustment of Normal, Mn. seemed to be perfectly suited to the northern tundra.

I just wondered though. Was it cold enough in our fair city to have the up tempo TIME? Maybe it would be too fast a beat.