Dateline Normal: Development Summit comes to Normal"---FICTION

Last week, right in the middle, I got an anxious cell phone call from Herman, my old countryboy lawyer friend from Normal, Mn., a land just south of Garrison, Mn., and a little west of the Land of Lake Woebegone in northern Minnesota.

"I need some help up here," Herman whispered. I am putting together a booklet for the first ever Normal Development Summit, and would like some help......."

"What kind of help?", I asked.

"I don't need any advice," Herman rushed on, "I just need some packaging of historical documents of Normal in preparation for the conference."

"No problem," I responded. " I will drive up if you can handle the "usual" expenses. Herman well understood that I only operated if the expenses, the same standard that the Rockford files had many years ago, $500 a day plus any extra expenses. ...were covered fully in advance. "

"No problem." Herman replied.

I was a little mystified in thought as I made the long drive. Normal was a fishing town, and had not added a business in 50 years. I just could not imagine what the whole crisis was about.

"What is this all about, Herman", I asked over an extra strong coffee, heavy on the sugar and whipped cream, and filled fully to the brim of a dark blue Minnesota Viking mug.

"It is real simple, Wolfman.(that's what he always called me). This is a battle between the OLD and the NEW."

"What Ever do you mean? I asked.

Herman went on: "Well, some new fangled contractor wants to build some condos on the lake and make a upscale marina and upscale living area just south of town. "

"What could be better?" I responded. At least they will be building by the Minnesota construction code....that should be a real move up for these parts."

"Ya. That is true. But the downside is that the local contractors will probably not get the business. And that is a deal killer. In fact. As we see it. It is OUR WAY......or the HIGHWAY."

"How do I fit in with your plans, Herman?, I asked.

"Well, Herman said. We need to package a seminar brochure that will look real progressive and all, real high tech and professional....... that will be so complicated and elaborate that it will kill the deal. We will call it "The UNIFIED Code"---as in it is US against THEM. "

Well it was a mad rush of publication, but I got the deadlines handled. Lots of small print and arcane language. Lots of legal mumbo jumbo, but I think I created the perfect gift.

It sure is good to be back home. Where things are a lot simpler. Alleluia.