Dateline Normal, Mn.: " Perfect Attendence"------FICTION

Recently with my youngest graduating from high school, I have been reliving, as parents are so apt to do, my younger days of glory. In fact, just yesterday it was 45 years since that fateful awards ceremony in 1963-----I was dreaming or dozing after a week of stressful exams and right in the middle of the ceremony, in the midst of a wonderful dream about someone who was going to give me a ton of money to attend college, I heard my name called.....I woke and stood up.

It seems that unknownst to me, I had received the perfect attendence award---one of 4 from the class of 220. Anyway----what a jolting disappointment after my wonderful dream.

I called my old friend Herman, the countryboylawyer in Normal, Mn. this morning, and was laughing about the good old days and told him about the award incident. There was just a pause ......then Herman responded:

"I hate to burst your bubble, Wolfman (that's what he always called me.) Up here in Normal, Mn., every student gets a perfect attendence award. It's just normal."

"What!!!! I exclaimed. How could this be? What is the secret to your success?"

With giddy delight, Herman went on-----"It's real simple Wolfman. It's a real WIN-WIN transaction. Each year at the end of the year, we submit all the daily and habitual truancy violations to the local court----and lo and behold because we don't follow the State of Minnesota procedure for these, the cases are thrown out.....and the students records are wiped clean."

"Do you mean to tell me that EVERYONE in Normal, Mn. has perfect attendence officially?"

"YES" he replied.

"And,"Herman went on," Everyone is happy with the result. The parents get good kids, the school gets a perfect record.....and what is even better,....the school gets national awards as being a role model for civic responsibility."

"WOW," I gasped. "That is pretty amazing."

It sure is good to be back in good old Wisconsin. Those folks in northern Minnesota sure do have some strange customs-----those purple Viking sweatshirts, the 30 below weather, and most of all, the ......perfect attendence.