Dateline Normal, Mn.: "The First Hour of Consultation is FREE"-----FICTION

Well it has been a long week of extensive public meetings about conditional use permits of local businesses---where because of the long standing countryboy tradition of not having any written policies about anything, irregularities develop that one could drive a semi through, and indeed, the red blooded true born independent harley riding residents of these here parts obligingly drive a semi through them to the dismay of the regular folk.

Having heard some vague rumblings about how extensive the legal bills might be regarding these matters, I did what I always do when I wonder...and I have been wondering a lot lately.....I headed up that long and winding road to Normal, Mn., up 94 to the Twin Cities and then up Hwy 10 to just south of Garrison, Mn..

My car's air conditioner was on the fritz, and it was a long and hot drive indeed. By the time I got into town, I was ready for a cold, iced coffee at Betty Lou's and I called Herman to meet me there. Pronto.

Just as soon as Herman slipped into the traditonal booth, the ones with the red cracked vinyl covering, with the little record box on the wall with all the favorites of the 50's and the 60's still in it---the distributor had long ago gone out of business so it was real profitable now that the restaurant could keep all of the money.

I just blurted it out:

"Herman, how can it be that defiant, deviant, business owners that are flaunting the terms and conditions of a conditional use permit, can plead in the midst of their defiance, and in the alternative, for "equitable defences" and like a little dog on the ground with its paws waving in the air, plead for mercy from the benevolent court. It just makes no sense to me."

Herman let out a loud bellylaugh.

"I think I can help in this matter, Wolfman.(That's what he always called me.) Do you know why the first hour of consultation is FREE for lawyers?"

"NO," I replied. "What has that got to do with it?"

"It's real simple," Herman explained. "Up here in Normal, Mn., we have fishing and the natural life, and then on the other hand, we have the life of the "law". The law is where I make my money. You need to understand how these two worlds differ in order to be ready..... and prepared ....for the real world."

"Explain" I said.

"These two worlds, the natural world of fishing and the codified world of the law, are very different. From the instant of birth, we have a natural desire for the sound of the birds, the call of the loons, and the love of the peace of the lake. Add the peace of fishing for some. For others it is the love of sailing. You get my drift-----"

"The LAW however is different. There is no natural market. There is no natural thirst to pay the large fees for services like this. SO......the FIRST HOUR of VISITATION with a prospective client is always FREE----because that is precisely the hour that the counsel fills the client with FEAR or GREED or any of several other emotions that might nurture a fire of emotions so strong that a little thing like large fees are a small matter, expecial considering that they might be spread over the tax base for payment by the taxpayers, or even the grandchildren of the taxpayers. The reason that this hour is free is that the least the counsel could do when inflicting FEAR is not to charge the victim for it!!!! DITTO for Greed. "

After reflecting on his thoughts over the weekend, and after fishing for bass and catching quite a few, I gradually relaxed----and yes even got the air conditioner fixed on the car---it just had a leaky hose connection.

Thank goodness I am back in good old Wisconsin. Where the first hour of consultation, or the hour of FEAR may or may not be FREE, depending. I guess I now understand.