"Swim With the Loons Harvest Festival" Comes to Normal, Mn."----FICTION

Last week, I had the pleasure of living in a boat house with a birds eye view of the beautiful lake near Normal, Mn... One the things that you notice, because it is so quiet, is that in the evening, the loons begin their calls--right about feeding time....and also in the morning. The first morning I slept in, and never heard the loons at all. After a couple days relaxation, I felt like meeting the sun in the morning and went for a morning dip. Lo and behold the loons were up too. And looking for breakfast.

Years ago, one of the famous books of salesmen nationwide was "Swiming With the Skarks," by Harvey McKay. Harvey was the owner of a printing firm that was near the University of Minnesota, and his book was for many years the textbook on selling skills---I think the book is still available. Using his sales techniques, according to the book, one could swim with the sharks, negotiate with the crooks, do almost anything and win, win, win......

These days, St. Paul--Minneapolis has come a long way. I think they do not have such simple ideas of great salesmanship---after all just think of the recent Republican National Convention, when all of the local press media decided to go to the lake and fish rather than cover the convention----so much for swiming with the sharks. Yes. Most of the press were really folks that just printed ad shoppers, and yes, if pressed they might admit they just went out to Byerlies and got tofu rather than fish...still....the Twin Cities has changed somehow.

I just wondered about all this. And as usual, I picked up the phone and called my old friend Herman, the country boy lawyer from Normal, Mn. and got right to the point:

"Herman, what is the deal. Everything has changed. Is nobody swimming with the sharks any more. Are there no more journalists that will report the news? Is everybody just part of the syndicate or the good old boys"

"YUP", Herman replied. "It has all changed. However look on the good side. We now celebrate the "Swim with the Loons Fall Harvest Festival"----we teach the youngsters how to recognize a "loon call" and even have a circular device that makes a loon call, and in a deeper sense we become a loon in spirit----yes we also do all the other things that these festivals do as earth friendly celebrations----we drink wine, eat lots of cheese, and after a lot of wine and cheese, we might even talk a bit about recycling.....it's a real role model celebration. A real teaching experience even if one is under age.

Wow. Swimming with the Loons. I was totally stunned. Still. I liked the idea. I just wondered what Harvey McKay thought about all this. I wondered if the loons would be easier to swim with.