Your sins might NOT be forgiven in Normal, Mn: Fiction

Shocking news out of the Our Lady of Perpetual fishermen parish in Normal,Mn. It seems that after the annual comprehensive liturgical audit of the local diocese it was uncovered that at the baptism of Pastor Buddy, the very popular pastor of the local parish, the minister used the words "WE baptise you in the name of".... the deacon thus made a fatal error. The correct wording is "I baptise you"..... Following liturgical logic thus all religious events in the life of Pastor Buddy are null and void. From the purely divine perspective What does this mean for you oh devoted reader? It means that everything you ever confessed to Pastor Buddy over your lifetime must be reconfessed again. With no mistakes. Or you will surely suffer the flames of hell. it may be hard for some of you to remember it all. Sometimes our memory fades on where we have failed. What to do? Simply ask your spouse. Asking your old girlfriends might be impossible. I do not recommend it. Stay tuned as i follow this story.

Super Patriots are voting Twice in Normal,Mn : Fiction

Just got back from a short Labor Day fishing trip to Normal, Mn. Once I got an hour out of the twin cities I began seeing the billboards---you know the ones. The super patriotic billboards that support recalling our Governor, or anyone else that might interfere with their proclivity to drink or buy guns. These were the graduates who did not study the "Common Good" concept in high school. I felt coffee was not going to be strong enough to meet my needs so I stopped for a strong whiskey manhatten plus the cherries at the Loose Goose Saloon. It seems that most of the folks there were a drink or two ahead of me. They were regaling their friends about how patriotic they were and to make the point they insisted on voting TWICE just to make sure their vote was counted. It was a scene right out of "Dumb and Dumber".