Annual "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration begins in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the guys in Normal, Mn....that today begins the biggest annual celebration of that fair town---the "One Hundred Year Flood" Celebration....it is true that most towns just celebrate this event once a century, but here in Normal, Mn....since this event occurs every year, the natural marketing thing to do is to make a tourist event out of it...and the plucky locals in Normal, Mn. have responded...stop by the coffee shop, Betty Lou's for a special cup of the "One Year Mocha" blend that is being sold today for .49 as a special promotion....and by the way, all the scones are 10% off today if you mention the word "floodplain." Stay tuned as I follow the specials that are available today during this precious event...these deals will not return till next year at this time....

Residents Shocked that "Austerity" Might affect THEM: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn....namely the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where the word today was "SHOCK" as the locals were just stunned that the global "austerity" might affect them...they had of course been watching the national tv scandal networks in the morning, noon, and evening, and had chuckled that the French, Brazilians and others were not too happy with the cutbacks...but heaven forbid...the local authorities announced cuts to the fireworks display at the fourth of July celebrations, instead of seven days of fireworks, they would have to settle for three...and to make matters worse, the garbage collection fees were doubled...and at the worst possible time, the Fourth of July, when there were so many bottles to dispose of....there was to be proposed fee for empty beer bottles and cans...and that was putting the guys over the edge... Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wall Street thrilled that Financial Guru still delivers boring pablum: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Wall Street was pretty tense today...and worried that some profound change might be eminating from the mouth of the font of wisdom from Washington financial circles...but was overjoyed this afternoon when it appeared that nonsense and vague jargon was still king and that the fear of action was ill conceived...stay tuned as I follow this story...

K-9 Unit So successful, additional educational options considered: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong, with extra sugar, and the whipped cream is no extra charge...it seems that because of the wildly successful K-9 unit at the local police department, additional applications are being considered....maybe canine units will be utilized in the instructional units about drug use.....an alternative is of course to use robots...in both cases the positive is that these applications are union negative...and the cost factor and pension factor are zero, which is the principal qualification lately for hiring...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Politicians seek angry voters to send them money: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today...from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn, where bass fishing lovers gather for coffee each morning...and the word today is that everybody in town is being deluged with emails that are all sounding the same...."Are You Angry? Are you frustrated that your voice is not heard? Send me some money!!!!!" All politicians of both sides of the aisle are sending out nonstop emails to passive voters and internet readers who want to be citizens of action...and giving money is the action that is desired...nice.

Educators seek Charter Flight for all headed to China for "global Vision" enrollment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The entire world has been abuzz with all the Superintendents of school districts that are headed to China so that they can enhance the "Global Vision" of their school districts for the upcoming school year....such is it also for the Normal, Mn. school district, 250 students strong, where the entire administrative staff will head to China for a cultural encounter this summer, and then branch off and visit Paris and Germany in the ever widening search for foreign students, who might find education in the frozen tundra an enriching experience...as a sidenote, these educators would like to get a special charter rate, and would like all educators across the country to contact them so that they can charter a new Boeing 787 with all the amenities, but would of course save off the regular fare...stay tuned as I follow this story....

Class of 50 has FOUR valedictorians: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text today from my fisherman friends in Normal, Mn....ya there was some cynicism among the guys that in a town so small, and a senior class of 50, how could there be FOUR valedictorians---but the Assistant Principal, yes there are two administrators in this high school of 250 kids, said that in Normal, Mn they do not go by the bell curve...they let the kids achieve up to their potential, or what goes by potential in them their parts...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sports Lovers who never attend governmental meetings seek outlet for strong views: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Well last weekend, I finally relented and made the long drive, up north of the Twin Cities to Normal, Mn., hoping to get some quiet fishing in...and after a blissful night at the Spruce Goose Motel, where all the rooms have mounted deer on the walls, and all the beds fold down from the wall, and each room has two little mini snickers candy bars under the pillow.....I headed off to Betty Lou's coffee shop on Saturday morn. Kind a different assortment of bass fishermen in that coffee shop on Saturday---all retired and all former athletes from the Normal, Mn high school...none had ever participated in virtually any local civic meeting...they had no time for that..they were too busy watching sports on t.v. or fishing...but they had very strong views on...well pretty much everything...and they...after several cups of coffee, double strong...with sugar...and yes with whipped cream at no extra charge...started shouting at each other about the latest local issue...and it all came down to a key point... "Why won't anybody listen to us?"

Locals excited about rise of temporary employment: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the nursing supervisor of the memory care unit of the Mother of Mercy Retirement Home in Normal, Mn.---virtually all of the regular residents were pretty excited today about the jobs report as it was reported on the morning news---that there was an increase in jobs...even though they were mostly temporary....and yes the unemployment rate went up...and the numbers in the stock market kept going up in enthusiasm about the number.....and to a resident they just loved the way the announcer spoke with such enthusiasm...stay tuned as I follow all the economic news events from our local nursing home...

New Gen X: Shunning Homes, Cars...and next ...FOOD: Tales from Normal,Mn: FICITON

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---where in the early morning hours, right before heading out to fish for bass, they talk about the latest...and the word today was that the next gen, Gen X generation, has given up on buying homes and autos...they are renting and using the bus to make the planet more sustainable...but the other news today---they are beginning to give up FOOD. The guys have speculated it was because so much of the food was packaged and unhealthy eating of stuff like milk, cheese, meat, brats and the like...but some also speculated that their wages meant that they could not afford to buy food....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Media Demand a Market Crash ...to help ratings: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop...that iconic little hole in the wall coffee shop, where all the coffee is double strong, with sugar and the whipped cream is no extra charge...anyway...it seems that the media of Normal, Mn....well mostly just some small community rags...are demanding that there be a market crash immediatley...despite whatever the government pundits say...and the reason the market crash is necessary is to precisely preserve the integrity of those who have been calling for a crash for at least a year now...and yes they have been frustrated that after insisting that "GOLD" was the only safe haven, they have gone ahead and lost much of their portfolio in gold mining stocks...and then after being gutsy and investing in high yielding dividend stocks, wall street has turned on them and said these are bad investments..huh? the locals are simply fit to be tied...they want a crash to make the believers believe that their hope is really in gold and the Almighty..in that order...thank you.

Wall Street trashes dividend stocks in morning....changes mind in afternoon: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

It sure is important to have TIVO in the morning for watching those Wall Street Pundits----it is always best to wait a good 48 hours before acting cause usually...usually...they have changed their minds...stay tuned.

70 and 80 yr old residents strongly argue for 30 year repayment terms: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the boys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn....where each morning, and especially on those early rainy mornings when one can't get out early to fish---the guys has been raving about the meeting the other night at the City Council Chamber, where every 70 and 80 yr old citizen of Normal, Mn had gathered to argue for at least 30 years repayment for some recent beautiful downtown remodeling.....they felt it was indeed beautiful work, and that the grandkids would truly benefit from all this wonderful work, and thus they should be the ones that should pay for it....they sure seemed to have the argument down...and to a man and woman they were sure that a long repayment, or indeed...payment by others after their death was the way to go....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Excitement builds with Housing value rise...and interest rate rise: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop are pretty excited that their housing values have risen...it gives them a sense of satisfaction in preparation for paying their year end real estate taxes, which have been very high since 2003, when the reassessment was done...and thus values have been 130% of reality ever since...It has been painful, but the press releases have been comforting... And the news that the Fed is finally going to stop easing and allow interest rates to rise, or even skyrocket,,,and the interest rates for mortgages have been rising..thank god...that means that the housing prices will come down as folks cannot offer much less qualify for houses of the higher valuation..and then cash will be king...and to a bass fisherman, they are excited that the plunge in house valuation has just begun...maybe the homes that only cost 12,500 in 1960 and now are appraised at $200K will come down...maybe...maybe...not in any locality we live in....but maybe..somewhere.

Gov declares "Millions for Fish; Not a dime for fishermen": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn., where all the coffee is double strong, plus sugar, and the whipped cream is no extra charge---and where all the bass fisherman meet each morning to talk about what the fish are eating...and ya what the politicians are saying, but not doing. This morning it seems the guys were all abuzz with the fact that the state governor has declared millions for stocking the lakes with bass, but at the same time has said there will not be a dime for jobs, healthcare...or anything else but aid for corporations that want to relocate within the state...needless to say...the guys were not pleased... So...I just texted back to the guys what I thought was the explanation according to the natural law: Fish are creatures of the Almighty that have been preyed on by vicious predators, like men, and need affirmative protection. Society must intervene to protect them and spend tax dollars so that tourists can spend gasoline dollars and drive on our new roadways to get to fish in this fine state. Fishermen on the other hand: they are totally self reliant and able to do anything...if they do not like being unemployed they can go elsewhere anytime they want. It is survival of the fittest....yes...they might have to leave town to survive. Well, well, well....I got the reply and the bass fishermen did not like my response...It was just a short message: They said: "We want to be FISH too...we want equal rights."

Both Employers and Employees Agree: If they cannot each get what they want...their morale will be low..: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---the bass fishing guys that took the morning off this am due to overcast conditions...and after their second full coffee...double strong...lots of sugar and with the whipped cream free...they reached a consensus....they agreed that both employers and employees are sending the signal in their public relations...that if they do no get what they want...they will be VERY disappointed...and everyone better watch out if their morale gets down.....

Economic Development: City wants new direction: Hires Three Econ. Development Coordinators: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee shop in Normal, Mn.----seems that in order to "jump start" the development progress in Normal, Mn....which by the way has been at a standstill for the past 5 years...ever since the last development conference....they have decided rather than hire an expensive development director who might go out to expensive restaurants with influential sorts...they would hire three very less expensive "coordinators" who would keep themselves busy coordinating with each other....that way...even if no development happened, at least the time sheets would be filled with meetings involved with all the coordinating...nice..

"Vouchers" blamed for Minnesota Weather: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn.....they are very sure that the extreme weather in Minnesota lately...with a snowstorm this week...all this weather was caused by private school "vouchers." I did text them back and asked for clarification...They said that they were considering blaming foreign terrorism, due to religious extremism, but after thinking about it, there has been so little religion of any sort in Normal, Mn. that it did not seem reasonable..Then again, years ago before vouchers, the weather was so much more regular...and thus vouchers must be the cause. Local labor pundits were pleased...after all, that had been their mantra for years. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Realtors say demand high for Minn Homes---cannot meet demand---folks dying to see snow on April 20th: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the guys in Normal, Mn....at Betty Lou's coffee shop...the buzz is that folks all over the country are just dying to buy some property in Minnesota..in fact there is just not enough homes on the market...and yes of course many citizens cannot sell their homes cause they are under water with their mortgages...but...because of the high demand of buyers who just want to see the novelty of SNOW in MAY...that alone has created quite a bit of traffic...ya just have to know that the quality of life is high when you can skate on ice...that is the symbol of high quality...stay tuned as I follow the story.

After 5 Years of Slanderous Comments, Newspaper considers moderation...maybe: Tales from Normal, Mn.

Well..well..well...just got the text today that the local newspaper in these here parts, the "Fishgut News" which has been online now for almost 5 years now, and has had a free wheeling comment section where folks could put almost anything imaginable to slander one another on...well...after reaching a peak of slander in the recent election where articles from the paper were followed by slanderous input from folks online...the editor said...that maybe..after a thorough review...they might do something....and that same slow..methodical...oily like slow process is probably the same reason that the news biz is dying...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Gov says he ripped the fish nets, burned the bread--all for love: Tales from Normal, Mn.: Fiction

Just got the startling text today from Normal, Mn. from the guys at Betty Lou's coffee shop---seems that the Gov of that fair state has said that he has ripped the safety nets, and destroyed the bread of the poor---all out of love for their independence...and that no greater love any man has but to vanquish another to make them strong....wow...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Elementary School Children chosen for Planning Commission Duties: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the word has gone out from city hall in Normal, Mn. that elementary school kids have been asked for who would like to participate in the planning process for the community....Relax...the kids would have to be in Kindergarten, and at least six years old.... The theory is that since few adults of the community care or in the alternative will risk saying anything at public meetings, and mostly just wait till they are told how to vote...at least the kids will have fresh ideas, and will be a little less controlled... This could be kind of "wild and crazy"---at least the elders do not expect any historic districts to be on the front burner...Stay tuned as I follow this story.

A Rules Official for Each and Every Golfer in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that the guys in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's coffee shop were just stunned this morning on the morning news shows when it was proposed that a rules official be with each group of golfers...as an innovation. The guys just snickered---shucks they said: Up here in Normal, Mn we assign a rules guy to each and every golfer---it is a sign of pride and of the very high moxie that we recognize that the top heavy hitters are very prone to indiscretions...even such indiscretions as rule violations....and a bad lie, or a bad lay are all part of the same game...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Guys looking for a "Safe Haven" : Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Friday morning was quite an event in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop---I got the blow by blow account by text this morn---it seems that when the job numbers were released---only 88000 jobs were created, and in fact the job participation rate had gone down...not because the old folks were retiring, but because the young had just given up.... And the guys were just staring up at those tv screens with the S&P graphs all over the place...with the guys from "FAST MONEY" talking fast...so fast that the guys were waiting for "SLOW MONEY" to come on...anyway...the buzz over coffee was where a "SAFE HAVEN" might be. Ya they knew there was a town called Gullhaven, but that was not a safe haven, but just a town of old... Then the guys hit on it....Why not let the safe haven be Phoenix in February---it would snow real hard...but then in two weeks it would get warm as blazes....maybe that is what would be safe....They never could agree on where the Safe Haven might be...Maybe you have some ideas.. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Wall Street is Excited that People are Giving Up": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from the guys at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn. that they were a little puzzled that so much of the Wall Street Gurus are very excited that the unemployment rate has fallen because so many Americans have left the workforce, and have given up on looking for work--which is the key thing to have them removed from the statistics. To a man, those walleye fisherman felt that it was bad when we motivate politicians to look better when regular Americans are harmed...I just stared at the phone text with wonder---it is real special when regular fishermen get it, even when the only investment they have is in bait and tackle. Stay tuned as I follow this story.

All the COACHES are "Volunteer" in Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today,,that all the coaches in Normal, Mn. High School, and in fact the entire school system, have been placed on volunteer status, and at their own request...they just love the sport, they just are dedicated to the kids and their health, and they are loyal to their community....I was just stunned to hear the good news.....Hats off to these fine folks.

"Shocking" Layoffs hit Normal, Mn.: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from Normal, Mn. that there has been shocking news...about shocking layoffs in the established, do not touch professions, the ones that folks lived and worked and sacrificed in so that they would never be shocked by cutbacks...and they made severe sacrifices to make...very high wages for 9 months work or so, and/or got very nice thank you pensions that nobody bothered to really calculate the real cost of if...in times of contraction..one had to really pay for them...it was always assumed that the entities would just discourage folks from staying for more than five years or so, and thus there would be just minimul liability...but in a total surprise folks decided to make it a career, and the nice regular folks that sat on boards that decide such matters, and never understood the matters, but were waiting for someone up higher to warn them of fire and difficult decisions that needed to be made....never even dimly understood, much less acted to serve the public. And so...pink slips.

"Americans are excited about lower wages": Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today from the fishing guys at Betty Lou's Cafe in Normal, Mn, that they are getting pretty excited about all the good news about America's corporate profits caused by lower wages driving stocks higher and higher....Even though as they stare at the giant tv's in the cafe in the morning, just past 6am is best for the best seating...and they just love it when the highly caffeinated guys on the morning stock tv shows talk about how the SandP keeps going higher and higher, and this seems to match the higher and higher they feel with the double strong caffeine plus the whipped cream that is no extra at Betty Lou's. It is kind of funny when one just ponders...none of the guys has any stocks...they just invest in minnows and bait for fishing walleyes...but still they are real positive about the future of America and all the great things that will hopefully come of all this greed, and the wonderful things that come of greed...at least the wonderful things they talk about on t.v.

More sports solves Normal,Mn Academic Decay: Tales From Normal, Mn: Fiction

Working on this story--got a short text today that hinted that by requiring all students to be 5 sport athletes, the ACT scores just skyrocketed upward in Normal, Mn...stay tuned...

"In Order for the firm to be "nimble" You need to sign the resignation form in front of you": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text from Normal, Mn that the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's coffee shop were just flabergasted when one of the guys was pitched that the firm he worked for wanted to be "Nimble" and needed to terminate him and then consider his reemployment on entirely different terms and conditions...the young 21yr old senior executive seemed to be well intentioned enough with his bright smile and glazed eyes, but ...our friend just kept thinking that he was of a different planet...maybe the planet Earth had been taken over by aliens who had forgotten a bit...like everything about employment...and then had substituted the alien culture...maybe like slavery....The guys did the best to console him and even offered to buy the coffee, double strong with a dash of whipped cream...but he insisted he needed something stronger...stay tuned as I follow this story...it seems to be spreading all across the country.