What the World Needs is a Great Tank Battle as adjunct to a Humanitarian Mission: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen...who in their youth were mostly tank guys from Iraq....and they cannot wait till the Abrams tanks get to take on the Russian tanks in the Ukraine...of course this battle would be purely a military exercise and would of course have an associated humanitarian mission, consisting of last rites to the Russian tanks...and of course we could dedicate the battle to all the tank heroes from WWII from Janesville, Wisconsin....may they rest in peace.....stay tuned....Just think...the armed drones on top and the tanks below....what a combo....

Americans Very Confident about 1.50% Growth: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.---they have been amusing about the newscasts this morning where consumer confidence is up since folks are very confident about the 1.5% growth in the economy forecasted for 2014...in fact they are so confident they are not buying much retail goods, and most certainly are not buying homes...and new home sales are down....and they have decided to buy overpriced small apartments that may someday look like hotel rooms in Japan...anyway....how sweet it all is....like the rose and the thorn...but mostly thorns....

Russians decide to drink all of their Vodka themselves: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen of Normal, Mn...and they all have been watching the world news this morning...and as they sat around the black and white tv at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where the coffee is the latest, but everything else is very vintage...to a man they came to the same conclusion after hearing about the chaos in the Ukraine and Russia...it is clear that the Russians have decided to drink all of their vodka...their behavior proves it...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Priceless Heritage found in cave in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news...via tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn, who have taken the rainy morning off and are holed up at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop..where all the coffee is double strong..and the whipped cream is no extra charge....it seems that this past weekend some young boys were exploring in the caves around Normal, Mn., and they discovered on one wall something pretty unusual...and in a moment they were thunderstruck because it just proved that hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago...humans were here and well..they were our ancient heritage...they saw the words carved out that we see all over the world today from humans of the highest order....." We need more and better weapons."

All the Lakes in Normal, Mn. are filled with sewage: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen...seems it is a classic story...the town had wanted to be so historic..being in the land of 10,000 lakes...and some of the outlying farms surrounding the fishing areas of Normal, Mn had wanted to feel touristy too...so they got the bulldozers out...created some artificial lakes...and planted some attractive trees around the ponds...all went well for a short time...seemed like a picture out of a Norman Rockwell painting...but ya cannot smell a Norman Rockwell painting...and soon the manure from all the surrounding farms gradually seeped into the ponds...and thus...all around Normal, Mn. there are ponds that...if you have nose plugs on...look like a perfect painting...sweet....

So Russia May ban Bourbon imports? Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn.---and they were stunned this morning to hear that not only is Russia going to hassle McDonalds since there is fat in their products, but may ban American bourbon....the "Gentleman's bourbon" made in Kentucky....the bass fishermen were amused by the speculation that was rampant that the next thing would be for the Russians to keep all their vodka for themselves...it might shorten their lifespan further, but then...anything to further the trade sanctions....to a man, they all hoped that we could export cheap wine coolers since no self respecting fisherman liked them anyway...and also those cheap flavored vodka brands...the choice is only to export or to give the stuff away...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Publishers Scramble to remove lies from books: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's---wild celebrations this morning with free coffee for all as they celebrated the legal victory of Jesse "the body" Ventura in his lawsuit for defamation....and in a postscript, the publisher of the book, HarperCollins is removing the chapter of the book in question...and all over New York this morning, and yes in Wisconsin too, publishers, who are people, cause corporations are people under the Constitution now---publishers are rushing to review their books to see whether they can paste over the lies, or maybe just remove the books from publication...and in related news, the Normal Minnesota Library announced today that they have removed 500 books from circulation...and they were non-fiction...they kept all the light romance novels...which are the most popular requests in the frozen tundra...and all over America online book publishers are wondering where to begin....their first thought is to just publish fiction....stay tuned as I follow this story.

What Putin Learned from HW Bush: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. at Betty Lou's coffee shop...seems that the guys spent some time this morning sipping strong coffee since the weather was foggy....they thought back to the time when HW Bush, faced with the Vincennes case, said it did not matter what the facts were...he would never admit that the USA was wrong....and they reflected that it appears that Putin is following the distinguished lead of HW Bush....and oh yes...Stalin...in forming his conduct...stay tuned....

Train and Bus use skyrocket as Plane crashes average 1 per day over last week; Tales From Normal,MN; FICTION

The bass fishermen have spoken...they only want to fly on airplanes that have "defensive measures" and will only take buses and trains till they see changes...so they are fishing local...and they love it....why fly to the Ukraine when you can fish locally...stay tuned.

Cars rented as Exclusive minimulist housing emerging across America: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a simple parking ticket recently that was dismissed by the local authorities has sent shock waves across America....a bass fisherman who was residing in a truck and camper setup was absolved of any penalty when he revealed that this was not just a car, but an exclusive minimulist apartment that,,,if rented to a stranger for what would go as "fair value" in Minnesota, would be about $1000 per month....the court agreed quickly and described the man...not as a transient..but as a new age hipster that was creating new horizons for America...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Normal, Mn Airport Bans Flights to Russia: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

"Blue Sky Airport", the local airport just outside of Normal, Mn., boldly announced on Tuesday that they would be banning all flights to Russia due to the high risks involved....as the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop noted this morning, this was pretty much a ceremonial gesture...since all the planes at "Blue Sky" are just single engine Piper planes, and there is really no control tower, and pretty much the pilots do what they want...still...it was a bold move, and it captured the imagination of all the flying public, which just wish all airports across the nation could be like..."Normal."

Students in Justice degree program seek justice;;allege misrepresentation of prospects: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got tweet from the bass fisherman at Betty Lou's in Normal, Mn---seems there was a vigorous discussion this morning about the students at Globe Business College that have alleged that after spending considerable money, debt mostly, to attain a degree from the institution, they cannot even use this degree in Minnesota...and their prospects were widly misrepresented.....the article the bass fishermen read suggested that the case might have wider implications....so the bass fishermen just let their minds wander about what the broader implications might be....maybe even marriage would not be possible under the current state of affairs if a full and fair representation of what the risks entailed were not signed off on...but the bass fishermen after reflection felt that this was being handled by the reluctance of men to marry....they have already signed off on the risk by aversion to marriage...but then what about other misrepesentations....lets see...you can insert a few here......enjoy.

Hospital in Normal, Mn endorses "Self-Care": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning...from the 24 yr. old single hospital administrator of Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Hospital in Normal, Mn....and acute care hospital of 35 beds in addition to an attached extended care facility... The hospital administrator announced that because of the recent emphasis on cost saving, the hospital would be placing more emphasis on "self-care" and how to not admit patients to acute care by providing them with with alternatives...like living at their own home under heavy medication and other possibilities...and the hospital also announced converting half of the current patient rooms into executive suites for hospital employees who were very busy with lots of paperwork...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Bear" Traders on Wall Street Angry that "dumb" investors are still buying stocks: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

The Wall Street trading rooms look like vacant caverns like the salt caves in St.Paul...ya where the mob during the 1930's hung out.....bear traders in hedge firms have been pretty wrong...some are still hanging on after they called for the big short when the Standard and Poors was at 1640.....most have capitulated....so they are angry...and broke...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Fall Comes to Normal, MN.; Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Temps dipped today in the frozen tundra, and locals began the precious ritual of looking for their winter snow gear which they had just packed on the landing to the basement just a couple of months ago...after all ---it is July 15, and it is the time to begin the preparation for ice fishing....

Special Prison proposed just for Illinois government officials: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Story still in development...talking to authorized sources...stay tuned.

"Underwater" Rich Trash the "Underwater" Poor: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just heard the news...quite a disturbance yesterday morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, MN., where all the bass fishermen gather each morning to chat before they launch their boats...seems that one of the wealthiest men in Normal stopped in to have coffee, and after a couple strong ones, with the whipped cream, started to rant about how all the problems of America were due to the poor not paying their own way....all the fishermen just paused and smiled...to a man they knew that the rich guy had just lost his large home due to foreclosure...he had bought at the peak of 2003....and his investment had been cut in half in value.... So....with the silent response...the rich guy understood...they all knew...it was not the poor he hated but himself...and he left the coffee shop quietly....

Fishermen Celebrate Jesse "the body" Ventura--the Truth Matters: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's this morning...they are all waiting for more news on the trial in St. Paul where former governor Jesse Ventura is suing for libel...and to a man all the fishermen are rooting for him...they observed that in the world today, where all news is half fiction, half fact, and it is hard to know which is which...it is high time that authors are held to factual accuracy....the case in St. Paul which is in progress right now, can make a difference in a world where publishing has degenerated to mostly "lies" whether it is in politics, investment, religion...(you fill in your suggestion here.) Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Give Away Everything you have....so you can buy more: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---who were watching the news on tv at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, and the segment on "Cleaning the clutter"...a special ten part series on how to get rid of...well...almost everything in order to achieve the inner peace of perfect organization... To a man they just laughed..."The purpose of giving it all away is to get "the new"....that is the way it always has been...the purpose of giving is either the tax deduction, or a veiled strategy of convincing the spouse of getting new stuff to fill the embarassing vacant space...thus it was never about love or gift giving, but just more greed..... yes...its been raining for days and the bass fishermen are a bit down...they will liven up when the sun gets back up...stay tuned...

High Water Brings Peace to Normal, Mn: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. who have been sipping coffee for days as they have waited patiently for the water to go down so they could go back to some serious fishing...the recent high water, low wake situations where only sail boats and pontoons have been usable has crippled the entire prosperity of normal, Mn., but it has brought wonderful bliss to the regular citizens who have been given some peace from the usual noise of boating, and also a break from the regular drunkeness of visitors who have stayed away due to the poor fishing conditions....Now the fishermen just get up at sunrise to watch the sunrise...nice...

All Kardashian network launched in Normal, Mn.: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.....seems some of the men have become confused by the intermixing of fact and fiction in their computer browsers, whereas right next to a major story of war and woe is the story of the latest escapade of the Kardashians....so the guys...after a couple strong coffee with the whipped cream at no extra charge, have come up with the idea of a 24 hour tv network, and a computer site as well that is totally dedicated to the latest bare breasted shot of the Kardashians...that way, the news can go back to the days when the facts and the fiction were in different sections...whereas today they are back to back...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Employers hope that lowering wages will increase hiring: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...that local employers were very pleased with the some 280000 jobs created in June 2014, and they hoped to create even more jobs in the coming months by reducing the effective wages of current employees by moving them to "On call" or hour to hour employees that could be sent home in cases of slower traffic of business, which was becoming a reality as customers were getting more and more dissatisfied with poor service caused by demoralized staff...still the upside is that all those temp workers caused the national numbers to skyrocket and thus it created the appearance of economic growth...nice....

Cities held liable for Hearing Loss from Fireworks: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Cities all across the frozen tundra were alarmed yesterday when the appelate court ruled that cities that sponsored loud music events and fireworks for the fourth of July could be held liable for hearing loss of the spectators...the court noted in an extensive opinion that just a casual review of recent events made clear that the music could only be heard clearly from six blocks away due to the extreme loudness that must be deliberate to hide the poor quality of the musicians....and the court also noted that over the years the tradition of fireworks has blossomed into a loud extravaganza that clearly went along with hearing loss events of the viewers....all cities and towns were notified to make sure that their municipal liability policies had clauses to include the liability exposure....

Currency Stabliizes at Zero....Janet Pleased; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

"Janet", the legendary wait person at the Normal, Mn Bait Store, where they sell only fresh bait and lures, spoke quietly to a bass fisherman this morning, as she was packaging up some fresh bait...."I am so pleased that the currency in the US has stabilized, even if it is now valued at ZERO....and I also know that it takes 20 to 30 years from a major depression event for the economy to recover, and surely the current seniors will stop complaining about the low yields on their lifetime savings, once they have died...a serious saver who has been very frugal and saved 5 million dollars, will have an income of $50,000 and it will be a tough retirement but who knows about the unfortunate ones that have saved less..." Stay tuned as I follow the musing of Janet the bait wait.....

Unpaid Volunteer Job Numbers Skyrocket Higher...Wall Street Happy: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems the unpaid jobs number has skyrocketed higher...and the dogshxxx jobs category has skyrocketed higher too...and Wall Street has responded by moving higher in pleasure....a brief moment of predator bliss...stay tuned.

Foreign Nation decides to fly armed drones in USA to protect its foreign exchange students:

Just got the tweet...seems that foreign countries are pretty impressed with the action of the USA to fly drones over Iraq to protect the 75 or so US soldiers on the ground...so the foreign nations are beginning to fly armed drones over the USA to protect their interests and of course also the foreign exchange students studying here...after all they want to imitate the actions of our great country to show how good learners they have become....stay tuned.

Politicians promise to mend all wrongs, return to golden age: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet..seems that the politicians from the frozen tundra have promised, if elected, to repair all the wrongs, replace all the lost income in the past seven years, turn water into wine, and still have wonderful economic development and jobs for everyone....nice...

Church Leader cuts off Mob: Local bishops are silent...still hoping for contributions: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a courageous church leader has called out the Mob for their criminal activity and cut them off from the Church...and the individual faithful, the regular church goers on a daily basis have cheered...the local parish priests have also cheered but their superiors, the bishops have just stayed clam faced and are still hoping for some donations to come their way...stay tuned...

Conservative Politicians decide to Sue Everybody: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the head of the Conservative politicians of Washington, DC has announced that in frustration with not getting his way, he plans on suing all branches of government and all elected officials for not doing their duty to follow his instructions and vote as he has indicated....I would think since all the defendants are lawyers anyway, they will get the message that he is conveying...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Retail and Home Sales Plunge---folks optimistic: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...it is the home selling time of the year and yet home sales are down...and retail sales are down too...but...the pundits are still smiley faced...gun sales are up....nice.