Computer Giant Explains Jobs Created: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

A leading computer manufacturer today proclaimed that they have created over five thousand jobs last year, and explained that the number would have been 500,000 except that they did not count the employees that they did not pay because independent contractors had stiffed these employees of their wages. In related news, the University of Wisconsin Chancellor said he stood firmly for human rights, except in some cases where money was involved, and wanted to go slowly in the matter of the Addidas contract where many employees had not been paid---in fact almost 1.5 million dollars worth of wages...and In related news, the University of Wisconsin has said that its alumni "felt comfortable" in providing alcohol to underage athletes, a press announcement that was ignored since the whole nation already knew this breaking news.