Oil Option Traders Blame Pres Obama for Oil Rise: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Oil speculators in Normal, Mn. were furious today at the recent rise in oil on the exchanges and in terse interviews blamed President Obama for his actions as the cause of the rise....without the rampant rise in oil prices put buyers had hoped to make a killing in the various complicated spread options they had put on, but now they face the prospect of not making a tremendous profit on their hedges and they blame the President. In related news, put buyers on the auto sector were furious that the auto industry has survived, and blamed the President for saving an industry that clearly was headed for the eve of destruction, and complained that they would have made a killing on their positions except for the actions of the government in saving autos. In related news, the politicians in Normal, Mn asserted that if only the unvarnished predatory instincts of market makers were realized then the true bloom of the original vision of the Founders of Democracy could flourish---and then, and only then could a few elite few emerge to lead this great nation, and they could be distinguished because they would only be paying 15% of their income in taxes and would be driving Cadillacs to show that they really do love America.