Tales From Normal, Mn.--FICTION

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Tales from Normal, Mn. Headline News---FICTION

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Class scheduled next week to help bass fishermen talk fast Jersey bloomberg style: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Today all the bass fishermen gathered ,post election, to listen to the bloomberg channel with their slick fast talking anchors talking in their brit rapid style and anchors getting excited that they could make that fast presentation and not make their words run over....the new up tempo moxie brit style is the best...and the bass fishermen have been frustrated that they cannot keep up to the fast talking types...so next week...on Wednesday...the bass fishermen will have a special speaker from Jersey who is spending the entire day teaching them how to talk faster...from the brochure, the speaker has said it is no problem about the thinking part...that is always slow..even in Jersey...

"Investors might be "abandoned" : Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

The bass fishermen met this morn to celebrate the election results from last night, and were amused by the side story that some major New York investment firms were warning that if the new "fiduciary standards" legislation is passed for retirement accounts that the result would be that small accounts all across this land would not be worth the time of predatory brokers to deal with....sweet....the bass fishermen cannot wait...no more large fees, just robots now to serve them...and with the automated accounts the fees are prominently displayed on the portfolio account...how refreshing is that? Bring it on...let the abandonment be good....

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Presidential Candidate wants to Use his bankruptcy expertise to Help America: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop....where there has been some hot and heavy talk this morning about which Republican candidate for President would be the best candidate to lead America...and the front runner has said that he wants to utilize his vast bankruptcy experience to get the best deal for America....stay tuned.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Full Employment Achieved but we keep laying off everybody: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen this morning...there is some confusion as they meet at Betty Lou's for coffee this morning..with all that extra strong coffee and the free whipped cream....they wonder about the cause and effect...is America at full employment BECAUSE they are laying off everybody? How do those rules of economic and equations work? Stay tuned as I folow this story.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Presidential Candidate considers Proposal that all Governors be LTE Temp with no benefits: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn...where last night there was a mini debate among the locals...and they were all a twitter about one candidate that was considering the proposal of the bass fishermen that all Governors be LTE Temporary employees with no benefits...that way they could better understand the citizens they represent...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Candidate Urges Upscale Park Bench Development--TIF sought: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the Bass fishermen in Normal, Mn meeting for coffee at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop....seems one of the latest is the proposal from a developer to create many more park bench "assets" as he calls them, with built in wi-fi and phone recharging capability. His proposal is for a reservation system so folks can reserve their park bench in advance using software similar to Uber car reservations...He estimates that the spots will be retailed for $400 per month on a prepaid basis. He is looking for TIF funding from the local community to cover the extensive financial burden to him and noting the substantial public benefit. He is hoping that his undertaking will create the possibility of franchising in cities across the land. Stay tuned as I follow this development.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Political Candidate thinks running a "National" Campaign is to attack EVERY woman in America: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....drinking coffee at Betty Lou's coffee shop this morn...and to a man they were pretty disgusted by what the media folk consider macho in national politics...and with one particular candidate for president going ballistic when asked the perfectly normal question in hindsight...whether he might have a problem attacking women...and he promptly attacked her and then proceeded to que up other notable women in America to attack....this type of conduct goes against all the rules of good fishing...where the subjects are fish, what they are hungry for...beer...and provisions....trashing women is always unlucky when it comes to fishing...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Cue Card holders sought for Presidential Campaign;;;Thousands needed; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems that creative, cue card holders are being sought for the current Presidential Campaign...and what is in demand is young, quick thinking adults who can think on their feet, and hold up promptly cue cards to the current Presidential candidates so that they can be quick on their feet....stay tuned...

Building Starts Skyrocket as Builders Plan on an apartment for Everyone: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...the bass fishermen from Betty Lou's Coffee Shop have been at it this morn...some of the guys have gone out to Portland to some salmon fishing, but some were holding down the fort and....as usual...were doing some heavy political lifting in the frozen tundra...they were arguing about the skyrocketing housing starts were announced in the morning news...it seems that young, middle aged, and seniors....everyone...is getting excited about renting for the rest of their lives...and builders have responded by building small..teeney tiny...apartments for them...so that the renters can be happily squashed for their entire lives...stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Trump says that Walker Screwed up Wisconsin: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the latest from Iowa...where Donald Trump swiftly dismissed Gov Walker of Wisconsin...as the guy that completely screwed up Wisconsin....sweet...stay tuned as I follow this story.

"Trump is the finest Republican" Bass fishermen say; Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop in Normal, Mn....where all the coffee is double strong with a generous helping of whipped cream at no extra charge...and this morning they are smiling....cause they have concluded that Donald Trump with all his fine debating skills, is the best that the Republicans have to offer...and they just smile and say no more...they are cool with it....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Presidential Candidate Proud of Beer, Bait and Ammo...and college dropouts: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet today...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn---they agree that beer, bait and ammo is the highest of perfection...but not college dropouts..like their sister state Wisconsin...make a note of it.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Residents Decide to Celebrate Heritage by Drinking Cheap Beer: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the news from Normal, Mn: Huge battle this month at the Normal, Mn planning commission...where the :"beer" faction faced off against the "bass" faction as to where the true heritage of this fine community resided...but in the end...beer, and more specifically "cheap beer" won the day...to a man they felt that "cheep beer" most uniquely described their heritage....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Mayor Refuses to Convey Election Results---says it might be "Confusing": Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen from Normal, Mn....seems that they are pretty upset this morning as they have heard the news that their local mayor, Miss Queen Bee, has refused to convey the local election results because she felt that the results might be too confusing. In a carefully designed news release, she stated that she "wanted to convey the leadership of the city in her own way, and did not want the election results to confuse the voters." Stay tuned.

Gov Rides Harley: Wants it to be the core of his Presidential Campaign: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morn from the bass fishermen from up in Normal, Mn;;;they switched to some new extra strong coffee from the "Bent and Dent", a local Amish outlet store, and due to the tremendous strength of this new coffee, they have become more productive immediately....they were talking this morning about the new buzz from Wisconsin...where the governor is thinking about making a run for President, collecting the multimillion dollars that such pondering entails, and also riding a Harley and looking very Presidential, or what "Presidential" looks like in some of these parts....One of the positives that the guys noted was that it is hard to consult with anyone, talk on the phone, or be collegial in any way when one is riding a Harley...and they thought that was a perfect fit...stay tuned as I follow this story.

There is SO much gasoline that prices keep rising: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn----they had a huge meeting this morning at Betty Lou's coffee shop and were trying to figure out...after several cups of very strong coffee, and of course the free whipped cream, why it is that with the huge glut of gas in America due to fracking, that prices keep rising...and after all the loud argument...they finally agreed that this was just basic economics...the more things are in quantity, the more they cost....stay tuned

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Wisconsin Governor threatens to eliminate road kill removal: creates Panic: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet today...the Gov of Wisconsin has announced his latest budget cutting measure....eliminating dead carcass removal from Wisconsin roadways....and citizens have gone ballistic...just the thought of all those stacked deer on the side of the roadways has been too much to bear...stay tuned as I follow this story...

Monday, April 13, 2015

Man searches the entire world; finds the best: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTIOM

The interim president of the Normal, Minnesota Mental Health Facility, after a global search to find the best candidate to lead the institution into the 21st century...has announced that a candidate has been found...and it is himself....stay tuned as I follow this story.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

"All the pilots were Saudi's": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet this morning from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn...where all the coffee is double strong..and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and this morning in a brief exchange..when one of the guys mentioned that magic phrase...911....he responded that "yup...all the pilots were Saudis, but we invaded Afganistan...how sweet is that?"

Water Rates to Double in Normal, Mn....;; Inflation Cited; and Economic Development: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn. that the public service commission will be having a hearing about the proposed rate increase of water rates for Normal, Mn...and in the mystery that has rivaled the imaculate conception, the theory behind the rate increase is "inflation"....how nice is that...in the period between 2007 and 2015...there has been nothing but deflation in housing values...but nothing but inflation in cost of public services, which include public safety and public utilities, which does include loans to developers that by mutual consent are not paid back...how sweet is that...stay tuned..the public hearing is coming.

No airbrushed photos in Normal, Mn: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.----they decided after a short dicussion over extra strong coffee this morning...that all photos will be real...no airbrushing...in Normal, Mn....and the announcement has brought a huge outpouring of support from all the guys and gals that have all along looked pretty regular on facebook, and have wished they knew how to airbrush....stay tuned...

Friday, February 13, 2015

Bass Fishermen cannot wait till interest rates get to ZERO: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Remember when the Chrysler K car was introduced...you should remember since that was when this very car was going to be the thing that saved America....when interest on car loans approached zero...and that is the hint...when interest rates get to zero, you know that the thing purchased is probably overpriced and ready for a fall....so the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn were just pretty amused today...as interest rates were plunging...and they were awaiting the further fall in prices..and the motto of the fishermen was "Every day, in every way...things are getting cheaper."

Midwest Governor Dreams of Running for President; Replacing Science with xxx: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...a famous Midwest governor who is thinking of running for President..is firmly devoted to converting all "research universities" into vocational focused institutions that deliver graduates that are to ready to hit the ground is welding and beer making industries....stay tuned as I follow this story.....

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Beer and Cheese State urges more public funding for Beer Development: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn.....that over coffee they were surprised that a neighboring governor who plans to run for President has been suggesting that the key to economic development is the expansion of beer and cheese...and that if an expedited economic development loan package can be approved quickly, it might be possible to double the level of beer and cheese consumption in that famous state by the time he runs for President...which would have the effect that most of the voters would be a little tipsy on election day...stay tuned....

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

A Failed State Is: Tales From Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....who were this very morning going over what they would describe as a "failed state"...After a long discussion lasting over two hours, they have agreed: A failed state is a place where the youth are busy in their bedroom playing war hero sniper games with several of their closest friends, and where they play these games at least 20 hours a week, so that when they are older, and unable to find useful employment, they can wander out among their neighborhoods and secure some guns and ammo and use the skills that they have developed online....the ages are of wide range...so I would just ask you.....what failed state do you live in?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

They're buying trucks in Normal, Mn.: the Russians are buying Porsches: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's...where they have put up a new flashing display of the exchange rates for the Ruble and the Euro and the dollar right above the coffee bar....this was done so they can be like all the rest of the world where the first thing folks do is to check the exchange rate and then decide what physical things to buy that day...gone are the ideas of financial investment...its about food, cars and trucks and luxuries etc.... For americans...gone are the ideas of fugality and gas economy....the citizens are following the Russians and buying big trucks...or for fishermen...big boats...stay tuned....

Citizens dream of "free" gasoline: Tales from Normal, Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...its freezing up in Normal, Mn. this morn...but after a couple of double strong mochas, the bass fishermen there are very hopeful that if the present trends keep up, we will see FREE gasoline....One lone fisherman pointed out that this delusion is a sign of a bottom....stay tuned.

Midwest Governor urges Drug Testing for all Welfare Recipients: Corporate too: and Politicians: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet...seems a midwest governor wants to have all welfare recipients get drug tested, but legislators have added amendments that have included all corporate economic development recipients to the list, as well as all politicans....the bass fishermen at Betty Lou's coffee shop in Normal, Mn. were just wildly enthusiastic about the prospect...some wanted to have all professionals who get specific lisences to be tested also...wow...I will keep you posted on the development of these proposals...stay tuned.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Cash Trumps Wall Street Bull this Christmas: Tales from Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the tweet from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn,,at Betty Lou's coffee shop, where all the guys have had a long coffee session since the weather has been so unseasonably mild that their ice shacks are very close to sinking into the water....and they have been glaring at the news on the old black and white tv over the coffee roasting machine that has been blaring out how stocks are plunging world wide....and they came up with a new indicator----the sinking ice shack indicator...that seems to sink just like their investments in 401K etc....and the old guys were mentioning the failure of traditional portfolio management in that when there are times of panic..Both stocks and bonds can plunge...and so the old guys just smiled and all vowed to never forget the mantra that they had learned as kids...."CASH trumps Wall Street BULL." Stay tuned as I follow this story.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

.25 cent gasoline: Memories of the bass fishermen of 1974:;; Tales from Normal Mn: FICTION

Just got the tweet...from the bass fishermen in Normal, Mn....they were sipping coffee this morning at Betty Lou's Coffee Shop, where all the coffee is double strong and the whipped cream is no extra charge...and the guys were remembering the good old days of 1973...when gas prices were .25 per gallon....and of course they also remembered that the prices of three bedroom ramblers was about $24,000 for a nice one used....and entry level jobs were about $500 a month.... Every single man was excited with the drop in gas prices and could not wait till they returned to .25 per gallon...and also they were waiting till the price of a three bedroom rambler in Minneapolis or St. Paul was $24,000...and that price included a new modern kitchen with dishwasher and such....Until then...the rule was just rent...stay tuned...those youngins are so hip.