"The Chamber"-----Fiction

Well it's been a real wild and crazy school board race, so right before the election, I thought I would go counterintuitive and escape to do a little reflection, and drive up to my favorite getaway----Normal, Mn.

About an hour this side of town, rolling along nicely on Hwy 10, I called Herman on my cell phone to see if he could meet me at the Hideaway Lounge.

"He's at "Chamber", his secretary said. "He should be through by 6PM. Just meet him at the Hideaway. I will get him the message."

As I parked the car at the Hideaway Lounge, I could see Herman's four wheel jeep, with the "No fear" sticker on the window, a trademark he loved just because it made him feel so young.. He waved a big wave from the bar and I headed towards him. He had already ordered me a drink.


"What's with the "Chamber" I asked. What is that?

"It used to be called the "Chamber of Commerce." Years ago, guys got frustrated cause that is just too darn long a name. Anyway, it still sounds like a death chamber or a gas chamber. The guys just call it "The Club."

"I suppose the purpose is really to drum up business for Normal?", I asked.

"Heavens no," Herman exclaimed. "We haven't added a business here in almost 50 years. The real purpose of the meeting is the lunch. It comes with membership. Once you pay the $150 annual fee, you get the monthly lunch and highball. The lunch is really special since it is the lunch combo special. Guys would cancel a vacation to get this deal. And yes. The regulars usually bring a half-pint of Jack Daniels in their coat to mix with a 7-UP. Sometimes ya need more than just one highball. "

"Besides," Herman went on, "Chamber" is really about keeping folks out----not letting them in. It is real important that we don't get any new fangled business in here that might harm one of the regulars....if you know what I mean. So when we do get a new prospect....we kinda hang em if you know what I mean."

The word "hang" kinda reminded me of the Saddam Hussein "chamber" and it kinda gave me the willies just to think of it.

It sure is good to get back to good old Wisconsin. Where we still have Chamber of Commerce and not just Chamber. Where we really can welcome the new.....and not get on with the hanging.