Dateline Normal: "The Destination Wedding"---Fiction

(Ed. this is one of a long series of tales from the land called Normal, Mn., a land not so unlike our own, up HWY 10 north of the Twin Cities, west of Lake Woebegone and south of Garrison. These tales are available for download FREE from Itunes, and when they are shipped out on cd, they are wrapped in a brown paper wrapper clearly marked FICTION. )

As a baby boomer, now that the kids are graduating from college, and beginning to pay their student loans, it has come as a shock to me that many have decided to get married----a shock since as I calculate it in my mind, they barely can afford an apartment and car with the wages that entry level jobs that are available can provide........

Recently, an excited friend announced that she was going to wed....and planned a "destination wedding." I was unsure of what she was talking about initially. Then she went over the details.

"Destination weddings can save $20,000 from the cost of a regular wedding," she declared in an excited tone. " In fact, by inviting one's closest family members, the lucky couple can get a special discount on lodging and air fare.........and....with the savings can upgrade to even a higher level of luxury. "

Then she just popped the laptop down in front of me and showed me the website. It seems that one could get a dream wedding and honeymoon that regularly cost $60,000 for the superrich, for only $20,000.

She did explain that she well understood that some family members might be unable to pay the 4-6,000 to getaway for a special vacation with the bride and groom. To accomodate those folks, the couple would come back to a local hotel later for a special reception so folks could give more gifts. Absolutely nobody would be overlooked.

As I listened to her speak, I could feel my windpipe begin to close and I felt that an inhaler was not going to help. Indeed, the anxiety was total. Then----just when my breathing was getting mos difficult, she blurted:

"Don't worry. We plan on putting this all on our credit cards. No problem."

I was speechless.

I sat down in the small diner after I arrived in Normal, and soon Herman, my old country boy lawyer friend, joined me for my usual coffee----dark bold, extra sugar and whipped cream, served in the usual dark blue Minnesota Vikings mug.

Herman looked over at me and said:

"Wolfman, (that's what he always called me) you look awful. What is the matter? "

"Do you know anything about "destination weddings, Herman?", I asked. I just do not get it. What has happened to the old fashioned ways? "

Herman let out a huge belly laugh.

"Destination weddings are just for folks that don't know where they are going, " Herman said. After all, who would design a celebration that nobody could attend except by putting everyone in financial peril.....and then to make it worse....... do a double dip and plunder the locals who could not attend? "

Then Herman went on. "Up here in Normal, we have PURPOSE. "Purpose" and "Destination" are different."

"How so,?" I asked.

"Up here.......... everything is real simple. We love nature. We just love to fish. And yes .....we love rock and roll at the Hideway Lounge. Love just comes at no extra charge. We do weddings right in the midst of a fishing trip. .....It's no big deal. We just focus on the "purpose" and leave the "destination" thing for confused city folks. "

"Aren't you being a bid hard in this matter Herman?", I asked.

"I am just telling it like it is, Wolfman," he replied.

Then we were off to fish. Herman was helpful in getting the bait just right, getting the right location----wow were the fish hitting.

All the while as we were drifting and casting, I kept going over what Herman had said. Especially the part about the "love" being at no extra charge. I needed to go over the details of that on the next trip.

I have to admit. On the long drive back to good old Wisconsin. I did review. Thank goodness we live in the land of cheese and beer. Where we have "value meals",......and "value weddings".....and where one can schedule a "destination wedding".....and such.

Alleluia.