Dateline Normal: Epistles of Noah---Part II---FICTION

(Ed. note.: This is one of a long series of tales of FICTION from the land of Normal, Mn., a land up in northern Minnesota, up Hwy 10 just south of Garrison, and west of the Land of Lake Woebegone. These tales are on podcast on Itunes, and can be downloaded to listen on your ipod for FREE. When shipped out in CD form, they are always shipped in a brown paper wrapper clearly marked FICTION. )


The other night, right after a huge thunder clap had hit near the house, I thought I heard the phone ring. It was faint. Sure enough. It was the phone. But who would call at the unheard of hour of 2am------you guessed it. It was my old friend Herman, the countryboy lawyer from Normal, Mn.. But he never called. Something must be up I thought.

"I found the motherload", he yelled. "I found it!"

"What are you talking about," I asked.

"Well, Wolfman, (that's what he always called me.) You remember that in the Epistles of Noah, I had translated from the Hebrew---with great skill and difficulty I might add-------the last blurred part as 1 MILLION YEARS----or the complete text was "Notwithstanding this FLOOD, we will develop WEST and NORTHWEST ...in 1 million years------" Remember that, Wolfman?"

"YES, YES, I do remember, Herman. That was quite a translating event. Congrats!"

Herman went on: "That is nothing!"

I looked at the number again, and the final number is " 100 MILLION YEARS"----CAN you imagine THAT===Herman bubbled.

"No---I cannot imagine anything that long"---I said. I suppose that was the problem. It seemed not possible so you missed it."

"YES," Herman went on. Noah just could not bear to think that the wait would be that long. Such a long time to wait for further development. I fully empathize with him. He was an action kind of guy. It must have been tough."

I got off the phone. WOW. I suppose I could have told Herman to call me during regular office hours. But then it does not happen very often.

Thank goodness we're back in good old Wisconsin. Where we don't have to wait 100 MILLION years to develop WEST and NORTHWEST. It would be tough to wait that long. Even if it was the right thing to do.

Alleluia.