Dateline Normal, MN.; "The Longest Flood; The Longest Yard; The Longest Review"----FICTION

The other morning just at the break of dawn, over a fresh cup of coffee, extra sugar and whipped cream, my wife asked me the question, "How come we never hear of Mrs. Noah.?"

Being the Observer, I normally get to ask the questions. Being on the receiving end of such a tough one led me to simply smile and suggest that we get out of town for a weekend.

Yes, it is rare when I head out of town, up Hwy 10 north of the Twin Cities, that I would bring my wife along, bein that mostly its just the guys that frequent the Hideaway Lounge and the sacred spots of the north. However--- I decided to make a special exception in the case of the "Longest Flood."

When we got through with the pleasantries at the Hideaway Lounge, having ordered the "dry martini, shaken, not stirred, and the wife ordering her usual dacquiri---I opened with the observation that I wondered if it was my imagination whether as we get older in life, the trials get "longer" in duration. The floods get longer, etc. ------
The guys were very amused.

"Absolutely not, Wolfman!" Herman burst out in partial laughter. "It must be that your mind is getting slower. These trials have ALWAYS been LONG. Your memory might be failing. Remember those famous films----"The Longest Day"===Wow what a great war flick that was!! And how about that football flick "The Longest Yard"----that was one of my favorites. But the ALL time favorite "Longest" film was the classic "The Longest REVIEW." What a blockbuster that was!!!!!!"

"I don't remember "The Longest Review", I said. "Are you sure it was not some grade "B" movie or maybe just a Minnesota Public Television special movie.?"

"NOPE", Herman replied. It was a national release.

It was a story about a school official that kept coming up for review, but the school board just kept postponing it. It dragged on forever and forever. "

"I don't understand what is so difficult about a simple salary review. It is just one slip of paper," I asked in an innocent tone.

"Well, Wolfman, (that's what he always called me), this was a case of sheer moxie. By delaying the salary review, for a full TEN years, the official was locked in to the previous salary rate-----What a great way to deliver COST CONTAINMENT!!! "

"Do you mean that the delay was a form of salary administration?, I asked.

"YES", Herman roared. And what a moxie move it was."

I was just TOTALLY shocked. Thank goodness we are back in good old Wisconsin. Where we do not even KNOW of such moxie moves as the TEN YEAR Salary Review. We might go a YEAR or so, but TEN is just way off the chart.

I did have to hand it to those folks in Normal, Mn.. They really knew how to set the standards. TEN years is quite a record. Maybe....Just maybe....If we pursued excellence....we could go for the record.

Maybe