Dateline Normal, Mn.: "The Gospel of Noah"---FICTION

Recently, with all the rain and all, I have been wondering about weather patterns. One of the concerns is whether that axis of rapidly intensfying rain extended all the way up to the frozen tundra of Normal, Mn.

So----I just decided to pick up the cellphone and call Herman, my old countryboy lawyer friend, who was not only a practicing lawyer in Normal, but a distinguished member of the Normal Minnesota School Board. I just wondered what Herman was doing to cope with all the rain that seemed to be plaguing the Midwest right now.

Despite the rainy conditions, I did get a cell phone connection.

"Herman," I yelled into the phone, "Has it been terrible with flooding up in Normal?"

"YUP"---Herman replied. "It's been a mess. It's been no problem though, cause we are mostly in a flood plain and do not build houses there, and the school board most certainly does not build houses there. "

"Why not?", I replied.

"It's real simple," Herman replied. "First of all, as a member of the school board and all, but mostly cause I am a lawyer, I have a fiduciary responsibility to not be negligent and build in a flood plain. To do so would mean my removal from the school board. Just search it on the internet, Wolfman. A lawyer has a serious responsibilty not to be negligent in things like building in flood plains."

"I never heard of that, Herman. Where is this found?"

"It is simple law school stuff, Wolfman, (that's what he always called me.) It's just part of Prosser on Torts, the bible of torts, or negligence in law school.

"But besides the law, there is the RELIGION."

"Whatever do you mean, Herman?" What does RELIGION have to do with it.?"

Herman replied: " Up here, Wolfman, we believe in the Epistles of Noah---it's one of them "LOST' texts. I have even seen copies of the parchment scrolls, which are copied and printed with the epistles of Mary Magdaline and the Epistles of Thomas.

In one fragment, as Noah is entering the ark, he says:

"Nothwithstanding these flood waters, we will still build West and Northwest, but will just add as many holding ponds as necessary........"

"What was that part at the end, Herman?

"Well, it was a little blurred, Wolfman. After careful review of the original Hebrew, I have discovered that Noah said, "We will still build West and Northwest AFTER ONE MILLION YEARS. "

"Great research work, Herman. What a discovery!"

"Yes," Herman replied. Even though it would be a million years till there would be further development, Noah still was POSITIVE. POSITIVE about the million years part anyway. "

Well there it is. Even though the gospel of Thomas and yes the gospel of Mary Magdaline is ...well....maybe......possibly fiction....ya gotta believe in the gospel of Noah.

Alleluia.